Help me make this decision...

[knowledgeispower]

I have posted previously about my p and came to the conclusion that I have a cocklodger on my hands.

I have recently told my family that I want to end the relationship and move to be nearer to them. I got very emotional and my mum was concerned.

So here is my problem. I have decided to leave and have been looking at houses nearer (about 300 miles away) to where my family and friends are. I have found one and been offered it. I need to make a decision by the end of today. I'm not sure I can face the upheaval of a big move but the house is really lovely and a member of my family went to view it on my behalf yesterday.

It all seems so sudden as I'd have 4 weeks to get everything sorted and tell p its over. Then on top of that I'm concerned about dd starting a new school (year 5) and making new friends etc.

I have been very tearful today. I don't know whether to take the bull by the horns and just go for it. Or hang back spilt with p and then deal with a move later on. What would you do?

Have moved and it's been a draining few days. Was feeling quite elated at one point and now feel completely flat like the ground has been taken from beneath me. Luckily I'm staying with family for a week or so.

Got to realise that the person I'm missing is a figment of my imagination.

I'm just so tired and feel really low. I have brrn crying on and off since I left my old house.

Starting to wonder if I've made a mistake.

I'm really sorry to hear this knowledge but you are spot on: the man you are missing and the relationship you are grieving for don't really exist- think back to what you posted and remember the reality of what it was like. It was grim enough to make you want to leave and have a chance at proper happiness.

Everything is a bit up in the air and unsteady right now because it's been a time of big transitions and changes, but things will settle and you'll start to feel more rooted in your new home. You have family nearby to help. Probably, the business of the move has helped distract you a little bit from the break up, and now that all of that is done, you have more head space to dwell.

If you are wavering, list all the things he did that make you want to get away in the first place!

No - you haven't made a mistake. It will just take a while to get your head around it.

Stay strong sweetie.

Moving is always draining, don't worry, your energy will return.

Yes, the person you're missing doesn't exist. The memory of him will fade soon.

As pp said, you are in transition. You've left your old life but not really embarked on the new one yet. You're bound to feel a bit fragmented.

Take it easy, enjoy having your family close. When you're ready you can start scribbling down ideas for what you want to do with your new found freedom.

Hello all,

Happy to say I'm feeling a bit more positive now! It's not easy but I'm getting there. I do feel lonely some evenings, sometimes wondering if I have made the right decision. That's just a self esteem issue.

DD has adjusted well, seems happy and is taking everything in her stride.

I went out for meal last night for a friends birthday dinner. It was lovely to be out and about and put a frock on etc

Brilliant to have a positive update. I was here but under another name!
Hope everything continues to go well.

Just re read this thread as I wanted to look back and refresh my memory of how far me and dd have come.

I said in a pp that I wanted to 'look back on my birthday later in the year' and be glad I took the chance. Well? I celebrated my birthday at the end of last month and I did just that!

Feeling fabulous!

If anyone is going through similar and reads this it can be done. I know my situation wasn't as bad as some peoples but in my head it was. I over complicated everything and tied myself in knots for nothing.