Cheating partners..... What did you miss?

[Melodygrace]

Ok I know the usual signs of cheating losing weight, out longer hours, possessive over phone etc....
I was wondering if you have been cheated on what other things did they do that made you suspicious ? When you confronted them is there any advice you would give now things to do what not to do. Basically anything that could help.
Has anyone confronted a man or woman and they have told the truth? Is there any point confronting with no solid evidence? Has anyone had that 'gut feeling' and been wrong? How have you caught them out? Sorry for all the rambling....

[CurtWild]

Ah yes..the pretending to fall asleep early on the sofa. I forgot that one. It was his way of not having to engage with me much, and also a way of getting me to go to bed early so he could text her.
"Are you calling me a liar?" I heard that one a fee times to. To start with I'd be flustered and upset but one day I looked him in the eye and said "too bloody righy I am.." He didn't like that one bit, it showed him the blinkers were falling from my eyes and I suddenly had a measure of him.

[LuluJakey1]

Gave me a list of phone numbers so I knew where he was when he was away overnight on business- 'bout 12 years ago when not everyone had mobile phones. Always rang me for a nice chat - so I never needed to ring the place to speak to him.
One day was doing the washing when I thought I might as well do his rugby kit. Found Estate Agent details for rented houses in town 30 miles away where his secretary came from! Turned out e was shagging her, she was leaving husband and he was go g to rent her a house and stay with me but continue the affair. I kicked him out. When it all came out I started to track back through the lies and check up. Not a single one of the phone numbers he had written up was right. He had changed a digit in every single one- such an easy mistake to make! Bastard. Was so well rid of him although didn't think so at time.

[stargirl04]

Mine was always "working late", was suddenly away frequently at weekends visiting his mate "Wes", and he developed mentionitis - in that a woman called "Jackie" was mentioned often in conversation.

He was grumpy and sullen at home and suddenly didn't like items of clothing that I wore, which previously he'd liked. Nothing I did was right.

I confronted him and he looked me right in the eye and denied it. My own sister even knew but never told me until years after we'd split.

About two months after I'd ended the relationship, he came to see me, stood on my doorstep and begged me - with tears streaming down his face - to come back to him, saying I was the love of his life. I said No.

How did he react? He went on holiday with Jackie, mentionitis woman, and they were married soon after - within weeks. They are now divorced.

[DickCrack]

The strange change in sleeping habits. Falling asleep in chair every night at 9. Then sitting up late, to send his dirty texts. Clinging to the edge of the mattress if he came to bed at all. Phone always dead, battery problems allegedly. Causing rows, being unpleasant, thinking I had evil motivations behind everything I said and did and voicing it. Refusing any intimacy. No interest in sex. No interest in me. Claiming to be ill all the time, upset stomach, presumably so he could go to toilet repeatedly and text. Sitting apart from me. Needing to go out all the time, obv to make phone calls. God so much, I was stupid not to notice for so long.
This thread has helped remind me of the crap I was putting up with, I'm so much better off without him.

[RedRoom]

All of my warning signs were blissfully ignored by a trusting me for two years, until I pieced them all together after finding undeniable email evidence totally by accident.

Staying out late with friends I'd never heard of, uncontactable - once until 4am.

Being self-employed, business seeming to be picking up massively so always taking work calls and on business visits...but the household income not increasing at all.

Getting texts but only reading them/ replying to them when I wasn't right next to him. At the time, he'd quickly check then say it was about work and nothing important.

Setting up a second email account and making a big deal of leaving the first one open. Didn't think anything of it at the time, but it screamed of 'look- I'm faithful, honest!'

Never leaving the phone anywhere without a pin on.

Getting drunk and oddly emotional about how much he realised he loved me.

[RedRoom]

Oh, and on the day I found out he was cheating, we went out with friends and he publicly accused me of flirting with my male hairdresser. He had been emailing and sexting over 20 different women, but had the audacity to try and project his disgusting behaviour onto me.

Strange new phone behaviour coupled with accusations that you are the one cheating / protests of 'are you calling me a liar?' should ring alarm bells!

[whostolethesocks]

Haven't had time to read the whole thread but the phone was always on silent/vibrate and face down or glued to him, he stayed up late when I went to bed, always on the laptop in a position where I couldn't see what he was doing. I found confirmation by accident though as a previous poster did and then pieced everything together. Even then he minimised it - we're just friends, I'm helping her with you marriage problems, etc ....the usual script I've since found out by various posts on here.

[QueMierda]

DH had cheated alot, mostly ONS. So went mostly undetected. The EA, hysterical bonding with phone etc only started when he fell for one of the girls.
I wonder how easy it must be for them the 'hook up' with a prostitute for an hour after work then stroll breezily home, with us none the wiser?

[DickCrack]

Forgot another one, the sudden friendship with a recently separated school dad. Obviously getting some tips.