Would you mind your DH/DP talking to another woman about sex?

[mrdrew]

Not sexting but just talking to a particular female friend about it as they may with their male friends - about previous experiences and stuff

It would depend who and why.

Yes

Hmmm, if DH was doing that I would be amazed - we don't discuss past partners so I would be very at him doing this unless it was a funny story for example.

If a woman was telling DH about her sex life he would be embarrassed I think, but I would be quite wary as to why she wanted to share that info with him.

That said DH doesn't have close female friends so the whole thing would be odd to me.

Erm, I wouldn't be very happy about that at all! I doubt DH would be ok with it being the other way round also!

No special reason fairenuff I just mean as a topic of conversation with a female friend

Yes.

Is it your dh doing it OP, or are you the dh?

Yes I would and he would if it was the other way round.

yes, probably, would depend on what/who/why though

Umm, I have lots of male friends. Moreso than female actually.

Aside from the odd off colour joke told in my presence, I would tend not to talk to those friends about sex (in a general sense) nor they to me. (I'm not talking about jokes, news stories or anything - that's fine - but 'have you ever tried rimming?' - not fine )

We share many things, but in a heterosexual encounter, we don't really share the same experience, so they can't really empathise. I certainly don't talk to any friends who know DP about our sex life. I would really rather they didn't blush beetroot and stare at the socks next time we all have lunch

On the other hand if it was 'oh so and so - I slept with him at uni and he kept his lucky socks on' I wouldn't be bothered.

In a happy long term relationship, I'm not sure why you'd be trading tales with a mate of any gender about your previous sexual encounters, unless you've had a particularly colourful sex life, or an an octogenarian reminiscing about lost youth...

YES

Depends what the conversation involved, and how detailed it was

My dh - we went to a beach fairly local to us and he said that his friend had had sex on that beach when she was younger. I thought he was joking but he wasn't and he said that they'd had a conversation once about doing it on beaches. He didn't think this was strange and I got the impression it wasn't a one off but he said he couldn't remember any others

I wouldn't be bothered about that, if that was all it was

It sounds pretty general and impersonal to me

Mmmm not sure. Would depend on who etc. I don't really think he would tbh because he's a bit prudish in that respect. I doubt I would find out if he did though.

This is a friend of his I don't know he used to work with her and then he left and now just sees her occasionally but think he still emails her

No, I wouldnt like it. TMI for me. Id be quite happy for him to keep that sort of info to himself

Your Dh was open and honest and told you about it, so he is not keeping secrets from you. I wouldn't worry too much.

What are the emails about?

As AF said, thats general and impersonal.

Anyway, if hubby and another bloke had had the same conversation, would op have been asking this question? Of course not, so whats the difference.

I wouldn't worry about that OP. It sounds like something that just came up in conversation.

I asked him again and he's said they talk about sex sometimes but that it's not different to talking to his other friends. Just feels a bit strange but I don't have many male friends so can't imagine doing the same thing.

Some people like to talk, generally, about sex - either gossip about celebrities, past antics or techniques and preferences. Some people talk about sex in general but prefer not to talk about what they do with their current partner in front of mutual friensd (though plenty of people are quite happy to go into considerable detail with likeminded friends - nothing wrong with that as long as no one's embarrassed or annoyed and the conversation isn't being used to punish and humilate one partner) Other people don't find it a very interesting topic of conversation. Some people are offended by discussions of sex no matter what.

Going by what you've posted, OP, you sound a bit twitchy and inclined to police your partner's interaction with other people. Is there some history of him pursuing other women? Or are you someone with very strict monogamy boundaries - or have you been cheated on by previous partners and therefore get very jumpy about the possibility of it happening again?

I wouldn't consider myself twitchy and don't have any history of dh or anyone else cheating. Generally we have a good relationship and I trust him but have found it strange to think he was discussed sex with another woman. I didn't think that was that strange

Spot on answer, from SGB, totally agree.

I don't think he was "discussing sex" though, was he ? As in strict technical detail about preferences etc. It came up in conversation in a "omg, I can't believe I have had sex here" kinda way ?