The Dating Thread 73.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

I'm coming off the tthread. Hopefully only for a week or two, till I feel better. Thanks guys.

I'd love to see if we did know who each other were straight away.

I reckon I'd know Dont and MadeMan ...

Don't I really don't think that the problem here is the thread per se... I know from when I was going through my separation and divorce just how much strength I drew from my MN thread. Perhaps you need to focus on your other thread that's all about you.

Maybe what you need to do is stop all dating and focus on getting your life a bit more straight. I think there's a lot of unfinished business with the ex that really needs to be tackled. Another man in your life won't make all of that crap stuff go away, even it makes you feel better for five minutes.

Not wishing to sound sour but I hope that the reason you're coming off the thread isn't because G has been in touch and made it a condition of communication. If I recall you left the thread at his behest previously. Anyone who asks that of you is wicked and petty and does not love you (I hope that's my over-active imagination dreaming up that scenario).

I'm sorry if my words offend you and cause you distress right now but maybe they'll give you food for thought at some point.

Good luck with finding some peace of mind. I know what it's like to not have it.

Morning all...I have my first date of 3 later!

The trouble is I've been awake half the night with money worries (exP hasn't paid his half of the mortgage) so I feel terrible, got a bit upset last night and awake at 3am. Don't know what I look like yet as haven't looked in the mirror.

Part of me can't be bothered to meet anyone and part of me says, stuff it just do it louby!!

don't we'll miss you, please don't be gone long and I tend to agree with before

folk - ahh a weekend away, sorry you can't get in anywhere

super hope you get a text soon

god for it louby even if u don't feel up to all 3, go to at least one or two. hope u can get the money stuff sorted

go not god!

be strong scarey you can do this xxx

Scarey you have not let anyone down! You like this guy so of course you want it to work, and you don't want to see him on Tinder either! It's difficult to put someone on the spot - I chickened out till Mr Cute texted me (see my photos) Tinder is just a plaything - nothing is meant to be serious at all about it.

Hopefully he wont go on it x

Jarlin MBB has texted me since yday and today...

Now I've got one of those generic emails from match from a 33 year old which is ahem a bit young maybe?!

How are you checking if he's been on tinder?

Scarey, sorry. Late for hair appointment!

Hi, can I join? I haven't read the thread, though I used to lurk when it was thread 26. I've just joined pof and feel a bit giddy. I think I may need your guidance on this dating thing. It's been quite fun so far. Though I'm guessing that might change.

I'll go off to catch up on the thread before I ask any questions. Though is it usual to be given phone numbers so early? And can I say no?

Hi Rummikub.

Of course you can say no!

Everyone's different. Some people only meet after talking on the phone, I wouldn't talk on the phone until after meeting, ever.

I exchanged mobile numbers only once a date had been made so that loads of people didn't have my number. As much as anything, I didn't want to be bothered by texts and stuff when I was at work or doing stuff with my children!

Good luck!

Thank you for replying. Can see what you mean. I'm amazed how quick some want to meet. Too fast for me!

rummi I would say you need to get the balance. The ones who want to meet immediately and give phone numbers seemed too fast and just wanting sex or wierdos.

but be careful. you can invest hours in chatting online to someone who turns out to be completely different to how you thought. I would say that you need to arrange to meet for an hour for coffee or something pretty quick.
there were people I chatted to and got on great but when I met them I had zero attraction to.
but others who weren't so chatty online but I felt immediately comfortable with in person.

good luck!

Thank you doorbell. Sound advice. I hadn't even put a photo on as I just wanted to play see what is like.

I have also replied to anyone, that includes those who just say hi or hey. Rookie error?

So my gut feeling says the following, please tell me if I'm wrong:

Phone numbers too quick- they just want sex
Meeting suggested within 3 messages- sex
Want to travel from another city-sex or run far, run fast

I do feel like I'm in freshers week. Bit exciting, but scary, I'm fresh meat!

Oh yeah, one more thought. Lots of younger guys (20s, early 30s) whilst I'm 40 something means they want sex or are collecting.

How many should I talk to at once? Is 9 too many?

If I chat to a few I get confused, I'd say go at pace you feel comfortable with.
Mr IT had my number soon into chatting and I met him a week later.
It just felt right

RummI, I would be wary of anyone contacting me when I didn't have my profile pic on there. To me I feel they are the ones just looking for sex. There should be some attraction there and they would only know that if you had a pic up. I've only just started on there and exchange numbers after 3 days of constantly messaging someone back and forth. Then we agreed a date at the same time.

Scary, be careful. I still use tinder even though I have every intention of turning anyone down. I do it to fill the time when I'm bored and in a way I guess I do it so that if it doesn't go anywhere with mr nice I then have others I can message. So don't read too much into the fact he's been on there.

Lou, good luck on your dates this weekend. Have fun.

Mr nice is coming to my house tomorrow night for a night in ...eek! I haven't had another man here since I split up with dh in the summer. I have no idea what to do. I may have to hit the wine!