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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Dating Thread 73.

999 replies

MadeMan · 19/04/2014 12:09

Hello and welcome.

OP posts:
Minime85 · 29/04/2014 20:04

I'm a sucker for a nice smile. I think the personality can be physically attractive though too.

FolkGirl · 29/04/2014 20:32

Physical attractiveness vs personality...

Hm, well I've only ever had one boyfriend that other people said was 'good looking' and he was an utter bastard.

I usually go for 'interesting' looking men. I generally find good looking people a bit boring to look at!

SuperFlyHigh · 29/04/2014 20:34

Jarlin thanks for that. yes it did go well.

I know what you mean re slow re kinder and gentlemanly. That can really count for a lot. MBB (my date) may not tick every box (he ticks a fair few though) but I can see potential there and he seems kind, sympathetic (tried out stuff on him in emails that I wouldn't normally mention). Also, one may think "oh a banker" and think of all the cliches attached to that personality but I think he's certainly different from the norm, better read, more open etc. which is nice.

mademan - but what's wrong with wanting to spend more time with someone? also call me a tart but I sort of want to know if there's kiss potential there… but I will keep drinks well not short but maybe 2 hours max.

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 20:41

don't any emails?

super you sound v happy. .. pleased for you xx

scarey any closer to a decision yet????

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 20:44

jarlin I'm with you... I would much prefer the slow burn too Grin

Canihaveaslice · 29/04/2014 21:01

Super- you sound so happy Grin glad it went well.

I think personality is more important than looks but I also think you must find the person attractive, even if it's only you who fancies them. There must be something that makes you go weak at the knees when you see them

Original poster
MadeMan · 29/04/2014 21:09

There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone Super, I was just speaking from some of my early dating experiences and suggesting that smaller bite-sized dating at the early stages might make it easier to think about things when mulling the date over later on at home. Too much time too soon with someone can send your head spinning sometimes; I know it can with mine. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MadeMan · 29/04/2014 21:17

"There must be something that makes you go weak at the knees when you see them"

What about a man that makes you want to put the kettle on when you see him? Does he have a chance? Grin

OP posts:
Minime85 · 29/04/2014 21:23

mademan I think I agree about making your head spin. I feel like that at the moment and need to just step back and evaluate it all more.

UrsulaBuffay · 29/04/2014 21:26

Good teeth is almost a deal breaker for me, I keep fixating on stuff like that. I figure if someone is really right I won't look for an excuse to ditch them.

Canihaveaslice · 29/04/2014 21:56

Mademan- a cup of tea is always wanted Grin

I think it's knowing if someone better came along you could easily end it without another thought, whereas when your with the right person, they are that better one. No one else comes close

dontcallmehon22 · 29/04/2014 22:00

I compare every date to date 1 with geeky. Not one has come close. That date started at 3 and ended at 12.

Not checked email. I can't.

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 22:08

sad to say I would do almost anything for someone to make me cups of tea Blush

don't pm me the login details and I'll do it!

FolkGirl · 29/04/2014 22:28

Feel like I need to update you all with this, you know for the next time I'm having a wobble...

He emailed this evening and said he wanted to phone me. We never phone. I don't talk to anyone on the phone. Ever!

So I agreed but my heart was pounding because I thought he was going to tell me he'd slept with someone else over the weekend.

But he didn't.

He told me he just wanted to hear my voice. Blush

And he had a quiet weekend. He said that he went out a couple of times with his friends but everyone seemed really young. He said it was a great place to live when he was younger, but he's not interested in it at all now and he doesn't miss it.

He said he loves me.

So can you remind me of all this the next time I have a major wobble?

Thank you Flowers

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 22:36

folk am Smile for you xxx

Minime85 · 29/04/2014 22:41

folk Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

dontcallmehon22 · 29/04/2014 22:41

Ah folk that's lovely.

I think the guy on POF I'm talking to (with the same name and glasses as Geeky - we'll call him Henry II - it's not Henry but another kingly name) well I think he might be the one who could possibly break the wall I've put up.

He's writing a novel and we exchange snippets of writing. We've just been talking about heartbreak and he told me to listen to the song 'heart like a wheel' which sums up his thoughts on this. Omg it's beautiful.

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 22:47

don't henry II sounds good as long as he's not a replacement geeky who will also mess with your head?
Please be careful xx

dontcallmehon22 · 29/04/2014 22:49

I know white but I just want to feel something for someone again. He does look like Geeky but hopefully is not like him.

Jarlin · 29/04/2014 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontcallmehon22 · 29/04/2014 22:58

I can't check them. Not sure why. There'll be nothing there.

I like Henry II. We've been chatting for a while. I hope he asks me out soon. I broke my rule and messaged him first, after folk said that's what she did.

Denton2406 · 29/04/2014 23:11

Better to know one way or the other really, then you can try and move on....

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 23:26

don't take the power back and delete the email account.

HanselandGretel · 29/04/2014 23:44

Hi to all.
Need a bit of advice, I'll keep it short as possible. I deleted my OD account as I was really fed up with the whole thing, also found out my exH was on there which really put me off. Anyway, was browsing the site yesterday, just having a look and saw I guy I had met once socially in a group situation was on there. On the night I met him we chatted and I found him attractive but he left the group early as he had to catch a train home. I've not seen him since with the group and I've not been going out with them much at all (it's a social group type thing).
My dilemma is if I was on the dating site I may have a chance of getting chatting to him but I really don't want to be visible on there due to my ex...but if I rejoin and don't have a pic up then this guy won't even see me so no chance of him messaging...that's if he liked the look of me. I don't really want to message him first...I know that's the obvious thing to do but I'd prefer to gauge his interest first.
I could contact him through the social group but that would be even worse I suppose!
Any suggestions/ thoughts?

dont hope you're ok, sounds like you have left yourself open to being hurt but I totally get where you are coming from and would (and have) done the same thing myself.

whitedoorbell · 29/04/2014 23:48

hansel can't you join the site but block yr ex then he can't see you?