The Dating Thread 73.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

In all honesty Scarey, given that you want to stay with him I'd set up a fake profile with a friend's photo (with her permission, of course) and approach him. If you connect when chatting and he agrees to a date then at least you know.

Scarey, how did you know he's been active on tinder? I thought you could only see them if you had both matched each other? Could it be that he's just using it to pass the time of day and it means nothing. You need to ask him? I've used tinder when I'm bored not because I want yo meet any of them. I think the only way you'll know is to just ask or you will constantly be wondering.

I'm doing my own head in. I keep questioning if I like (mr nice) enough, I like him as he's a nice bloke but not sure if I want to rip his clothes off and have passionate sex with him. I feel bad just carrying on in the hope that the passion arrives but then I do enjoy his company. If the sparks not there initially do you think it can grow? Wwyd?

Cani I feel like that about toryboy. I don't think it does grow, personally.

I was so reminding myself of rule number 7 today as I thought I was going to be cancelled on.

Ok saw Mr IT on Sunday we went shopping and a meal really nice day and night.
I worry I'm tools for him , it sounds daft but I worry I don't know how to dress I've never been very good with fashion it occurred to me this an that I can remember being in high school and going to watch tennis after school and I went in my uniform .
I need fashion help ???????

Denton Good luck for Wednesday! I can see why you might feel a bit put off though. You must have just made a really good impression! How much younger than you is he?

louby Definitely see them all, if you're interested! I managed 3 dates in one weekend once. Saturday lunch, Saturday evening and Sunday lunch.

It was really hectic and I was exhausted, but it was fun. Interestingly, it was the weekend I met the man I'm seeing now (he was Sunday lunch!)

Scarey I think you're going to have to speak to him. Otherwise you're going to be plagued with thoughts like that all the time. That's the reality.

louby go for it... will be interesting to see which one turns out to be the most promising

jesy don't worry about fashion. pick things you like that look good on you

scarey any more news? still worried for you

jarlin thank you x

17 years! I'm 48 and he's 31. But I'm really young at heart having worked overseas for yrs and have loads of younger mates!

scarey if he was just lookong thats one thing but messaging in my book is more than looking
I don't know. for me personally I would have difficulty trusting someone.. but that isjust me

I'm afraid I would ve thinking he is having his cake and eating it.

good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

Scarey I agree with white. Hope you get to the bottom of it.

I am too scared to check my email. I genuinely feel that answers would help but I may not get them. I feel so sad that I can't meet someone I'm really attracted to . I just want a relationship. And I do want to move on.

dont - just checking in - don't be scared to check your email! You can move on if you do this I know it's hard - will hold your hand later whilst you check emails.

jesy if you want style advice come to Style and Beauty board - they're really nice there and great with advice!

Thanks super. I just don't think he'll reply at all. Had a cry this morning. Posted another thread about it all.

Hope the date with MBB is fab!

don't hope you feel bit better for crying? it makes me feel drained but a bit better xx

A little, white. I just don't quite know what to do with myself.

dont - my date went well thanks.

It's strange - I had slight nerves about it (good?) and I think I blushed slightly once or twice during the date which maybe shows something… anyway I was definitely attracted to him and I think the feeling was mutual just a killer it was a lunch date and I literally had only an hour… however he wants to see my for drinks this Saturday but he's detoxing so will only be on soft drinks… which will mean I will hopefully watch my drinking!

It's amazing when you think of chemistry and how someone appears, sounds, looks like in real life - he looks like his photos etc. But it's also interesting (and telling?) when you look at someone, their plans etc and wonder, could he be 'The One'?!

Scarey - yes, well, the talk.

Personally going on the evidence you've given so far (changed pic, been on site etc) I'd ditch or at least treat as casual straightaway…

but then you know him better than I/we do here.

It's strange sometimes how if we back off etc men often go into full on mode - or even have different communication modes/types to us….

I'm wondering too Scarey re innocent - changing of pics? being online?

MBB changed one of his pics to a casual one (rest are smart) but that was whilst we were emailing and we have only just met so I wouldn't or didn't think much of it…. though I did think 'hmmm are you emailing anyone else and if so how many?!" but then again I got so many emails and quick replies and lengthy ones too that if he was emailing someone else he'd have to be on the ball with them. and so what if he is? I've got a date on Friday but only with a man who won't leave me alone so it won't go anywhere!

What do we think about physical attractiveness vs personality & 'clicking' I'm coming to the conclusion I can't have both

Ursula to be brutally honest I've dated men who I didn't find attractive (an ex boyfriend I met in real life over 10 years ago introduced by a friend) and Kent Lad who I didn't fancy IRL but his personality won me over (and him grinding me down…).

The ex boyf always knew I didn't fancy him but we stayed together I don't know why, habit, desperation? all stupid stuff considering I was a mere slip of a girl then at 29!

MBB (current date) is physically attractive but not perfect and also has a nice personality and really that's best of both for me. He does have some face parts (big nose) that I'd normally not be keen on but it fits in his face and so what! He's also slightly pock marked (not badly) but then again, so what… and that's me being picky. He got on well with me today and has been an angel re his emails (funny, intelligent, interesting etc) so here's hoping for more good things from him!

so Ursula I'd say give and take.

would you want a male model looks type who was thick as 2 short planks or was rude/abusive etc? or someone less attractive who's funny but with a kind heart?! sounds a cliche I know!

"...just a killer it was a lunch date and I literally had only an hour… "

It's probably best to keep the first few dates pretty short, even if you're getting on really well. I remember dates when I was a lot younger that started off well enough, but then went on for too long and ended up being crappy. Short dates give you time to think about what happened later on at home and less chance of getting too drunk/waffling on too much.

Aw you sound excited! :)

I think I am too picky but I wasn't physically attracted to my ex any more which worries me about putting personality first. Feel like I'd be back in same situation. I've clicked with two who I didn't think 'phwoar' & thought 'phwoar' about loads of total bellends.

"What do we think about physical attractiveness vs personality & 'clicking' "

To me physical attractiveness is important, but only to a certain point; I don't think anyone could truely 'click' with someone they found to be utterly repulsive. Finding somebody that you can't stop smiling around is better than how good they would look on a magazine cover.

However, I like women with nice eyes and nice teeth; those physical qualities are more important to me than a toned body, or tweezered eyebrows.