Is it true most men would rather be with women under 35?

[adjani77]

Unfortunately for me I have been reading a lot online on the "manosphere" recently and a lot about what men think about women ( or a certain kind of man). Talk about "Sexual market Value" which basically amount to women of 30+ are basically hideous monsters to men their own age and older. I see this to on dating websites where men mostly are prepared to date women 10 - 15 years younger but will often not even want to date women the same age as them!

In the press recently 2 high profile men Stephen Hendry and Rowan Atkinson have both left their wives for women half their age (both women are also dead ringers for the 1st wives!).

I find it really depressing. I understand that we can get attracted to other people but if you have a good marriage, if your man is getting love, sex, affection and friendship surely he will have no reason to stray right?

I just don't know. Perhaps I am just worried about getting older 40 in a few years and how will that affect my partners satisfaction with me?

It seems that even men who are happy and love their wives / partners can fall in love with someone else, someone younger and transfer their love and affection to another. I guess I just need to accept that nothing is ever certain in life.

Has anyone else read any of that manosphere stuff about women and SMV etc what do you think?

RyvitaSesame - You won't get a bite if you've got your kids with you. Men will automatically assume you have a husband. Btw, I don't walk around Tesco throwing ready meals for one in the trolley or anything. I've just found it to be that kind of place. Having said that, I'm not the sort that walks into bares and stands there checking out the women in there before even buying a drink. I have mates like that and they wonder why they get nowhere. I've told them that women can smell the scent of desperation and they don't like it.

UtterFool - Has this younger woman given you any kind of encouragement? Even if she has, I'd forget all about it if I were you. Ask yourself if you totally despise your wife. If you act on any of this in any way, you'll destroy her.

bars, not bares. ffs.

Neil

No she hasn't. It's all me so I need to deal with it. Never had this happen before and I've not been pursuing it either so she is totally unaware. I intend to keep it this way!

Thanks though.

Good man. Buy yourself a sports car instead.

Not sure I completely agree that men don't look at you when you have children... I think more men look at me now! I had been told by a man that he had been scared to come and talk to me (I was confident/tall/not too ugly/posh) I think it has something to do with not having the party girl appeal and having a more rounded mothering (can cook/clean/look after, etc) appeal now. I assume deep down most men actually want to be mothered and that's why I get chatted up more when DD is there.

I don't have a ring on, which my also give away that I am single. I know men take their rings off for various reasons but I don't know any women who do. Have men not learnt to look at that clear indicator yet?

good man, buy yourself a sportscar instead

Are you fucking kidding me

Can anybody else see what is wrong with this statement?

Most young women wouldn't naturally look for an older guy. Girls under 25 look for fit, strong, youthful men who have hair! They fancy and drool over guys like the models in Hollister and Jack Wills. No man over 30 (at most) can aspire to look like that.

As girls hit 25 they may start to find some older men attractive but this is probably because they are possibly thinking of children at some point down the line. Although I still think they are of the age where it is still about looks.
Really what attractive girls aged between 20-30 will be drawn to men in their late 30/40s, separated, prob with children and have aged (receding hair etc). I'm not saying no girls wouldn't, but that guy would have to have status, money and charisma. Some men are just deluded!

I also think a lot of men are drawn to the attractive mum's at the school gate. The ones who look great and natural, but are also great wives too. Kind of have the whole package-clever, good mothers and wives, slim, pretty and smiley.
The dad's can't take their eyes off such women sometimes!

It'd never cross my mind to flirt with a woman who's got kids with her. Even if she wasn't wearing a ring, I'd just assume she's not married but has a partner.

Anyway, back to the under 35 thing. I think if I ever bothered with the online dating, I'd put 35 as a minimum rather than maximum. It's been said up-thread that men in their 40's are stipulating under 35's because they might want to start a family. That's a bit of a cheek really. So it's ok for him to pick the kids up from school when he's in his 50's but not his partner? Then again, those wannabe Peter Pans would probably want nothing to do with childcare anyway.

Uptheanty - I WAS JOKING!!!! Isn't that the stereotypical thing a man in a mid-life crisis does???

(no offence UtterFool)

Neil

Too late, I've already placed the order

Neil - I think its about the reality that women in their late 30s and above don't tend to 'conceive' quite as well as younger women. So if the older man wants to start a family, it's just logical that he would look for a woman of a certain younger age is it not?

Lol, anyway, who's talking about mid life crisis

Really what attractive girls aged between 20-30 will be drawn to men in their late 30/40s, separated, prob with children and have aged (receding hair etc). I'm not saying no girls wouldn't, but that guy would have to have status, money and charisma. Some men are just deluded!

I am in my mid-20s and dating a man in his early 40s. He is divorced with a child, not much spare cash, and doesn't have a high powered job. I don't think he has charisma to most people but I find him attractive and he is kind and interesting.

He wasn't looking for someone younger deliberately and I think it put him off at first.

I struggle to think what a girl in her 20s would have in common with a guy with baggage in his 40s.
A lot of guys have already had children by this age and certainly aren't looking to have any more.

"Nobody chats u up when u have children in tow! "

Yes, I can believe this. Whenever I see a woman out with children I always assume she has a partner at home or at work. I never stop to think that the children could be her sister's, or that she might be employed to look after children, or that she may be a single mum hoping to be chatted up.

neil

Thanks for the explanation -

I got it- unfortunately it seems you didn't.

I agree with all of your posts & you make lots of sense usually but.....

You have actually contributed to that man by your statement and validated sexist attitudes.

So he needs to fulfil a need that his older wife can't fulfil?
Don't get the younger woman, be a good boy, get a new flash sports car that should help your ego.
Fundamentally you're comparing women to objects in order to fulfil a mans need.

What he needs to get is a grip-

I'm not saying no young girls are attracted to older men. There are always exceptions. But it is unusual for girls in there 20s to be in a long term relationship with a man in his late 30s/40s. But I don't think this is the norm.
A lot of young women find young men attractive. That is probably normal. I don't ever recall finding many men attractive above 30 when I was younger. My friends were the same.

utterfool

When I say that man - I don't mean you personally, I mean the kind of man who does trade in IYSWIM.

I'm not trying to single you out or trying to be rude.

Although I did call you a cock & stand by it.

Most attractive, well dressed men in there 30s and 40s are married! And normally have there wives to thank for looking good.

Does make me wonder if it will last long term.

muchtoochoosy who knows?
As long as you're happy. See how it goes.

I hope I haven't come across as sexist because I'm not.
I was just making light hearted remarks based on cliches regarding older men. I wasn't even suggesting UtterFool was having a mid-life crisis. I was just pointing out that fancying younger women was one of the cliches but it would be far less damaging for him to pick another cliche in a joking manner.

Our neighbour is 45ish and does the standard well-groomed Anthea Turner tiny blonde look, and she's certainly not an anomaly in London.

As education, income levels increase women (and men) are often childfree, delay having children, not too many children, and know how to take care of themselves. Not necessarily uber posh, but just the standard been to uni, have a sport, know how to use sunscreen and dress well look. Which tends to then translate into being attractive to the opposite sex.

That said: I suppose all perspectives are valid, and maybe if a chap comes from a fairly small world which is maybe not so socio-economically privileged, and isn't as well educated then making the - somewhat broad - statement young woman phwoar, older woman bore might actually be the appropriate perspective? For his little world.

And any male who doesn't think phwoar at a younger girl is allegedly probably 'gay'? Crikey, I don't think he's going to be a proper professional type. And yes, I suppose he'll come back with the line but I'm a MAN so I know what men talk about and what they're REALLY like. But he'd be like an alien to men who actually have a decent career and income, there's not some universal brotherhood between "Mr City type who runs marathons and likes to keep his life well organised" and "Mr Middle Manager from Slough who likes to read FHM and has internet friends"?

So a bit of an outlier in my world, but his view is valid, still, in his world, I suppose, and he is entitled to it?

I suspect if the people he knows haven't ingested the message that beauty is actually very, very controllable - exercise, weight, posture, skincare, knowing how to dress and present oneself well - then youth is the only thing that distinguishes women from each other