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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I boring in bed?

26 replies

redtable2 · 15/04/2014 08:40

I have been married to my dh for 12 years. We get on really well and have a great relationship. We have 2 dc aged 7 and 9 and spend lots of time together as a family. We have sex about 3 times a week and it generally follows exactly the same pattern. Dh generally ends up on top and I orgasm twice before he comes. i worry i am boring but don't really know how to change. I find it hard to orgasm when i am on top. Dh says he is happy the way things are but i sometimes think i am depriving him of more exciting sex.

OP posts:

LiberalLibertine · 15/04/2014 08:44

If you're both happy,orgasming twice a time, and having it 3 x a week, I'd be bloody delighted!

Trust him when he says he's happy :)

Doshusallie · 15/04/2014 08:45

At the risk of sounding trite I'd say if it's working and you are both satisfied then consider yourself sorted!! DH and I have also been married the length you have, have two DSs the same age - you have sex three times as much as we do (we are once a week on a Weekend morning and if we miss that slot (pardon the pun) we don't have sex that week). I think DH and I both enjoy the sex we have but it is similar each time and we probably should mix things up a bit but we don't....

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 15/04/2014 08:49

You are worried about your DH being happy with the sex- are you happy? If not, then maybe think about mixing up your foreplay? A bit more oral? Try out some new positions?

WitchWay · 15/04/2014 08:50

I don't enjoy being on top not that we have much sex anyway

LEMmingaround · 15/04/2014 08:52

You are clearly doing something right

If you are both happy then don't change things, but maybe introduce some foreplay changes if you are both comfortable with it. I am not a fan of turning sex into a exercise in contortionism, missionary position is by far my favourite. DP likes me on top but i dont enjoy it so much am too lazy Just do what you like to do OP, try something new once, twice if you like it

RedRoom · 15/04/2014 09:04

Stealth boast

NormalBloke · 15/04/2014 11:54

You have 2 orgasms !!! wow I bet he feels like cock of the north

Of course he's bloody happy....The fact that you have the O's will make him feel content I am sure

Theres nothing to stop you adding in a bit of variety...

wallypops · 15/04/2014 12:07

Why do you think you should be doing more? I cannot imagine any man being disappointed with scoring a double! I'm in a new relationship, and we are at it like bunnies, but rarely manage to both come during the same session, but with three sessions a night we probably manage 3 orgasms between us - despite mixing it up endlessly. And neither of us is complaining at all - quite the opposite.

PoundingTheStreets · 15/04/2014 12:15

Are you really worried that much that he finds you boring, despite his protestations? Why would that be do you think? Are you generally insecure? Or are you having doubts about your relationship? Or are you bored? Or do you have a sneaking feeling that there could be more to sex and you want to try it out but are too scared to raise the subject so instead ask if he's bored?

I think you need to examine your motives here a bit more closely, and once you've understood them, go from there. IME unless you go straight from missionary to bondage club, most people rather enjoy introducing something new if they generally have a loving and satisfactory sex life already.

Good luck.

Hellomums123 · 15/04/2014 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 15/04/2014 14:48

Two orgasms I thought the whole multiple orgasm was a myth

goodasitgets · 15/04/2014 14:57

Slight side track but is that really unusual to have 2?
Not a stealth boast but am now as I usually have a few (between 5 - 15 ish)
Oh I should have name changed for this. Sloping off now

Jan45 · 15/04/2014 15:02

12 years together, sex 3 times a week and two orgasms each time, doesn't sound boring to me at all.

RedRoom · 15/04/2014 15:32

15 orgasms in one sex session?? That must be some sort of Guinness World Record. I genuinely have never encountered anyone for whom that is a normal sex session.

RedRoom · 15/04/2014 15:33

PS Are you sure it's an orgasm? I don't mean to suggest that you are naive or lying, but when I come once, it's so sensitive that I can't be touched for about ten minutes!

abbykins3 · 15/04/2014 15:34

Next!!!

Jan45 · 15/04/2014 15:38

No, it's 2 orgasms per session and it's perfectly normal to have two, or even 3!

goodasitgets · 15/04/2014 15:44

Nope it's definitely that! Sensitivity does come (sorry about the pun) but only after a few more. The first one is generally within a minute of stimulation. Although I can't orgasm via penetration
Definitely off to NC now

And OP I would be v happy with that sex life.. Are you happy though? Is there anything you want to try or change it up?

Jan45 · 15/04/2014 15:46

5-15 orgasms in one session, sorry I was replying to the OPs.....really? How long is a session, five friggin days at least I'd guess, lol?

goodasitgets · 15/04/2014 16:09

Not at all! Um.. Maybe an hour or so?
I'm honestly thrown that this is odd, definitely not a hairy handed trucker, I just usually lurk in s&b

Jan45 · 15/04/2014 16:18

15 orgasms in an hour, seriously, I think you are unique.

Original poster

redtable2 · 15/04/2014 17:03

Thanks for the really reassuring replies. I suppose I feel guilty for being a bit lazy and part of me would like to be a bit more adventurous. I know dh likes it when i am on top but doesn't like it when i don't come, but then maybe if i did it more often i would be able to. I should probably stop over thinking it.

OP posts:

goodasitgets · 15/04/2014 17:25

Maybe try a slightly different version - like on top but with him sat up too (works in a chair) or reverse cowgirl, or on top but um sort of circular grinding as opposed to thrusting

Joysmum · 15/04/2014 22:02

There's more to sex than coming. I like lots of different things for lots of different reasons despite the fact that they don't make me cum. For example giving head does not make me cum but I like the affect it has on DH. You can always mix it up a bit position wise and then resort to tried and tested to bring you off, best of both worlds.

twentysomethingnotforlong · 16/04/2014 09:33

Interesting one....

I would generally agree that yes, if it aint broke, don't fix it etc. However, I do wonder why you're questioning it in the first place.

As someone up thread said, there's more to sex than just cumming. So yeah, spice it up a bit if you like, but take the pressure off and don't think about the ending. If you know that's going to happen anyway (and twice!) then why not just try other things beforehand? For example, go on top for a bit, but end up in your mutually favourite position, to ahem....finish?

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