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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

He punched me in the face.

538 replies

NeedAdvice2014 · 12/04/2014 03:35

I don't know if anyone's awake. I am in a bit of a mess, in lots of ways. My H went drinking last night. He has form for being aggressive and nasty when drunk, though never violent towards me before. About a year ago I threatened to end things and he stopped drinking altogether. All of our issues stemmed from his drinking so I gave it another chance.

He started having just one glass - excuses like not making other people feel strange. Then going out when he was staying with friends. Last night he went to a work do, initially he said he would come home for DCs bed time, then that he would go straight from work and come home early. He got back after midnight, O heard him falling around, he went into the spare room.

About 3 he came into our bedroom and got into bed. He lay half on top of me hugging me and put his duvet over us. I was annoyed he had woken me again and said "what are you doing?" He said "I was trying to be nice you fucking cunt". I went to the toilet and when I came back he was across the whole bed and on my pillows. I wanted to go to the spare room and pulled my pillow out from under his head - I did do this quite roughly as I was annoyed. He jumped pit of bed, pushed me across the room and punched me full force in the face. I screamed and said I would call the police and he got back into bed. I could feel lots of blood.

I have a cut on the bridge of my nose which bled a lot, it's still oozing blood now. My nose and forehead are going to be bruised. I am in the spare room and have locked the door, he is quiet.

What the hell am I going to do? Our marriage is over, I am not letting my DCs grow up in a home where this happens. We are supposed to have H's friend and his DC stay tomorrow, I am going to tell him to cancel it. But then what? I think I need to tell him to leave, but I can't afford the house on ky own. What will I say to DCs? And what will I tell anyone, especially work, about the state of my face? I feel in shock.

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 12/04/2014 06:52

You have been so brave and strong. Well done. We are all so proud of you!

Wenchelda · 12/04/2014 06:53

Well done OP. You've done the right thing even though it's been incredibly hard. Can you occupy the kids with DVDs/tv when they wake to give yourself time to think? I hope the friend you texted earlier is able to come over and give some real life support. I've had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat just reading this thread so I can only imagine how you are feeling. You are a very brave lady and your children are lucky to have such a strong mummy x

FromagePlease · 12/04/2014 06:55

Another person thinking of you and sending virtual hand hold

kinkytoes · 12/04/2014 06:55

((((hugs)))) OP you brave lady! You've shown him he can't do this to you. Respect to you. Hope you get that cup of tea soon.

Uptheanty · 12/04/2014 06:58

I hope you're ok & they removed him without anymore trouble?

Innermagic · 12/04/2014 07:00

Thanks So sorry you are going through this stay strong and give your DCS lots of hugs

sebsmummy1 · 12/04/2014 07:00

OP you are amazingly strong to call, I really admire you lady and Vicar you are awesome. Hand holding xx

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara · 12/04/2014 07:01

Just read the whole thread.

Well done OP for calling the police. You have done the best thing you could have done for you and the DC.

Good luck with everything!

Attheendofmytether123 · 12/04/2014 07:03

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are doing an amazing thing in being strong enough to protect you and your children. You are teaching them that violence is not acceptable. Hand holding Thanks

ThatVikRinA22 · 12/04/2014 07:05

op will be a bit busy for a couple of hours....dont worry if you dont hear from her for a bit.

hope pal can come and sit, occupy kids while you give the statement if they wake up before its taken.

its hard to concentrate and give an account while you are worrying about the kids hearing.
get pal over asap. dvd on, games, chocolate for brekky....

ideally you in another room, no distractions.
then trip to a & e.
dont lie to doctors, hard as it is....thats important - if medical evidence is required its important its truthful.

right. i must sleep....
hope you get a nap too OP....you will feel exhausted. hope you pal is able to stay for a few hours and look after kids.

wallaby73 · 12/04/2014 07:05

And you do realise if you could "see" the support you have, you currently have about 100 mumsnetters standing with you in your house holding your hand, propping you up and urging you on...xx

dobedobedo · 12/04/2014 07:10

OP you're a hero. I wish my mum had been as strong and as wise as you when she was faced with similar. My childhood would have been very different.
The advice on here has been brilliant too. Vicar, you're great. (and the others, sorry can't remember names)

lostlalaloopsy · 12/04/2014 07:10

Well done OP, you have the absolute right thing. Having grown up with an alcoholic father who put drink above everything, I have seen the damage it can do. You and your dc deserve so much more than this.

Vicar - you are fab! What great advice and support.

Morgause · 12/04/2014 07:11

You have done the right thing. Please stay strong.

Sickofhuffs · 12/04/2014 07:11

Op I am so sorry this has happened to you tonight. Ur world has imploded. U are so strong to do the things u have done I am so proud of you and I'm so proud to be part of mumsnet. The support u have today and last night is huge. Love and strength to u And ur DC's today xxx

januarycat · 12/04/2014 07:12

Well done, Need. Hope your friend can be with you asap.

oldnewmummy · 12/04/2014 07:13

Another one with nothing to add but my respect for your bravery. You've done the right thing for yourself, your children, and your children's children.

Tealady1983 · 12/04/2014 07:15

Just wanted to say I think you have done the right thing you have to put yourself and the children first. Amazing strength op and don't doubt that for a second it takes a lot of courage and guts to stand upto a bully. What a wonderful mum you are being showin your dc this is unacceptable behaviour from anyone well done and big hugs always hear for an ear if needed am up very regularly through the night with dd x

tribpot · 12/04/2014 07:15

Well done, OP. You've done the hardest thing, but the right thing.

Please do make sure you are seen by a doctor, your injury sounds dangerous.

ChasedByBees · 12/04/2014 07:21

So pleased you involved the police, he cannot be allowed to treat you - and his children because this will affect them hugely - like this. Giving you a hand to hold x

Vicar Thanks

YoniMatopoeia · 12/04/2014 07:23

Well done OP. Get some rl support if you can . Can the friend you were thinking of staying with come over?

chocolatespiders · 12/04/2014 07:26

Need- what an awful night you have had I am so sorry.
Stay strong you have done the right thing for you and the future of your children.

kentishgirl · 12/04/2014 07:30

Hi OP, I know you are either busy or resting right now, but I wanted to say how much I admire you for your courage and wisdom. You have 100% done the right thing for yourself and your children.

fedupandknackered · 12/04/2014 07:31

im so glad you called the police. stay strong op x

Longtalljosie · 12/04/2014 07:34

Well done OP. How horrible - but remember you did not do this. He did.

Perhaps making contact with Al-Anon too? Not because I think you should work on your marriage - I don't, I think you should leave - but because you'll have support from other people used to alcoholism?