He punched me in the face.

[NeedAdvice2014]

I don't know if anyone's awake. I am in a bit of a mess, in lots of ways. My H went drinking last night. He has form for being aggressive and nasty when drunk, though never violent towards me before. About a year ago I threatened to end things and he stopped drinking altogether. All of our issues stemmed from his drinking so I gave it another chance.

He started having just one glass - excuses like not making other people feel strange. Then going out when he was staying with friends. Last night he went to a work do, initially he said he would come home for DCs bed time, then that he would go straight from work and come home early. He got back after midnight, O heard him falling around, he went into the spare room.

About 3 he came into our bedroom and got into bed. He lay half on top of me hugging me and put his duvet over us. I was annoyed he had woken me again and said "what are you doing?" He said "I was trying to be nice you fucking cunt". I went to the toilet and when I came back he was across the whole bed and on my pillows. I wanted to go to the spare room and pulled my pillow out from under his head - I did do this quite roughly as I was annoyed. He jumped pit of bed, pushed me across the room and punched me full force in the face. I screamed and said I would call the police and he got back into bed. I could feel lots of blood.

I have a cut on the bridge of my nose which bled a lot, it's still oozing blood now. My nose and forehead are going to be bruised. I am in the spare room and have locked the door, he is quiet.

What the hell am I going to do? Our marriage is over, I am not letting my DCs grow up in a home where this happens. We are supposed to have H's friend and his DC stay tomorrow, I am going to tell him to cancel it. But then what? I think I need to tell him to leave, but I can't afford the house on ky own. What will I say to DCs? And what will I tell anyone, especially work, about the state of my face? I feel in shock.

Just offering another hand and .

You've done everything right, now you need to look after yourself. Try and eat (especially if you will need to take painkillers) and see a Dr to check your nose over. If it heals badly it could leave you with long term issues.

More .

Another one offering support here. You did absolutely the right thing in contacting the police - and remember, this is all happening because your husband punched you in the face, not because you subsequently sought help. He has to face the consequences of what he did.

Please, please go to A+E. With all respect, if you are not a fully trained medical professional with access to the rigt equipment then you cannpt possibly know what damage has been caused. It isn't making a fuss to get checked out - your children need to you to be fit and well. They may also be able to take more detailed pictures / x-rays etc to show the extent of the damage this brute did.

Alcoholism is the cruellest disease, it doesn't just destroy the life of the person suffering from it but everyone who loves them too. Please trust me when I say that there is nothing you can personally do for your husband that is more powerful than what you have done for him last night. You should be so proud of yourself. You protected your children, stood up for yourself and have forced a man to face up to his illness. Whatever he chooses to do next is down to him and I hope that you are never made to suffer a moment's remorse for it. You are so brave and so strong. Never forget it.

I second everyone here who has urged you to go to A&E. You said yourself that the police officers were shocked by the state of your injuries. Most of us can't imagine the sort of horrors that police officers have to see every day. If the extent of your injuries shocked them then they are definitely bad enough to get checked out.

Look after yourself OP, you have awed mumsnet with your strength and we are all rooting for you xxx

(((((((((((((((((More Hugs)))))))))))))))))))) and another Hand to hold. from Australia

You have done the right thing for you and your children. I also regret wasting many years after he threw his first punch. I wish I'd been as brave as you.

You've done absolutely the right thing. Without a doubt. And sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest. You've been very strong so far. Take care

Well done you. Hope your friend is looking after you.

Oh Need

You are so brave and you sound like a wonderful, wonderful mummy - you have put your dc first through all this

I know others have urged a&e, and may I just back that up? Ok, if it's "just" a broken nose then they may not be able to do much, but you need to have it assessed and, importantly, they can give you painkillers. You are going to be very sore, and you need to have something that will reduce the discomfort. If the police were shocked then, sadly, it must be pretty bad

just a thought, ring the attending police back and ask them if they NEED you to attend the E&R. its quite possible they do. For the records

Just read all the thread.
Well done for calling the police, you've done the right thing.
Please please go to a and e though, you need your nose seen to.
Massive hugs for you and your DC.

OP, you have done brilliantly. So sorry this happened to you. But you MUST go to A&E and get your nose seen to. It's not true that you have to just let broken noses heal, you need to get it reset. Leaving a broken nose to reheal by itself can cause lifelong breathing issues and other problems (as well as changing your looks). I know, I can't breathe properly out of my right nostril after I was accidentally headbutted in the nose by someone headbanging when I was younger.

It will also help your case to have your injuries officially documented. Police officers are not HCPs, get advice from the professionals on medical matters. I understand that you probably feel like hospital is too much stress for you, and the DC, after this, but as much as you are setting a brilliant example for them to see you not tolerating violence, you must set them the example that you must look after yourself too. Not getting medical help for an injury caused by domestic abuse still sends them the message that abuse and violence should be minimised and isn't that important. Please consider that aspect.

Need,
I'm also offering some more handholding .

My first time commenting on a DV thread. I am so sorry that your Dh has done this to you in your own home.

If at any point you feel that you did the wrong thing by calling the police - be reassured that you did the only correct thing.

Both you and he now know that his shocking behaviour will no longer be tolerated or hidden. This has been such a brave, strong step for you. You should be so proud that you have stood up for yourself and your dc's.

I wish you peace in your lives. Please look after yourself by getting your nose looked at by a professional & good luck with your job.

Please also continue to hold your head up, the shame here is most certainly not yours.

I am so very sorry that your husband did this. I can only imagine how confused, hurt and vulnerable you must feel after being attacked by someone who is supposed to love you and that you should be able to trust. You have been so brave, and shown such strength, I'm in awe. You will get through this and look back and feel proud that you stood up for yourself and your DC when it was really hard to do so. Please get yourself checked out at a&e, they won't judge you. This is not your shame. Hang in there x

Not much to add advice wise.

Just wanted to say well done, you are very brave op.

Hope your feeling better later.

Hope you have managed to go to a & e. I know your head must be spinning try to make decisions whilst your in shock by what's happened.

OP, you have been incredibly strong and you should feel very proud about that.

I really think you should go to a&e. Better that you don't regret it later.

Well done and lots of hugs and hand holding xXx

Good grief OP this is horrendous. I hope your friend has arrived and you are feeling calm and supported. I am wishing you strength to cope with the next few weeks.

More ((((((((((((((((((((soft comforting HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Holds Your Hand

Wow thank you Mumsnetters, your support is making me cry. (In a good way). Have had some food and arranged for older DC to go to friend for afternoon then going to A and E with my friend and younger DC. Inspector rang and looks like H will get a Caution which means he will be free to go. I am going to ask him to stay elsewhere for a bit while I think what's next. Friend has offered jer flat if nothing else is possible, she will stay with me.

I still can't believe I'm a DV thread

You're doing so well Need. Remember, the shame is his.

Hang in there need. So glad you are with a rl friend. Hope the day is not too traumatic for you. .

Just wanted to line up behind everyone else and hand hold and hug. It is awful that this has happened to you but you've done the right thing OP. You're very strong and brave and that strength is going to carry you and your DCs to a far happier place. It's awful now. It won't be awful for ever.