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Original poster

why would a guy ask for a number straight away?

35 replies

NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:32

Hi,
Ive ventured onto POF recently and was messaged by a seemingly nice guy. When he replied he told me I seemed so nice, could we swap numbers straight away, he doesn't like messaging on POF.

I made an excuse not to, I am actually staying somewhere at the moment with really poor signal, so I said there was no point.

Anyway, he messaged a couple of times during the week and as I am coming back in the next couple of days, he suggested a coffee and asked for my number. I gave it and he send a message back about how I could trust him. So that instantly made me suspicious.

So I got my sister to message him from her profile and he messaged back straight away asking for her phone number and giving the exact same reasons.

What is this about? Im now regretting giving my number, it seems odd

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 08/04/2014 20:36

Perhaps he attached, so he's quickly going on POF and getting as many numbers as he can to use when he has to take his profile down before his other half sees it.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 08/04/2014 20:37

You need a POF phone wine A cheapo with a payg sim for weeding out potential weirdo's.

Its the 104th rule of OD Grin

Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:39

Haha both very good questions. Am I being paranoid or is it a bit weird?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:40

On all his other messages he has seemed nice, and his photo is pretty nice too

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:41

*answers

OP posts:
Lahti · 08/04/2014 20:45

He's multi dating. By having phone numbers instead of messaging through the site. It means people cannot check if he's been online.

Lahti · 08/04/2014 20:46

Aargh should have been , not .

Typing on phone.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 08/04/2014 20:47

It may or may not be weird tbh.

I never liked chatting on the site (I like to keep my online chats for MN ha) so would happily swap numbers early on.

Some people like to take it slow and chat first, others like to meet up soon and see if its worth pursuing iyswim.

I was always in the second group but don't think I'm a weirdo/stalker Grin

Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:47

oh ok that makes sense, when he is chatting, he talks a lot about how he's logging off now but will log back in later. so he clearly doesn't want to be seen as online

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 20:49

yeah i don't mind that concept at all thegirl it was just second message. and the first two were so short

OP posts:
Simplesusan · 08/04/2014 20:55

If you like the look of him you could arrange to meet,
Then get you sister to message him afterwards and see what he says to her. You might find out if he is serious about you then.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 08/04/2014 20:55

Of course he could be in group 3...

Seedy/cheating/generally unhinged/[insert whatever else here]

Its why you need a pof phone Grin

Simplesusan · 08/04/2014 20:56

Agree about being seen online. When I was using od, I often logged off if someone I didn't want to speak to for whatever reason, was on line.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 08/04/2014 20:56

Aah Susan that's unfair imo.

OD is a numbers game, I used to set up 2 or 3 dates in one go...its after a meeting or two that behaviour like you suggest needs addressing iyswim.

Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 21:14

well, while he is waiting for my sister to reply to him, he has just sent me a message saying that the app on his phone makes him look online when he isn't so if i were to message him and he didn't reply straight away, thats why.

so i kind of think he is setting up a game.

which is ridiculous because if you see someone online you are talking to, you don't get all shirty because they are online and therefore must be talking to other people.

he now seems weird to me

OP posts:
BeforeAndAfter · 08/04/2014 21:17

It's typically because they're communicating with multiple targets (and I use that term deliberately) and don't want to be seen to be on-line too often.

You have landed yourself a player... they're pretty prolific.

Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 21:21

Aha! A player - I had heard of them and was looking out for one but actually the guys I have been chatting to and met up with so far have all seemed really genuine, been lucky up until now I guess.

I'm glad I posted

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 21:48

also his headline is "vein, vidi, vici" which i've just looked up the definition of, including in the urban dictionary. can't believe i didn't do that before

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 08/04/2014 21:48

*veni

OP posts:
Lahti · 08/04/2014 21:51

Just googled that too. He's letting you know what his plans are.

Logg1e · 08/04/2014 22:19

Surely "vidi, vici, veni" would make more sense?

mummyOF4darlings · 08/04/2014 22:27

It could be like others have said hes trying to round up as manyt women as he can and doesnt want to be on the site much.

But also could just not like talking on there i know ive always prefered to add guys to msn, bbm occasionally fb if been talking to them for a while its not often ive given my number traight out tbh most have seemed happy with that.

Original poster
NoWineInTheFridge · 14/04/2014 09:58

Ok, so I got a text off this guy last night and he knew what I was up to by getting my sister to message him. It hasn't sent him running for the hills though, he just asked me why I did it.

I wasn't going to, but in the end replied with a curt message that I wasn't interested in being played. I told him his rush to get people off line is suspicious.

He is persisting though. He said that what I did was strange (which it was) but he can understand why because you get a lot of strange types on POF. He said he really liked my pictures, had thought we were getting on well and I seemed like a genuinely nice person (despite the trick) and he'd like to carry on talking.

Am I insane for even entertaining the thought of meeting up with him? He did seem to tick a lot of my boxes, but I saw a red flag when he said "you can trust me".

Why would a normal man even want to carry on talking to me after what I did anyway?

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 14/04/2014 10:08

Your initial reaction was to mistrust him, and I don't see that he's done anything that actually counters that.

Unless you are game for someone who wants to 'conquer' you, probably to prove a point in his own mind, then I think meeting up would be a bad idea.

EllaFitzgerald · 14/04/2014 10:09

I think if a person is at pains to point out how much they can be trusted, or how they never lie, or how genuine they are, it usually turns out that they are the opposite.

Listen to your instincts.