I have been with my H for nearly 20 years. We have 3 children, still all in primary school.
We argue only ever how he attempts to control me, doesn't like my friends, sulks if I dare to go out socially without him, checks up on me. I have deleted several social profiles as he would constantly monitor me on there and ask me later why I had said this etc and why had I chose that photo. You get the drift.
He confronted me the past few days as I dared to go out socially with a female friend without consulting him first, it was one of those random night outs that we hadn't planned. (usually the best nights) but he was waiting up for me when I got home.
We have been arguing ever since and he is still not backing down. He has told me I can't go out every weekend. Turns out April is full of birthdays and events but I have nothing planned for the next few months at all.
I don't neglect my children, my house is clean but he says that I am awful for wanting to have a few hours freedom for the house. He loves me and wants to spend every moment when he isn't at work with me. He is allowed hobbies but doesn't make any effort socially with friends tbh so I can see he thinks I am being unjustified having friends etc.
Friends that I have had to fight tooth and nail to keep I realised today... I just googled controlling husbands and every red flag is my husband.
But everyone thinks he is amazing, he works hard, loves the children to bits so what if he wants me to himself, its romantic right?
He is supporting my decision to give up a very small part time job I had so I can go back to college, which is great but I just realised I will have no money in my bank to call my own. We don't have a joint account, I have to ask for money if I want it.
I am torn, he has never raised a hand to me. He is destroyed when we argue. Acts like a hound dog and makes everyone feel sorry for him.
I have nothing, no job, no savings. If I hadn't just saw the red flags on those websites I wouldn't be questioning it so much. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to RL friends they think he is charming and just loves me so much. Thank you for reading this if you got this far.
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Is this an abusive relationship?
63 replies
Stupid100 · 07/04/2014 17:04
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