feel empty

[seasrblue7]

i have my children ,home, job and my health why the hell should i feel the way i do.
I am separated from children father which is ok we get along ok for sake of children.
i met another man which when i with him is great but never know when im going to see him again and its causing me to feel used.
i enjoy his company when together but never know when thats going to be he had couple of serious relationships.
im always there when he can fit me in just fed

Has he given you a reason for his unavailability? Is it something you can work with? If not, what's your next step?

no hes not with anyone he has given no reason my next step i dont know or have one

when we were out the other nite told me he didnt need sex so what am i to think to that

If you don't feel in control of your own life, it's miserable. If you're just some guy's booty call... without the booty ... it's a pretty shallow deal. So take control, decide to stop being used, give him the 'it's been nice knowing you' speech and kick him to the kerb.

i don't feel in control and feel like i am depending on him for my happiness and i am way too far down his list for him to give me some commitment he seems happy about it. Im not getting enough from this set up is it wrong for me to want little bit more not sex other meaningful things.

Then take control. My counsellor says many people are unhappy in their relationships because they don't communicate with each other. Tell him how you feel and if he can't cope with that then end it and put your efforts into finding someone that can give you what you want!

i like him don't want to be on my own. i know probably not a good enough reason. my sister asks me what support does he give me or does he put himself out for me no never.
He has never ask how my children are, I ask about his kids they are adults but always have the manners to ask.
i notice he does'nt make as much or any effort any more why?

He doesn't make the effort because he doesn't need to. There are no consequences to him treating you the way he does. He's realised you don't want to be on your own and he's happy to exploit that. You don't get someone's affection or respect by asking 'how high?' when they say 'jump'...

There are far worse things than being on your own.

"He doesn't make the effort because he doesn't need to. .....
There are far worse things than being on your own."

What Cognito said

yes you are rite.
so really he thinks nothing of me other than a shagg because thats what im beginning to see im a fb

You need to step back. You need to stop jumping every time he clicks his fingers.
He will either shape up and persue you or not. You will know.

ok thank you

How is your life apart from this - friends, work, family etc?

i work have some friends who are good family excellent have not told them the way hes behaving they would go mad be annoyed with me why im making the choice to see him
He can ask my mate how she is keeping give other people comments never said to me ever i was wearing a nice clothes or looked nice than can be hurtful i brush it aside

Do you feel you could tell this to a close friend for support ?

i could tell my sister but she does'nt live near me

I've cried most of last nite when I think how I let him treat me like this what a fool I've been to think he thought something of me

Sorry you're upset but dry your tears, remember how he has made you feel and tell him it's over. We all make mistakes in the quest for love and affection and no-one enjoys loneliness. So you're not a fool really. But when you know it's wrong, sticking with it and hoping for the best will only make you feel 'empty'. Get your self-respect back and you'll feel much better.

Good luck

Thank you
I know that deep down if he thought anything of me he wouldn't treat me this way but that is my fault because I let him do it didn't think enough about myself

Or you could look at it that you were getting something out of the arrangement that suited you & you enjoyed his company but now it's run its course and you're calling time. He's not treated you very well but if you end it now and give it some thought you will have learned something useful - about yourself, about others, about relationships - from the experience.

I enjoy his company but would only text me after a few hours in pub by himself then had quite a few then I would get the text always loads of time for others not me

So we've established he's a rotten boyfriend.... :) When/how are you going to dump him?

I don't know I wait till he texts then I can say otherwise he won't answer my fone call or text message so when he's texts me I know he's at the other end of the phone
Will need some help with this
Thanks

That sounds a little passive, if you don't mind my saying. This is an opportunity for personal development. You're in a relationship in which you are not in control. You have been waiting for the calls and for him to fit you in around his schedule. You're in danger of letting him dictate the dumping as well. :) So take control and be assertive.

Send him a text saying 'We need to talk urgently. Call me at '. When he calls back you tell him it's over. If he doesn't call back, you send another text saying 'We're finished'.

Then get on with your life without a backward glance

Ok I will text him