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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

feel empty

82 replies

seasrblue7 · 30/03/2014 15:19

i have my children ,home, job and my health why the hell should i feel the way i do.
I am separated from children father which is ok we get along ok for sake of children.
i met another man which when i with him is great but never know when im going to see him again and its causing me to feel used.
i enjoy his company when together but never know when thats going to be he had couple of serious relationships.
im always there when he can fit me in just fed

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/04/2014 09:56

Keep smelling the coffee. The next personal development step is to stop liking people that would use you, of course. :) They are not (or should not be) likeable.

BitOutOfPractice · 06/04/2014 10:22

Well done. Now send him a text saying "you seem to have purposely misunderstood me. So I will say it one more time. Our relationship is over. Do not contact me again. Ever. Goodbye"

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 06/04/2014 10:56

I never realise how good I would feel about me and it's a nice feeling

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 08/04/2014 19:49

i dont understand why i should be bothered but my mate texted me to let me know he was chatting up another girl in pub just wondered how and why am i letting this get to me.
He knows that we are mates

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 08/04/2014 22:35

CogitoErgoSometime
Just wondered how do I get away from people that is no good or positive for me thanks

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/04/2014 08:21

For true peace of mind I think you have to be ruthless and deliberately start pruning people out of your life. At the same time present a new, less tolerant you to the world, shake your routine up & develop your confidence. Then make new friends who respond to your confidence. The mate that texted you was shit-stirring.... no consideration for your feelings whatsoever. I hope you told him that you're not interested.

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 09/04/2014 10:42

Yes she couldn't wait to tell me and I've told him to leave me alone

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/04/2014 10:52

I thought the mate was a man, sorry. Did you tell the mate that you don't want to know anything about the ex?

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 09/04/2014 11:05

Yes I've said to her in don't want to know what's he up too yes she is shit stirring when I was with him she said she couldn't believed it was lasting this long

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 12/04/2014 20:37

My mates just said to me that he fancied the ass of her

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 12/04/2014 20:37

Why is she telling me this

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 12/04/2014 20:44

Can anyone tell me why

OP posts:
kalidanger · 12/04/2014 21:05

Beachside she's a cow. You're going to have to dump her too. Dump all the people you aren't nice to you Thanks

kalidanger · 12/04/2014 21:06

Because* not beachside!

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 12/04/2014 21:19

Sorry don't understand beachside

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BosieDufflecoat · 12/04/2014 21:42

She isn't being a very good friend to you. A real friend is someone who cares about you, not one who tries to wind you up and make you jealous. She's being extremely, extremely unkind. She knows what she's saying will hurt you, and she's doing it anyway.

Either politely let her know 'He's all yours. Good night' - and let that be your last message - or just ignore her. After this evening, I would just ignore her, from now on, if possible.

She's a classic example of the kind of person you need to stop making time for in your life. Stop worrying about these unkind people: don't give them space in your head, because they don't deserve it.

Make time for you, throw yourself into work, enjoy the love you share with your children, and I really hope you meet some kind human beings. x

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 09:54

I was going to say to him did he fancy my mate what do u think I would like to know one way or another

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 10:15

What would u do any advise please

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temporarilyjerry · 13/04/2014 10:26

I don't think you need to contact him again. Why would you care what he does? [shrug]

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/04/2014 12:27

Agree with the PP that you don't contact him again. He didn't treat you very well and that's where it starts and finishes. If he fancies your 'mate' it's no longer your concern but a mate that wants to put vinegar on fresh wounds is your concern. Deal with them separately.

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 12:32

That's what she said he fancied her I won't be contacting him that nite he was chattin to the woman she said he kept staring up and smiling at her she's told me this yesterday

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 12:33

Yes he has hurt me and by her words has hurt me too

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DIYapprentice · 13/04/2014 17:17

Wow, what a friend!

I'd be tempted to text her with 'Sorry, but I thought you were my friend? Why would a friend send these sort of texts?' and see what responses you get.

Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 17:31

I honestly don't know I always support her and try never to be negative about her relationship but she's never that way with me

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Original poster
seasrblue7 · 13/04/2014 17:35

Sometimes be nice if she said something positive to me never ever would say I had my hair coloured what I was wearing is nice for what reason I really don't know I'm not like that if someone looks good I say to them

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