The Dating Thread 72

[LizzieBelle]

Welcome

Mature, not everyone can be their all singing, all dancing self on a first date so I agree with others that he may be a grower. He might not be making you laugh yet, but if you are making him laugh then at least you probably share the same sense of humour.

Unless someone spends the whole date talking about their belly button fluff collection, then they are usually worth a second date to be sure.

Littlemouse lovely story and yes I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say!

Don't yes the book sounds great, reserve me a copy too!

Jarlin have a lovely night Friday, you could be just the tonic he needs

Scarey, don't give up on this....I was tempted so many times but glad I didn't now

Scarey....I mean the online dating not the douche bag!

Hormonal - I laughed at your last comment. Honestly if we all wrote down our OLD experiences (are you listening dontcallme?!) then we'd have a great book here.

I've been asked by a friend to go on that smell Speed Dating event - where you leave an item of clothes and it's pheromones that attract both of you. But I'm worried... suppose I get a minger... and even worse I bet men just bring their sweaty t-shirts!

Blimey Scarey, that does sound pretty genuine. How you feeling?

Men are definitely from another planet Scarey! This just confirms it! What u gonna do? Have you replied?

MrKids gone silent on me, have sent 5 text messages since last night n no reply he normally so responsive so god knows what's happening

I would be wary too Scarey. As much as I sympathise with him, you can't be putting up with this every 5 minutes

Hi Scarey, just delurking to say, just before my now boyfriend, I was "seeing" a guy who was exactly like this. We'd be full on for a bit, then I'd invite him to something/we'd make plans and he'd go totally off the radar and I'd get a message a few days/a week later that he'd had a fit/nervous breakdown/his Mum had, had a stroke/he was homeless etc etc (it was all bulls**t) and he was sorry he hadn't been honest with me but he needed a hug or to see "the one person that understood him"

IMHO It's all a load of rubbish and its a way to emotionally manipulate you. I think you should walk away now, and in time you will realise you have had a lucky escape. You're worth so much more and you deserve a good man who doesn't play game with your feelings. You will find him, I promise /

Scarey I'm really pleased he's been in touch and to think it's tonight you're supposed to be going over...

I'm also glad he's not responded to an apologetic text from you as he gets some credit for sending it of his own accord. It's a bit wallowing though... So I'm guessing you're planning to respond because you're a decent person who doesn't ignore texts!

What's your inclination? Are you going over tonight?

Been following the thread but have no dating news of my own, have hidden my dating profile as I was totally bored with the whole thing. Mr Bear was the last date I went on and due to him not being free we've yet to see each other again but he keeps in touch and we're planning for the weekend after next.

Scarey - The guy, if genuine, sounds mentally exhausted from that message. Is it a little OTT though for what only amounts to three days of no contact? Granted this was unusual for you to have that sort of gap so it might explain the outpouring in his message. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt but would also be wary that he may be a bit unstable / unpredictable due to this latest meltdown, pressures at work etc. Keep your eyes wide open though as this may be a signpost to trouble ahead.

Has he responded to you Scarey?

Scarey Hmm, I think you're right to be very wary tbh. That message is full of angst, melodrama and is all 'me, me, me'. I'd also be concerned that he suddenly messaged you on the day that you're meant to be meeting up - it's all a bit too 'convenient' for me . I agree somewhat with WickedWitch and although I'm willing to be proved wrong (and hope I am) I'd be concerned that his sudden reappearance is all a bit too overly-dramatic and manipulative, and is just designed to make you so grateful to hear from him again that you'll forgive his shitty behaviour. We all have pressures to deal with in life but the majority of us don't behave like he has. Just look out for number one (that's you!) - you are the most important person here. If you see him tonight, I'd get him to talk through it all and make sure he knows you won't stand for it again - don't let him brush it under the carpet.

By the way, I love your career path. I work in a similar field (marketing/advertising but not digital) and would love to make the jump to self employment but it's so scary doing it! I'd be terrified I wouldn't make any money and we'd starve, clients would hate me, I'd never get any work etc. Could I PM you about it, please, if you don't mind? Btw, I agree with the bit about working for arseholes .

Hormonal What is it with these men going silent? Don't send him any more texts, five is more than enough and he knows how to contact you.

Mature Definitely see what happens - maybe meet again and see how you feel then?

No news from me, apart from the fact that today I'm in the foulest mood imaginable and feel so moody and pissed off. Think it's because I'm just realising that neither MCS or Mr Teacher actually give a shiny shit about me but both want to keep me on the back burner just in case. Fuckers. .

Scarey I had an exact similar relationship with City Lad (you may have seen me mention this here - only he didn't mention breakdowns.

I would run, run, run far away from this type of person. He'll only entangle you into this web and there is no need for no contact like this (which City Lad did but was a characteristic of his anyway, like the Scarlet Pimpernel).

You've heard enough from others here to hear more of my advice! All this cute name stuff too - in my experience with this sort of man it only acts to draw you in, make you feel sorry for them etc. Only you can decide if you want this or not.

Glad he made contact, Scarey - but yes, just take care and be cautious. At least you got an explanation in the end.

I have 4 dates lined up. First one is tomorrow! Feel exhausted just thinking about it, but more material for the book. I do want other people's stories too.

I do think we tend to expect people to treat us as we would treat others and because we're all so bloody lovely on here those poor blokes don't have much of a chance of coming up to our standards, do they?!

Good luck tonight Scarey. Try not to melt too much when he looks at you with those hound dog eyes and jutting lip but it's not easy is it?

Make sure you take his bike gear back too. Also, would you consider giving his key back and saying that the last few days have made you think you've gone too fast and you're worried he'll do that to you again so here's your key for now. Next time you give it to me make sure it means something and that we're a proper partnership (total brain dump idea there, no idea if that's a good plan or not).

Scarey Thank you, I'll pm you tonight if that's ok, as I'm currently at work. Thanks for the cake! I'm actually considering getting some chocolate from the canteen but think I'll regret it later.

I think it's a good idea of Before's to take his stuff back and say not to give you the key back until it's more settled. It'll make him aware that you've been thinking things through and aren't prepared just to accept his crappy behaviour.

Dont Four dates! Where are you finding them all? I can't even get one date .

Well I've had a message from Mr Sales saying he's coming off POF for a while as he's had some dodgy messages and is getting fed up of it but if I want to keep in contact and meet up, to get in touch, and he's sent me his number. Now this annoys me for two reasons. Firstly because I don't want to be the one to text/call him, I want him to call me, and secondly, well I'm not sure, it just seems a bit abrupt to come off just like that. Or is it just me?

What old you do? He's still on there atm because I can see his messages. Should I text him first (as I said, not ideal), or shall I send him a message with my mobile number?

That depends Soft, are you still in "the foulest mood imaginable and feel so moody and pissed off?"

Might want to calm down and relax a bit first before messaging him.

Ha ha, no I've cheered up a bit since getting home from work .