The Dating Thread 72

[LizzieBelle]

Welcome

I told him that mumsnet thought he was a controlling manipulative abuser.

Hi all,

Update from me, I called it a day with the guy who was lukewarm at best about my DD. He was a nice guy but admitted he wasn't looking for a relationship so we stopped things v amicably.

I went on 2, yes 2, dates yesterday! First was a lunch and went really well, we talked about meeting up again but haven't heard from him since.... He was going straight to a friends for the weekend but have decided am not going to chase him so we'll see.

Second date was dire. He was really nice but no attraction and just droned on. Had made the mistake of agreeing to dinner so it went on for a while. Win some, you lose some!

Dont, sorry you're feeling down, it is really hard getting over these things. I still think about Mr S a lot but the good date helped yesterday. The bad date would have made things worse so maybe persevere when you're feeling a bit more ready?

Jesy, sounds like you're a little bit more positive, the exercise might help a bit.

Just been crying uncontrollably at sainsburys as a song came on we danced to a couple weeks ago

SoftKittyWarmKitty mcs still texting? what is t with some men? seems some of them just like collecting women they can then call up at some later date.

Jesy I'm so sorry to hear your news, it all sounded so good. It is his loss. I know others have said that staying friends is not the best thing, but sometimes men get carried away with their own emotions, can't cope, retreat to their man cave and then come round. They panic if they start to feel too much, just keep things, friendly, light and ensure he realises that you are getting on with your life. I think t is possible to stay friends, I am friends with all three of my longterm BFs now exBFs.

Dont having read about Geeky all through the recent threads, I can't help but think this man knows how to make women fall for him. All the romance, intensity and eye gazing, all the upfront emotion and tears, he made you fall for him. He's obviously good at what he does and all that great stuff that made you love him is as much manipulation as the "can't cope with ex, can't cope with kids, don't wear this, that or the other" right down to the splitting up with you whilst still telling you he loves you etc,. Its all designed to hook you and keep you hooked while he goes on his merry way. Its a classic narc scenario. Take care of yourself, it will get better.

My update, well nothing much to report. Mr contradiction as unreadable as ever and now saying he wants to spend the day out together next week, despite the fact that he said last week "you are unobtainable and well just do sex" so friends with benefits now spend the day together! I am aloof and self-contained and I don't do "talking emotional stuff" according to him women want commitment fast, talk about the future and fall head over heels I don't so now I am unobtainable. Asks if we will fall in love then says we can meet up for years like this....erm no we can't.

Speaking non-stop to Mr DownToEarth, he is cute. Three hours on the phone, constant messages and we plan to meet up. He is better relationship material but further away. And sooo much more straight forward.

jesy and dont It is crappy, but I'm sure someone better is around the corner for all of us!

I'm chatting to someone who it turns out I have lots of mutual friends with. Ill nickname him MrConductor (three guesses on what he does for a living?) I was out with a friend last night who knows him reasonably well and she thinks we would be good together and has verified that he is not a dick. Which is good!

I do want to stay friends with him.
I stayed friends with my first ex never actually thought I co u ldof trust him till Thursday .

I don't know whats wrong with me today. I feel in a really down mood.

Fed up with Life, bored, peed off with ex and to top it all as no text from mr Italian then I've clearly been dumped.
I've looked on pof and tinder and I don't think I like any of them. There seems a lack of any nice men over 35. I'm never going to be with anyone.

I'm feeling peed off and sorry for myself

That sounds like the perfect relationship to me, Scarey

Read this guys:

Decide that you are not playing "the dating game". Soulmates don't wait 3 days before calling after a first date. Soulmates don't "play hard to get" or pretend they care less about their partner than they actually do, even in the very beginning of the relationship. Soulmates aren't afraid to "look desperate" in front of each other by making a move, and they certainly aren't reserved about how they feel about each other (whether they verbalize it or not). Soulmates' main desire is to just BE with each other, and they are not concerned with what everyone else thinks, and much less how they should act at a certain point in the relationship. They just do what feels right.

Where did you read that Hormonal? Pretty much sums it up, really.

Well I'm all loved up Softkitty (who I met on pof) and came across it and thought yes very true

I don't get it. I'm pretty, clever and fun. I can't find the right one. Is it impossible with three kids?

"Ill nickname him MrConductor (three guesses on what he does for a living?)"

Does he work On The Buses?

Am I allowed to nip in here - I have no idea of "the rules", am a newbie to MN and dating so hope this isn't an intrusion. This is my first post so felt a bit much starting my own thread. Quick background - single again after a 9 year rubbish relationship (honest I hardly have noticed he's gone) neither have my 3 DS's.

I have been admiring someone from afar for a while now. I'm ok in a group situation but the thing is I turn into 'Miranda' each time he pays me the slightest bit of attention and I end up saying something completely stupid or freeze. Come to think of it this is historically the way I have carried on with anyone I have felt a spark with. I think I can safely say I've got no chance now with afore mentioned fellow but I really want do the whole dating thing at some point. I feel so immature and lacking in confidence. On the outside I am a confident person with a very outgoing job.

How did you all cope with the beginnings of things, introductions and what on earth are the rules? And does everyone do OD now. what on earth are ' I've tried online (made an account on POF/Tinder, and browsed)but I feel like its a minefield. Also as you can see I'm dealing with occasional insomnia however my unintentional single diet is going fabulously.

Scarey,the soldier I had 3 dates with and who said all the right things,is playing the ignoring texts game now too,well I'd sent 3,2 kinda jokey ones I used to send him,then one last one.It's so frustrating knowing they've seen them too,I really don't get it,it's hurtful and nasty.Why not just say I'm not interested??hope everyone else is doing ok.

I've managed to go a whole week without feeling the need to end things.

He said a few things that belie how he feels or at least how he wants me to believe he feels and he's meeting some more of my friends this week.

He's told me about the friends he's planned for me to meet (these are his oldest and dearest friends he's had since his childhood/youth) when we go away. There were more than I thought! I confessed that I'd been really nervous about meeting his friends the other week and he said I should have said something. I said it was fine and I'd liked them, but I had been a bit nervous. He said that we don't have to meet up with his friends at all when we are away if I didn't want to. He wants us to meet, but not if I am uncomfortable with it. I said I want to meet them and it's fine. He said he's pleased but that if I change my mind when we get there, it's fine.

WTF?!

MadeMan I thought that! I shall be most jealous if he's an orchestral conductor!!

dont If I were you, I'd take the focus off finding the right one for a relationship, and just have fun chatting, meeting and dating. If it turns into something else, then great. It just takes the pressure off a bit.

Tuesday evening so I've given up now,unless he has a very good excuse which I doubt very much.
He is away at camp just now and we were supposed to be seeing each other at the weekend,but that's not looking likely now.

We still talking so I guess that something might see him in week