This is bastarding shit.

[sillymillyb]

I didn't know where to put this, as it doesn't really belong here or anywhere.

I am so fucking fed up. My wonderful little boy is 2 tomorrow and I'm trying to decorate the flat for him with balloons and banners. There is literally just me and him. There is no one else. I've just texted my sister in law and said seeing as she hasn't even responded to my text I assume she won't be coming to my sons birthday tea tomorrow. She was the only one invited (with my nephews) so there will be just the 2 of us as usual. She cares so little she couldn't even be arsed to text to say she wasn't coming.

My poor son deserves so much, and instead there's just me and him and stupid multi pack of party cups that will do for 10.

I'm so sick of doing everything and having no one. I'm so tired of being alone and letting ds down. I don't know how much more I can take, my son deserves a better life than the one I'm giving him. I just can't do this anymore, and I know I have to, but I can't. It's shit.

I'm sure he'll love the decorations, that's my 2 year-old's favourite thing about birthdays. Do you have any friends from playground you could meet up with next week? Even if you don't know them very well, kids this age love a little party so much that I think people will come.

The most important thing you can do for a child is give them a secure base, so they know they are loved and cared for. In the grand scheme of child rearing, your will to give your son a good life will far outweigh anything else.
I agree, it will get easier soon, as he gets older and can go to playgroup/preschool. I know you're having a hard time now, but i'm sure you'll have lots of fun with him tomorrow and tomorrow night you'll be thinking how lucky you are to have each other.

At his age, you are his world, there is probably nothing he will enjoy more than a party wth just good old mum! In the longer term, perhaps you can find people to socialise with, who also have young children?
I really hope you both manage to have a lovely day tomorrow.

Next year will be different, and the year after that you will have a class full to invite! Enjoy tomorrow having him all to yourself, and i wish your son a happy birthday :)

You're fiercely protective of wee boy,that's brilliant don't lose that
He'll love mum time,anything will be brill dp long as it's you and him
There is no just about you.be clear about that

Honestly, once he starts school he will have loads of friends to invite to parties. He's only 2 and he will love his birthday with you the way that you've done it. Don't be so hard on yourself :-)

How are you letting him down? You're messing about with balloons and going to get up, have a lovely breakfast and zoom off to a farm!

He will be thrilled to have your undivided attention:) and you will have his ( apart from the animals)

Relax, carry on teaching him how to have fun and congratulate yourself you don't have some grumpy bloke secretly wanting your attention and spoiling it. I see lots of couples with dc out at these family places, and whilst some are happy, some are not. My dc are used to it being just me, and although I feel sad they don't get that mum and dad and dc having an amazing experience day, they don't notice or perhaps they never say anything. I don't know. I do know though that we have fun and love each other very much.

Do you keep a diary for him? Maybe with photos? So you and he can look back and laugh over the year, and he has them when he's older? Because having no one to share it with hurts me, so I write down all the stuff that is funny/ important to us and we get it out on rainy days. They love reading about the day dd pooed in the bath:) I can see the fight over the book when they leave home:)))

I will send your ds a card too if you pm me

I'm sorry, I'm reading all your replies. I don't know what to say though! I feel so bloody drained. Im being shit! I know I just need to man up and it will all be ok tomorrow. I'm struggling at the moment anyway, I think this has just emphasised it.

Northern I think that's exactly it, I love ds so much, I want others to see how wonderful he is. He's so special, he deserves people to love him.

My mum and I had a fight earlier and she has just texted to say she will bring ds present over now. I am stupidly grateful but I've been needy and asked her to come in cos I need a cuddle. She hasn't replied. It's all just so bloody messy!

Ok. I'm sorry. I feel like I need to perk myself up cos your all being so lovely to me and I'm sat here in a flumph just crying. I'm going to wrap ds presents now and give myself a kick up the bum! Thank you for responding, I know I'm not articulating this very well but I'm grateful

Lavender the diary is a lovely idea. I wish I had done that with dd1.

I don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted to say that it WILL get better - I've been there (twice!).

Your little boy is lucky to have a mum who cares so much, i'm sure he will have a lovely birthday! It might not be how you'd hoped but your son has no expectations at all - stick a smile on your face & lavish him with attention, that'll be fine for him (balloons & pressies are a bonus!). Chin up, you can do it (bollocks to your sister-in-law, btw) x

I remember when I had my ds my friend said to me she was always wanting it to be more than just her and her daughter didn't feal like a family to her wasn't big enough but then as her dd got older she realised she was enough and it was enough just those too I remembered that when I feal down and that I'm not enough I really really am. Even better now my ds s 10 and he tells me all the time how great I am happy birthday to your little one you are enough and it will be a fantastic day enjoy the day !

I'm sure your ds will have a fab day with you tomorrow. He's a very lucky little boy.
Have you looked into applying for 2 year old nursery funding for him? You say you're not working so would probably qualify. He would be eligible after easter. It would give you the chance to find a few hours work and for him to make some friends.

Maybe you could meet up with other m u ms from here in your area who are in the same boat x

I can identify totally.. I'm a LP with dd 10 & ds 2yrs .. I live far away from any family & consider it to be me & dc's against the world sometimes makes me sad & sometimes gives me strength to get on with it!! The upside is no one else to please but myself!!
Ds recently 2 so I decided to take the 2 of them into town for some lunch when we got there a funfair was on & rides were on special offer of £1 each so we ended up having a fab day!!

It won't matter to your ds who is with him on his bd as long as his mummy is there x

Where are you OP? You know there are probably tons of mumsnetters in your area who would love a slice of birthday cake and a playdate. I've been thinking about posting in my mumsnet local because I've lived in this area for a year now but still haven't met any local parents.

Farm sounds like my dream birthday too, have a great day with your lovely son - you are the most important person in the world to him.

" I just feel sad that I can't even magic up one card that's not from bloody me."

I wish you had posted this yesterday. I would have put a card in the post for him and I am sure lots of other posters would have done too

.

This will sound nuts! I had just returned to the UK with my DS when he was about to turn 2. I literally knew no one in my area!

I took some biscuits to park with some squash (with some party cups!) and decorated his pushchair with balloons. (On his birthday obviously!)

He had a great time running around and we made some friends. No child can resist inspecting balloons, badges etc and no parent will refuse their child a biscuit if offered. It wasn't instant friendships but chatting to the parents I found out about some local events etc. opened up many doors and at 2 he will just remember the day and not it being an official party etc.

You sound a great mum. I totally understand the loneliness but can assure you it gets better.

OP, you are doing very, very well.

I too was an only child to line parent and I cannot remember ever feeling disappointed or let down when celebrating my birthday with my mum. And I mean, ever, not even a young adult.

Reading your post, I realise how she must have felt, but I was as happy as can be. And I am sure your little one is feeling the same.

youarewinning - that sounds amazing. We went to the garden centre today and dd and another little girl were sort of 'courting' each other - trying to be subtle but gradually edging towards one another wanting to be brave but a little shy. it was so sweet. I love how children just sort themselves out with a social life if given the opportunity.

A very happy birthday to your little boy. My DS turned two on Monday!
The farm sounds perfect.
My DS had no idea it was his birthday - he replied "six" when I asked how old he was and was most distressed when his balloon flew away.

Sending you and your nearly-two-year-old big hugs!

Peppapigmustdie, it's never too late for a memories book:)

Happy Birthday to your son!

I am a lone parent too, to a 2 year old (nearly 3). I relate to everything you say about feeling drained and wanting better for your son. It hurts, doesn't it.

Having some decorations up and a bit of cake is enough to make the day special though. You sound like a lovely mum going through a really tough time on your own,

big positive vibes to you....

I'm just going to bed but I wanted to say thank you again. I will read this again and reply properly tomorrow, I'm think I need my bed now and to forget about this evening.

My mums just been and wouldn't even come to the door and sent one of her foster kids instead. I don't know what I expected really.

Anyway. My living room looks like a sparkly balloon factory has exploded in it. There is Thomas tank wrapping paper everywhere, and we have chocolate croissants for breakfast. Tomorrow WILL be awesome. It will.

I'm very grateful for all your words and experiences and offers of cards for my son. I know I have to keep going, I hope it really will get better with time. Thank you x

Ive been there and its bloody hard, BUT your ds doesn't know any different so paint on a big smile and give him a lovely day knowing next year will be different as there will be nursery and little friends by then.
I remember one Christmas eve sitting by myself thinking ds would be better off adopted, so I do know how you feel.
ps he's 9 now and a happy and very busy boy with lots going on, so it does get better.