NC sorry (though to a previous NC NN, god knows what I used it for before but can prob take a lucky guess!)
DH have been together 9yrs, married 7, 2DC aged 5&2. Generally we rub along fine, we were actually going through a fairly easy and nice phase. We don't have sex as much as he'd like (I'd be happy to be celibate frankly) but have a compromise and it's about twice a week.
DH has been sick the last week, just a flu but it has laid him pretty low. I normally don't have much patience for man flu but actually this time he looked rough as anything so I've done all I can to allow him to just rest. He's camped out in the spare room to prevent either of us having disturbed nights from each other, but because of young DC I'm more or less leaving him to it. I'm making him smoothies and offering food, making it when he wants some, bring him his drugs etc but I'm focussing on doing everything else, keeping on top of house and home. I'm a SAHM so it's nothing new but initially did make me realise he does pick up a fair amount of slack - but now of course I am literally doing everything bar maybe the odd bedtime story.
The last few days it's dawned on me that my life has somehow become easier....the house has stayed relatively clean and tidy, all admin is being done on time, kids are fed and happy - they and I are actually getting on really well (youngest doesn't sleep well so my sleep deprivation does turn me into an intolerant snappy mum a lot). It's awful but it's been a lot easier without DH around (in his disgusting room which is floor to ceiling in snotty tissues and empty packets of food - it smells like something died in there). DH periodically shows his face to rub up against me and make it clear he's too sick for anything else but wants a rogering. And it just pisses me off.
I don't actually mind managing on my own - in fact it's dawned on me that it's all easier because I'm not relying on someone else, at all.
I'm not going to LTB, there's no point in breaking up a half decent marriage and upsetting DC over this, but I think I probably do need to say something, once he's well, don't I? At the moment I just don't see what value he's adding aside from the financial side. Jesus I feel like a bitch (should say I currently can't work, would bloody love to be working) because he does work etc etc but frankly I'm surprised at just how much easier this is without his input on any level.
bugger. How do you even start having this conversation - he's a defensive old bastard when he wants to be, I can't think of a way of not making it sound deeply personal.