No sex - ever! Our relationship is doomed??

[sexissues]

Dp and i havent had sex for over 18months - nothing at all not even close, its my fault as he wants it - badly but i reject him, the problem is i dont fancy him in that way at all! i have always thought it was me that was the problem, and have spent many times getting upset wondering what the hell my probelm was, dp even asked me to consider the option that i may be living with the wrong sex and maybe i dont 'do men' but i know thats not the case!
Dp is tall and really quite thin, and he is a really good looking bloke but he has an office job and does very little if any excercise, he is pale and he just doesnt turn me on, infact alot of the time he has the opposite effect and i cant bring myself to pretend! i love him and i hate that he feels so rejected by me, but im so stuck, i knocked on a friends door the other day to drop something off and he answered the door without his top on and i nearly fell over myself! i have never seen him without his top on before and i cant get over my feelings about it (not him!!) i had this mad stupid grin on me for ages - he looked so fit, i have thought for so long that maybe dp is right and i am some kind of sexual misfit, and they missed me when they were handing out libido, but now i disagree not just because of this guy, but for lots of reasons, i just cant bring myself to tell dp i dont want sex with him because he doesnt turn me on ! does this mean our relationship is doomed to die

Maybe he needs to up his dose of AD's? (Aside from everything else he needs to do of course).

Having just read all through the latest threads on this I really think there is only one answer and that's kick him out. He sounds a complete bastard. If he's got no respect for himself (ie hygiene etc) then he's hardly going to have much respect for anyone else is he? He sounds a right lazy slob and I most definitely would not put up with him, despite being married to him and three kids with him - so what? Whats this doing to the kids? They have ears y'know and they can sense every single moment of unhappiness in their parents lives and it can cause major damage to one child let alone 3. I'm sorry but surely to christ you want to enjoy your life - after all we only get one shot at it.

Hi sexissues, was wondering what you decided to do ? (It's Norah here btw !)

Hiya sorry - never got chance to get back on here last night, as far as knowing what im going to do, or trying to decide, im still stuck, i gave it alot of thought last night (had a nice long bath and early night) and i realised that even if he was to get a grip and clean himself up - in every way! im really not sure that i would still fancy any kind of sexual interaction with him, the thought just totally turns me off! so why the hell dont i just call it a day and end it? why does the thought of that frighten the crap out of me? We are supposed to be moving away next year and trying to provide a better life for the kids - i suppose in some desperate way im kinda hoping, that it will be 'just what we need' (not sure im convincing myself entirely though )

Hey hang on a minute. You don't have to fancy any sexual interaction with him to stay with him. There are loads of couples who don't have sex but can still be happy. I don't think you can expect any bloke to suddenly change his ways, sort himself out and for you and him to start having a wild sex life again! I think that if you can persuade him to clean himself up and do more around the house rather than sit on his backside in front of the tv then that'd be a start. If he can't even be bothered to make an effort then you need to think about considering whether or not you carry on with your relationship. Yes, of course, splitting up will scare the crap out of you - it would anybody especially as you've got children to think about. BUT you shouldn't stay with him just for the sake of it. You've got to be happy too and if you're not then its up to you to make the difference.

Like I've said before life is too damn short to be unhappy. You never know when your time is up and you only get one go at life. Make the most of it. If you don't you'll be the one missing out, big time. xxx