Deep breath - worst date I have ever been on!

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I always smile at threads where recount terrible dates, but secretly I always think "how could they have not known he was going to be a wrongun?!" Well, I have just had my comeuppance.

Waited in agreed pub for my date - he didn't show. He came in fifteen minutes late and was quite funny with me for not waiting outside. I'd sent him a text saying precisely where I was sitting but he claimed he didn't get it. Said I should have waited outside so he could have "walked me in." I was already contemplating doing a runner by this point but thought best to stay and give it a try.

Well I have never encountered such a dismal, negative, woe is me attitude in my life. I knew he didn't drive but it also emerges he lives with his mum at age 34 and doesn't work. Gets his money by giving a couple of music lessons a week. He kept talking about getting a job "that suits him."
He asked me a few questions but interrupted my answers straight away with his own anecdotes. He kept kind of giving me weird insulting compliments. "You're not a stupid girl by any stretch of the imagination" being my favourite. Sneered at me for going to bed early and also for not owning my house. (Fucking rich!)

He ordered a huge Sunday meal, even though we'd agreed to a coffee and me, being FUCKING useless, stuck around instead of buggering off because I thought it'd be mean to leave him eating alone.
At the end, I just had to make a quick exit. He announced "I must admit, I'd really like to try your home cooking sometime soon. But it'd be quite a trek to get to yours from mine so you'd have to pick me up if that's ok?"

Finally, to complete the humiliation, on the pavement outside, I knew I he was going to go in for a kiss so I took a step back and he caught my arm and tried to pull me closer to him! I just said a firm "bye" and blundered off feeling a bit shocked.

I really wouldn't have posted this to laugh at someone who was a bit shy or I just didn't feel compatible with, but the rudeness really bloody irritated me.
On the plus side, I stopped off on way home for emergency alcohol and won twenty quid on a scratch card! Aaaaand deep breath!

[tightfortime]

My mum worked in a school years ago and kept wanting me to meet one of the teachers she thought was fab, so gentlemanly and cute too.

So I did...cute, yes, very.

But he was late, tight to get his round in and boring as hell despite me putting my best effort in (for I did not want the mother to say otherwise when he reported back)

He walks me home, polite cheek kiss, asks can he use loo, call a cab. In the days before we all had mobiles... Spidey senses knew what he was up to but flat mate was home so, grand.

No cabs, can I stay. Sigh. On the couch.

Slept with one eye open having woken and warned the flat mate.

Woke up to find he's pissed himself all over the couch. Kicked him out and no, I won't meet you again...

He told my mum later at work I was lovely, he'd had great night and gone home early.

I soon put her right and she couldn't look at him for a year, no matter how polite he was lol....

[LeadingToGadeBank]

I didn't find that funny at all. I have zero intuition about people, but reading that freaked me out a bit, don't know why.

[LadyPenny]

Think my worst was the very tall and gorgeous sailor who asked me out at a club. I was19 and still living at home. He arrived to pick me up and was terribly charming to my mum.
I popped upstairs to get my bag and on returning found him showing my mum the newspaper clipping he carried around in his wallet. It was a picture of his perfect woman in a massive meringue wedding dress that really seemed a bit too weird for me and I legged it out the back door.
Mum said he waited half an hour for me to return before she kindly sent him on his way.

[HelloBoys]

I've got another one - lecturer I met on holiday abroad - seemed nice so we swapped numbers and he arranged a date when we got home. went to Covent Garden restaurant and I asked the usual stuff 'Do you drive? what car? where do you live?' etc - after me asking this and the normal stuff he suddenly spat 'Why are you asking me these questions? You're probably after my money'. He expected me to stay but I ran out of the restaurant and got the tube home (SE London, 30 mins bus ride from a tube...) - had not long got in the door when my flatmate answered it - he'd only driven home from the restaurant (probably breakneck speed) and wanted to see me - flatmate wisely told him to do one.

Another not date but introduction I suppose... was in pub locally with brother and friends. At bar getting drinks in, man approaches me. starts talking. Says he's seen me on X train to London Bridge every morning (named time), said he's seen me putting on my lipstick in morning on train, THEN (this was the killer) he detailed the bus I caught when I changed at London Bridge and 'Did I want to go out with him?'

Ok the above may have been a chat up line, but why not talk to me on train etc - and how so detailed about my movements. I crawled back to my table muttering 'I've got a bloody stalker' and thank god he didn't come after me. eeek

[smoothieooo]

I had one recently which started off fairly well - my date (from POF) met me in the car park of a local pub but after some initial, fairly innocuous chit chat came an outpouring of less than flattering corkers about himself:

• his ex-wife had just taken out a restraining order on him (and had moved to Norfolk from London to get away with their DC)
  

• he had walked out on his job the previous week as his boss was a "wanker"
  

• he was completely undomesticated and kept shrinking clothes in the tumble dryer - which he used constantly because he'd fiddled his meter and if I liked, he would come and fiddle mine
  

• he had 9 points on his licence and had just been caught speeding again but had persuaded a friend to take the rap. When I asked "you mean you did a Chris Huhne?" he had no idea what I was talking about.
  

I'm sure it was just nerves but it was definitely a bit

[Passionfruitpavlova]

I've had a few yicky dates in the past, but recently met someone on eharmony (it was going to be my VERY LAST ATTEMPT AT ONLINE DATING - EVER - I'm 51) who has turned out to be THE MOST wonderful man! Online dating isn't all awful and I admit I think I've been lucky. It was my first date from my FIRST DAY on the site and he's worth every penny of the £99 I spent on a year's (I wasn't feeling very optimistic obviously!) subscription :). There are a few gems amongst the crud!

[LoisPuddingLane]

He sounds a keeper, smoothie...

[blowsygirl]

I had a date who complained bitterly that his ex had left him without notice and HAD NOT EVEN BOTHERED TO PUSH THE HOOVER ROUND THE FLAT BEFORE SHE WENT! Most upset about it he was

[Loveyouthree]

Oh! This has reminded me of the time a guy I met came round to mine and my heart sunk because I'd remembered him wrong and he wasn't attractive in the slightest. I thought I'd give him a chance though, and he proceeded to tell me that in his late teens he'd been sent to prison for "blowing up a kebab shop while drunk and angry at the owner"

Nice! He then went on about how we probably wouldn't work out long term because we lived four hours apart. Shame...

[MsMarple]

Oh dear, I've kissed a lot of frogs along the way, but the one that springs to mind was a Scottish guy I met at a gig. We arranged to meet for a drink after work - he was half an hour late, but should perhaps have stayed away as he managed to bring every single conversation round to how much he hated England, and the English. Never mind that I am English, and we were in London, where he had presumably chosen to live and work. Then he seemed surprised that I didn't want to go on somewhere after. Even weirder was that he phoned me a week later asking for another date. Maybe he got my number mixed up with someone of a less objectionable nationality?

[WanderingStar1]

Love these stories! I got married before OD but had a blind date once with the neighbour of the mum of my best friend, she insisted he was really lovely and we'd be ideally suited. Unfortunately he was the ugliest man I've ever met, with a face like a skull, but I didn't want to be judgemental so tried to keep an open mind when we met for a drink. He was grim, but when he asked for a second date I didn't like to refuse because he would think it was down to his looks, so muggins here said yes, and let him pick me up! But he was so miserable and so hung up on the fact that his wife had left him, and went on about her and how he wished her ill etc that I really decided I couldn't be kind any longer. Unfortunately, when he took me home (and before I'd told him) I realised I'd locked my key in the house, so he had to take me to my friend's house across town to wake her up and get my spare, and he kept saying, 'this is so much fun, you can be the entertainments manager for our relationship going forwards ho ho....!!! Aargh! No more blind dates ever again.......!!

[TalkingintheDark]

blowsygirl PMSL! Poor, poor man

[picklepen]

Pavlova
I found my DH on eH, am typing this with our DS on my lap... Though I will be dining out on some of the nuttier ones I came across at the same time!