I always smile at threads where recount terrible dates, but secretly I always think "how could they have not known he was going to be a wrongun?!" Well, I have just had my comeuppance.
Waited in agreed pub for my date - he didn't show. He came in fifteen minutes late and was quite funny with me for not waiting outside. I'd sent him a text saying precisely where I was sitting but he claimed he didn't get it. Said I should have waited outside so he could have "walked me in." I was already contemplating doing a runner by this point but thought best to stay and give it a try.
Well I have never encountered such a dismal, negative, woe is me attitude in my life. I knew he didn't drive but it also emerges he lives with his mum at age 34 and doesn't work. Gets his money by giving a couple of music lessons a week. He kept talking about getting a job "that suits him."
He asked me a few questions but interrupted my answers straight away with his own anecdotes. He kept kind of giving me weird insulting compliments. "You're not a stupid girl by any stretch of the imagination" being my favourite. Sneered at me for going to bed early and also for not owning my house. (Fucking rich!)
He ordered a huge Sunday meal, even though we'd agreed to a coffee and me, being FUCKING useless, stuck around instead of buggering off because I thought it'd be mean to leave him eating alone.
At the end, I just had to make a quick exit. He announced "I must admit, I'd really like to try your home cooking sometime soon. But it'd be quite a trek to get to yours from mine so you'd have to pick me up if that's ok?"
Finally, to complete the humiliation, on the pavement outside, I knew I he was going to go in for a kiss so I took a step back and he caught my arm and tried to pull me closer to him! I just said a firm "bye" and blundered off feeling a bit shocked.
I really wouldn't have posted this to laugh at someone who was a bit shy or I just didn't feel compatible with, but the rudeness really bloody irritated me.
On the plus side, I stopped off on way home for emergency alcohol and won twenty quid on a scratch card! Aaaaand deep breath!
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Relationships
Deep breath - worst date I have ever been on!
JonSnowKnowsNothing · 02/03/2014 16:11
The last date I went on was the worst I've ever been on. It was a few years ago (seriously), I met him in a cafe. He wasn't drunk but divulged far too many details, mainly how his ex girlfriend had trapped him by getting herself pregnant, then he told me all about his other ex girlfriends and the time he lost his virginity. He was 15, she was 45 (think Mrs Robinson) and how he'd somehow managed to put his whole hand up her... ! 
I made my excuses and left, this was enough.
Some people are single for a reason, men like this really do exist.
A friend of mine does a lot of online dating and some of her stories would make your hair curl (I have no stories of my own, boring married here). I think the best one was a bloke who seemed normal on the first date, then on the second, where they'd arranged to go to a local restaurant, cycled to her house from the other side of London (on a hot summer day), said 'you don't mind if I change before we go out, do you, I'm sweating like a pig' and proceeded to strip off his lycra without waiting for her to say yes 
He then saw her cat and said 'ooh, you've got a cat! My last girlfriend had a cat, it used to climb in bed and lick my balls - those raspy tongues really do the business!' 
She threw him out, much to his indignation....
I probably have had a bad one (or 2) but my last boyfriend well when I met him 2nd date I just knew - I didn't really fancy him not my dress sense etc for a man (gosh that sounds shallow!) 
Anyway we went to the bar I knew for a drink - I walked him the long way round I was sort of thinking how could I get out of it? But didn't. Then when we were in the bar (quite trendy) I kept on looking at him, his bum, legs etc and thinking "nope". I actually was trying to think of how to run out of there but didn't. Then we sat awkwardly on 2 chairs until another couple moved. By the point I was pissed, he tried to kiss me but I wouldn't let him do it properly. I ended up dating him for 3 months though.
I know now if my spidey senses are telling me to run then I pick up my heels and DO JUST THAT!
Love a good bad date story Many moons ago I arranged to meet someone as a blind date and it was hideous. For about 45mins I heard a monologue of his life including all the people he had 'taken down' along the way. So I texted a friend to say 'argh this is awful, call me with an emergency so I can get out of here NOW'. Then his phone pinged and I realised I'd sent it to HIM! I just grabbed my bag and ran before he took me down 
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My worst date was the one from ok cupid, where I'd chatted for a couple of weeks with a guy who had one beautiful black and white photograph of himself in a dinner suit, swept back hair, nice trimmed beard. He turned up and looked like catweazle. mad hair, teeth that all pointed in different directions. we had planned on a walk along the thames. walked and chatted for a bit, he excused himself, saying he 'really needed a shit' and ducked into a restaurant. i waited outside for ten minutes, then texted my flatmate that I thought he'd done a runner. waited another ten minutes then left. never heard from him again, which is a blessing.
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