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Original poster

eek - date with man 22 years younger than me!

40 replies

babycourgette · 28/02/2014 20:26

I've been asked out for a drink by a guy at work tomorrow evening - he's 26 and I'm 48.

I can pass for about 10 years younger but he knows how old I am.

He's gorgeous Grin and there's always been an attraction between us but I never thought anything would come of it because of the age gap. Anyway, I'm recently single and not looking for a serious relationship. I suppose the only risk is that I fall for him big style as he's clearly not long term relationship material.

Biggest age gap I've experienced before was 12 years younger and I thought that was a lot!

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 28/02/2014 20:32

I wouldn't - not because of the age difference, but because he is a co-worker.

RatherBeRiding · 28/02/2014 20:45

It has the potential to get messy. Be careful.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2014 20:47

I wouldn't, either. Never shit where you eat.

Mintyy · 28/02/2014 20:50

Don't. You would just be a notch on his bed post and he will brag about bedding you to his 26 year old mates.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2014 20:52

Which is fine, if you didn't have to work with him. VERY ill-advised.

Fairylea · 28/02/2014 20:52

Hmmm I'd keep it flirty until one of you leaves working there and then date. Sounds awfully messy to me - says me as someone who's been stung by something similar !!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 28/02/2014 20:53

Go for a drink but keep your wits about you. Last thing you want is to be the object of workplace gossip.

Cabrinha · 28/02/2014 20:55

Baaaaaaaad idea.
Unless you don't mind comments behind your back at work, cougar jokes to your face, and then it possibly all getting awkward at work.
Age difference fine is if you're sure you won't fall for him - but you're not. And only if not at work!!!
Sorry to piss on your chips...
But you know, even if it goes OK, and there's never a problem between you - you will not look professional because of the age difference. And surely you want to, at work?

Mintyy · 28/02/2014 20:57

You don't have to go out for a drink with him just because you are flattered that he asked. Why not say "no but it was very nice of you to ask".

Original poster
babycourgette · 28/02/2014 20:59

Charming expat Smile

I met my XH at work and we worked for the same global company for almost 10 years some of the time very closely. If I'd taken that advice I'd have missed out on a marriage that was successful for 15 years and 3 lovely DC's.

Anyway, where I am now is also a big company and we don't work directly together. It's not unusual for there to be relationships there either.

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 28/02/2014 21:05

What is the big deal? If you like each other go for it but do be careful.

TetrisBlock · 28/02/2014 21:07

Most of the posts have been quite negative so I really want to put something positive but the age gap is considerable, he's a colleague... This could be a great bit of grown-up fun and just the pickmeup you need but there is also the potential of you making a fool of yourself which I think is what everyone here is trying to guard against. How together are you feeling after the break up op? Do you trust yourself to keep your wits about you?

superstarheartbreaker · 28/02/2014 21:07

If you have the best ever night and he brags about it, is that such a bad thing? Could you cope with it if nothing developed though?

GimmeDaBoobehz · 28/02/2014 21:08

I see no problem.

Unless your dcs are his age.

Original poster
babycourgette · 28/02/2014 21:15

I never said I was going to jump into bed with him!

And, no, DC's are only 12,10 & 8.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 28/02/2014 21:17

It's not about meeting people at work, loads of people do. It's about the age difference and you saying you're not looking for serious and that he isn't long term material anyway.
You know your company, not me.
But I know that at mine (large, global) that age difference would spread like wildfire and you would potentially be considered to lack... gravitas! Depends how professional you need to appear.
If he was similar age and you potentially a boyfriend - well, worth the work fallout risk I think, and not going to look unprofessional.

perplexedpirate · 28/02/2014 21:40

Oh, fuck it, just do it! Life is just too short for what ifs.
So it might be awkward at work if things don't go to plan but worse things happen at sea.
I don't regret much in life, but the only thing I do regret is cowardice.
Fortune favours the bold OP.
Good luck. Smile

MadBusLady · 28/02/2014 21:53

I don't buy all this social awkwardness stuff, it is of the moment, and it goes away when people get bored. I look back now at situations which seemed impossibly fraught with social and professional no-nos at the time and think "Oh, I wish I'd just bloody asked him/shagged him". Nobody ever reached the end of their life wishing they'd had less sex with hot people.

Original poster
babycourgette · 28/02/2014 22:14

Liking your attitude MadBusLady - that's actually the kind of phrase I often use e.g. Nobody thinks on their death bed 'I wish I'd mopped the kitchen floor more often'!

Hmmmm Mintyy if I did 'bed him' I might brag about it to my 48 year old mates. Maybe he should be worried about that?

If the age difference were the other way round it would still be the woman who was being warned that the 48 year old man would be bragging about bedding a 26 year old woman. Strange that Confused

OP posts:
cluecu · 28/02/2014 23:10

I don't think that the age gap is an issue on its own but....and it's too early to think like this...but.....

Are you just wanting a bit of fun? Is he? If it's potentially serious does he want kids? To be brutally honest there are double standards in gender afe gaps but the older man has a biological advantage that the older woman doesn't have

I am aware that this isn't necessarily an issue obviously Smile

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 28/02/2014 23:25

Im recently single and was asked out by a 22 year old guy, and Im 41. I suspect he wanted the whole older woman experience. Whilst he was hot, I declined.
I am the mother of 2 boys and i began thinking 'what if that was my 22 year old son?'.
Just a thought. Good luck whatever you decide.

CoffeeTea103 · 28/02/2014 23:57

Firstly he's old enough to be your son, to him you would be something to brag about and you're aware he isn't looking for something long term. As flattering as it is I wouldn't. You wouldn't want unnecessary complications at work as well.

TheVictorian · 01/03/2014 00:05

I would say give it a shot but make sure your both clear with each other about what you want in terms of a relationship or fling with each other.

MillyBlods · 01/03/2014 02:02

I couldn't as my son is in his early twenties as are all his mates so I would feel like a cradle snatched and just ...ewwww!!!!

beaglesaresweet · 01/03/2014 02:17

I'd say yes IF he's mature. 26 isn't that young but depends on personal maturity level. If he's still a teeanger at heart so he goes around and brags to mates still - I wouldn't do it unless he was mind-blowingly attractive. If it's a bit of fun, take it or leave it - do it only if he is mature and can be trusted to be discreet, otherwise can get unpleasant at work.