He is gone

[dramajustfollowsme]

I am just home having sat with my wonderful, wonderful grandad as he peacefully slipped away. He was my last surviving older relative and thoroughly terrific person in every way. My Facebook is filled with people, young and old telling me how wonderful he was. He was a total inspiration and the kindest, most positive person. I feel very privileged to be able to call him mine.
I now have to organise yet another funeral with my dsis. I'm not sure how I will ever manage to explain to my dd or my unborn child how fantastic their great grandfather was. He was a brave war veteran, amazing drummer, terrible joke- teller, biscuit eating, loving man and I miss him already.
He had a fabulous life, which I am truly grateful for but will leave a gaping hole in my heart.
I hope there is a heaven and that my mum, aunt and grandma were waiting for him with a cup of tea and a penguin biscuit.

Oh my goodness drama he sounds deranged, have some hot tea with sugar and some toast with honey to stop the shaky feeling.
Hope your DH is with you now.

drama He really is disgusting - it would be bad enough at any other time, but given your distress and pregnancy, this is even worse. He physically assaulted you. I admire your dh and dsis for not punching him to be honest. I hope he does behave tomorrow, then limit any contact you have with him to an absolute minimum.

Find some pudding elsewhere to make up for it. He isn't just selfish, he's nasty too.

How awful Drama - he sounds completely unbalanced. Glad it was in front of plenty of witnesses though, just so there is absolutely no confusion!

for you

What a horrible individual (there's a lot of it about at the moment, no?).
I really hope that he behaves like a civilised human being at the funeral.
I am a bit anxious for you. Do you have a couple of hefty chaps that could be ready tomorrow to deal with him if he starts? In any event I hope that everything goes as well as it possibly can as you say goodbye to lovely granda. May he rest in peace. .

Plenty of burly boys if necessary. I will never speak to him again if he spoils this for Granda.
He is scarily like his father. I danced a merry dance when he finally pickled his liver and was no longer around to torment my aunt but he had a profound affect on her and it seems the damage can't be undone.
I've discovered I've two thumb prints on my shoulders from lunch time. My dh wants me to speak to the police but I'd rather just tell cousin to fottfsof.

That is disgusting behaviour from your cousin I can understand your reluctance to speak to the police especially now but that man is a disgrace. Please take care drama and I'm thankful your DH has got your back.

I hope tomorrow is a lovely celebration of your Granda's life and for once no drama for our drama

Report him. Tell him to fottfsof (and then fosm) but report him too. you'll be doing the world a favour.

JS is a lazy cow. Document everything.

Rest for now. Hope tomorrow goes peacefully.

Thinking of you today drama

I hope it's a lovely send off for your Granda today Drama thinking of you

Thinking of you today and hoping things go as well as they can.

Your cousin was stupid to do that in front of witnesses drama.

Thinking of you, drama

Thinking of you today

Take photos of the bruises just in case, so if you decide in the next few days to report him to the police (which really isn't a bad idea) you have clear evidence.

There were soooo many people at the funeral. They opened up a side wing and still people were standing.
We were standing in the line-up thanking people for coming for over an hour. I don't know exactly how many were there but definitely over 300. Incredible for a man in his 90s.
My cousin did indeed cause a scene. He or my aunt had contacted the minister behind our (Dsis and I) backs. We found out as we entered the service that he was going to speak. We had no idea what he was going to say and he downed a hip flask to settle his nerves.
What he said would have been fine if he hadnt been slurring his words. It was all about him and Granda - laughable as he was never around.
It was full of grammatical errors too which made me wince.
I can hold my head up and say that Dsis and I tried our best and Granda got a good send off. However, I am annoyed that I spent the entire service worrying about him.
Dsis is really upset but I keep assuring her that the people that matter know the score. I couldn't give a shit about my cousin of his ego. Today means we are a step closer to never having to have anything to do with them.
My aunt chose to tell me at the wake that she had bought cousin a suit, using granda's money, for the funeral. Of course it is a fancy suit and now she thinks there won't be enough money to cover costs. I asked when had she done this as I froze his accounts immediately. She had done it before Granda had even died. Bunch of fuckers.

Oh my goodness Drama that really takes the bloody biscuit doesn't it?

I'm glad you managed to give your Granda a good send off despite the irritations

Oh drama, I'm glad your Granda had a lovely send off and those people are a testament to what a great, great man he was. He will always be with you, in your heart and memory.

Your cousin and aunt are unspeakable. Their behaviour and sneakiness is absolutely foul and the sooner he is out of your life the better. I hope your dsis feels better soon. It can't have been easy for either of you to listen to his speech.

Have you thought any more about reporting him?

Well done drama getting through the day and hope your DSis will not pay that cousin any more heed.

As for him and your aunt why am I not surprised and the business about the suit is disgusting. However, one poorly behaved fool and his grasping mum won't besmirch your Granda's reputation what a fantastic tribute to him so many turning up.

Oh drama, so sorry x

drama your Grandad would be so proud of you. How wonderful that so many people showed up to honour him. Focus on this rather than on your appalling idiot cousin.
Hope you have some time to recover and look after yourself.

Drama, how wonderfully moving having so many people there to send him off. That will be a lovely, warm memory for you, that he touched so many people. I still get a warm fuzzy feeling when I think of how crowded the crematorium was for my brother's funeral. It's been over 3 years, and I get more comfort from that than anything else.

Hope your sis can forget your despicable aunt and cousin. Things like that do fade, given time, and lose importance.

Be kind to yourselves, look after yourselves.

You have done your very best for your Granda drama and he will be so very proud of you.

The aunt and cousin are beneath contempt, though I would be deducting the cost of the suit from the aunt's share of any inheritance.
If this is the same cousin caught stealing your Grandpa's war medals then he was not doing it to keep a memento, but to have something portable and saleable.

Hopefully you will not need to have much to do with the pair of them in the future.

Although today was dreadful, you got through it, and I hope you and your sister will see it as a watershed, and both be able to begin healing and start to find some peace following the loss of your beloved Granda.

Yes, same cousin. He is highly manipulative and I doubt his mum has the capacity to understand what happened.
She phoned earlier to say how well everything went. I said I was hurt that the arrangements were changed and that Dsis and I weren't involved. I also spoke of my concern for cousin. Tbh, I can see him becoming a full on alcoholic, bullying narc like his dad.
I explained that the money she used for herself/her children will have to be taken into consideration when splitting the estate.
I now have to get her to move back to her council flat that she "gave" to her daughter and out of granda's sheltered house. The housing association have already said that she can't stay due to her age. She and her kids will make things difficult though. I've known this for years.
Tomorrow I'm in work and I am feeling so numb right now that I'm not sure I will be doing my best teaching. Dh is worried about me but I'm just going through the motions. I hope this is just grief/shock and I will start to feel fine. I'm not sure how much more crap I can take from aunt/cousin I just want to mourn my granda not deal with all their petty behaviour. It also makes me miss my mum and gran even more. They wouldn't be trying half this stuff if either of those two were around. My
aunt very much does what her son tells her and I think her future isn't brilliant. He only has his interests at heart. His sister, my other cousin, is lovely but so very damaged from living with her abusive father and brother. She is in an abusive relationship with her husband too. She has zero self-esteem. I worry about her and her little girl.
However, everyone keeps reminding me I cannot look after everyone. I have to focus on dh, my children and Dsis. I have to leave the rest of them out of my mind. It is hard though. So very hard.
I'm usually quite resilient. I feel quite fragile tonight.

Oh drama dear, you can't take on the cares and responsibilities for all these people, you have to put yourself and your precious new baby first and foremost.

It is not your responsibility to arrange housing for your aunt, leave that to herself and her children, and let the housing association get her out of your Granda's house, they will have protocols and strategies already in place for that situation, so just let them deal with it, that is their job.

Do your best to get through tomorrow with minimal effort, let your classes read their set books, or put on films of relevance to their topics. (must say I am not a teacher, so what do I know ). Think about taking a few weeks of sick leave.

Take care and keep safe.

Thankfully your aunt's living arrangements won't be your problem drama time to concentrate on yourself now.

Sorry if this remark is in poor taste but if your cousin and aunt were busy making a show of themselves at the funeral, at least you know they weren't rifling through your Granda's things.

Good luck at work today.

How are you this morning, lovely girl?

Drama, it is the housing association's responsibility to remove your aunt from the house, and not yours. She has somewhere to go which is actually her own house so she won't be homeless. It is not your responsibility to get her to move out. Leave it to the HA or whoever. They have the manpower, the time and it's their job - let them do it.

Morning Drama I echo what everyone else has said about your aunt and the housing situation, not your problem

I hope you managed a good nights sleep and are not feeling quite so fragile this morning. Concentrate on you, your baby and your own little family. I hope work goes ok for you today