Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Morning all.Hope it is a bright and good day for everyone.

Went for our picnic in the park yesterday and getting out of the house and the routine helped with the wine wibbles.

Big day for me today...... have a deadline that is pretty intense. I have procrastinated a bit- always a problem for me! I am going to focus on my focus. :)

Morning all! Good luck with the deadline nochips and hopefully being booze-free is good for the focus

I am starting to feel pretty good myself, my sleep is still a bit fractured, and my skin a bit scabby, but I feel less 'all over the place'. I forget this, when I'm binging: that actually the sober me is a much more secure, contained, competent, confident person. And a more loving one. One who doesn't let every little obstruction bring them down.

There's a lot of uncertainty in my life at the moment (career, finances, relationships, even what country I'm going to be living in over the next few months), and I need to keep reminding myself that the only way through that is to keep being this person, the sober one. She's OK.

And I am seven days sober today.

Really like the 'focus on my focus' . Good luck with it nochips.

12.30am found me scrubbing the white, tiled kitchen floor with a scourer. Surprisingly theraputic and I know have the cleanest kitchen floor in Christendom! Well, half of it anyways - the pleasure of doing the other half is saved for this afternoon...
Reading the Kate the soberjournalist blog last night. Realising that no matter what age, circumstance, sex, occupation, child-care, health or any other defining bit, the experiences seem to be remarkable similar?
Also was speed reading the first thread DRY and really happy to see Sorcha and MrsSippie doing so very very well. And also a bit shocked at reading my own posts from October - I'd realised I'd under-reported the 4-days thing. It was nearer 2-3 days AF for months and years. Crap. But then here I am on day 6. Which has been just simply unknown for a couple of decades. Do we know what has happened to yourtoastmildred? It looks like I have missed that? Has she metamorphosed?

How's that deadline going? It isn't making that satisfying whizzing noise as it flies by is it??

I've managed to focus on scrubbing the kitchen floor part deux. Not that I have plans to, but I could eat off it now.

Deadline done!! Thanks for asking. :)

Now off for the easter break, bar a few little things to catch up on.

I did focus in the end....now to make THAT my habit!

There is nothing more satisfying than surveying a clean kitchen with contentent, HowDRY.

:)

Hurrah!

Yes, it's like standing back and admiring the washing billowing around on the line on a warm breezy day. Deeply satisfying. #simplesoul

Yay for deadlines, a sober week and clean kitchens

I have only managed the second. Day seventeen and expecting my bracelet from Belle very soon!

Hope all is okay with everyone this weekend? Am off to a family do today, where the odd glass of wine would be sort of expected, but I'm volunteering to drive so no questions asked just in case.
Almost a week now. It was last Friday evening when I looked at myself and really didn't like wot I saw. Looking back, this is what I said in October:
" I've not drunk for one day, possibly last week. For two days? Some time last month. 3 days consecutively? I really can't recall. So roughly it was sometime early Oct I think that I last went 2 days. 3 days would have been some time in summer.

and

I've squandered time and money and feelings and effort and me. I've squandered large parts of me and my life. Missed work about 6 times this year making 'virus' excuses. Slowed considerably in the afternoons. On way home worked out how long it will be before I can open a bottle. Even sometimes at work when I was talking to someone about something sensitive for them, I have been calculating. No-one wants to actually be this person, do they?

As great as 7 days is, and as lovely right now it is to wake with a clear head and determination, that other experience isn't too far away. It feels a bit like pushing off from the shore and starting to paddle under one's own effort with being 'pushed along' by a so-called friend. It feels a bit like a no-mans land tbh. Is this the common experience? I'm reading that it is.

sorry, 'without' being pushed a long by a so-called friend.
Have been off all week with dd's hols, so returning to the habit of work without the habit of drinking will be a step-change.

Just got back form our break and it was really lovely. Lovely weather, lovely beach, great food. But I really struggled not drinking :(. And, now back to the demands of my mother who has been moved to a nursing home. She is demanding I go and see her and whinging and moaning. I am so fed up again.

I didn't drink btw which is great but nor could I run after the first day as i damaged my bloody hip on the first run!

Argh. Will catch up later.. xx

Hello! I am so glad you had a lovely trip Mrs. :) But sorry about your poor hip and very sorry about the moaning mother.

Starting at Day 1 again today. Grrr. I have not been counting days, but think I have to as it was easy to slip into 'well it's been aaaaages'. So I am counting, and my first aim is to 100 days of completely no drinking. I am thinking of starting my own blog, as I have really enjoyed reading the experiences of other people- and do not want to bore you all senseless with my ramblings!

Happy Easter everyone. :)

I'd read your blog, nochips because I like your posts

The first drink always does it for me. All bets are off after that.

Just seen this article and it's so true:

"Substances that are addictive are inherently difficult to consume in moderation. That's what "addictive" means. In fact, when you encourage someone who's struggling with an addictive substance to do it in moderation, what you're also saying is "Hey, you know that stuff that makes you want more and more as soon as you have a bit? Yeah, just have a bit!"

for the alcoholic it takes 1 drink, every time, simple.
don't pick up that 1st drink, end of. get your head around that fact and its simple
to have a wonderful, sober life all you have to do is not pick up. one day at a time.
I've seen so many recovering alcoholics try to break that rule, thinking they will be the exception, could now control their drinking, never ever seen one that can.
hard at first, bloody hard, but someone on here said craving only lasts 10 minutes and I think they're right.
have a great easter all, be nice to remember where we hide the eggs

That is a really good quote Blue.

I am hoping to set aside some time today to set a blog up. In some ways, I think it would help make me accountable, but also I am worried a bit about being outed accidentally. So am mulling it all over.

Happy easter everyone. DH is talking about going to the pub and having a drink before dinner. I am okay with that...... pineapple juice and lemonade, mmmm......... Yum. I genuinely like that more than the taste of beer. So that is just fine.

Happy Easter

Hello all.

Had a good week away and stayed sober: yes! Was strong from the start and people stopped offering very quickly. I did miss it at times but just got through. Stayed up chatting and laughing with the others most nights. The others drank slowly and steadily so no one was ever really drunk (like I would be). However, when I did a quick tot up, the steady few drinks were adding up to 10-15 units each day. Not healthy at all! Obviously I kept my thoughts to myself but it was interesting to see just how easy it is to drink an awful lot more than the guidelines. Scary.

Stayingdry, you mentioned that after the holiday was a danger zone. Oh my gosh: I had the strongest craving for a huge glass of dry white wine yesterday when we got home. After the first load of washing was in, once I'd had a shower, as I was doing dinner... I was desperate. I kept thinking 'I can't do this. I can't not drink. I am a drinker. This isn't going to work. I can't never drink again.' I tried to remember the 10 minute craving thing and it did eventually pass (it took slightly longer than 10 mins), and by the time I'd eaten I didn't fancy a drink at all. It was hard though. Having a sweet soft drink helped too.

It's been nice to catch up on the thread tonight. Well done to us all for continuing to be here.

Wow, MistressofPemberly, you did amazingly.

Better than me I am sorry to report.

After all your encouragement, after my slip up, I went to an event on Thursday and drank. Not wine (which is my real downfall) but a few bottles of beer. So, Consequently, on Friday, I didn't feel like a non drinker anymore. I bought 2 bottles of wine from the supermarket.

'I can't do this. I can't not drink. I am a drinker. This isn't going to work. I can't never drink again.'

That^ is exactly what I thought.

I still have wine in the house. I will probably finish it tonight, just because I can't start again with wine in the house. I know that's a bit like people who eat all the biscuits, so that there are no biscuits in the house, but that's the way my mind works!

Can I still hang out with you all, as I still know my drinking thinking is not normal, and I still want to find a way to tackle it?

I read the Allen Carr book, which was good in that it tries to remove that fear of wanting a drink forever and never being able to have one which just seems so grim. On the other hand, Allen tried to tell me I never really like alcohol, and he said mean things about wine, which I just couldn't agree with in my heart of hearts.
He said something like "when you had that first drink, remember how it tasted awful?"
But I don't. I must have been 10 or so when I first tasted red wine. I thought it tasted like blackcurrants and rubies and magic. I mean, I can't imagine a world where I decide I hate red wine. The first glass of something decent will always taste like nectar to me. Except , left to my own devices, it never is one glass.
So, I know, I know, I know.
I just wish I could get behind Allen Carr's mentality that there is nothing to miss, because aside from the taste thing, all the other things about being sober are ace.

Link to your your blog please NoChips, once you have started it!

Well done MistressofPemberley!

I had a bad evening. Didn't drink but would have if there had been any in the house.

Sunday, I know what you mean and what a marvellous description of red wine.

Allen Carr talks about how we all enjoyed life as children without alcohol but it wasn't like that for me. I was self-conscious and awkward inwardly and socially.

When I had my first taste it was like I had found what was missing in my life and from then onwards I drank whatever I could and as much as I could, at Christmas, on holiday and at weddings. I knew with unusual clarity that I would have an issue with it my whole life.

Forever seems so unachievable

SundayMorning that's an interseting point you raise; my first taste of alcohol was hiding behind the sofa at the age of about 5 with my brother, taking a swag from a Martini bottle, the advert "Anytime, any place, anywhere" going through my mind, I felt so sophisticated. I don't even remember the taste, just that I felt grown up. One of my earliest memories is sitting up at my gran's table with my tea set, pretending to be Mike Baldwin from Coronation Street, swilling brandy, because it looked so nice in the glass he drank from!

My parents never drank in the house except when they had guests at Christmas, so imagine their horror a few months after me and my brother had watered down their Martini and they served it up to friends on Christmas Eve....

I actually cried real tears of laughter over SlippedDisco pretending to be Mike Baldwin!

See, I can remember some great times as a child that were obviously alcohol free, but I too was hooked on the idea of booze early on, and its so ingrained. The first time I was ever drunk I was at my friend's granny's house aged 11. Her parents were down the pub, and we were making Sodastream cola. My friend sneaked some of her Granny's rum and put it in the coke, and I remember sitting on the sofa watching Up Pompeii and feeling lovely and woozy.

Now I feel like I am trying to tempt all the good sober ladies of this thread over to my dark side! I'm not though, because, while red wine is nice (sorry Allen) and a good rum buzz can't be beat, none of us can really handle booze properly.
It puts me in mind of those people in New York who bought baby alligators in the 1970's as fashion pets, and then the alligators grew..Or like a man I once knew who kept the most enourmous dog in a tiny council flat.
These things seem cute at first, but they end up too big for your house. (Or they end up eating you!)

God that is all so true what you all have said. I also remember feeling very clearly when in my teens that I must never start to drink alcohol because if I did, I would have a problem. Self fulfilling? Not sure.

I was desperately shy as a child (still am) and when I drank in pubs, I WOULD find it easier. I was wittier, funnier, made friends. Just somewhere along the way I stopped drinking as a casual pastime, and lost sight of myself.

Don't leave us Sunday! :) This stupid drug isn't beating any of us.

Hello! So unpacked, managed a shortish run yesterday and been to see my mother twice. She has made me cry several times and still I'm sober

I have struggled these past few days though -lately, smoking and drinking seem very appealing which is bloody ridiculous. Hopefully now my leg is feeling better I will get back into my training and back to work tomorrow which will ground me (or grind me down [rueful smile] )

I start my counselling tomorrow too which is hopefully going to be a good thing. Without a doubt my drinking started from me being so unhappy as a child, having such horrible things going on and such a weird mother. It was and still is an escape. Facing up to life without that is very hard.

I am going to be up at 6am to get my name down for next years London marathon - insanity has replaced alcohol it appears!

Happy Easter to everyone..

Hi MrsSippie. How exciting- the London Marathon!! I am so looking forward to hearing about your training.

Goodluck with the counselling also. :)

Hello all, nice tabard here, fancied a NC

Was catching up on posts and the taste thing was interesting. A lot of drinks are acquired tastes (beer etc) and many are too strong for people at the start of their drinking career (trying to drink neat spirits as a teen).

I started with cider/ snakebite and black which are very sweet and I guess the generation after me on alcopos, they are far more palatable for a young palette.

The thing about taste though. After having been a serious drinker for some years, I would drink anything literally anything if it had alcohol in it and there were no other options, including things that I had decided when younger that they were so very revolting I would never touch again.

So in the absence of something acceptable I'd knock back bitter, baileys, whiskey, cinzano, anything that was in the house or available where I was.

And that's maybe where I can take something from that taste thing. If I will desperately swill something that I know to be revolting, just because it's not "time" to stop drinking yet, then that's a no going back point of fucked-up ness.

That's my take on it anyway, don't know if that helps anyone else

Keep up the good work everyone and those who have slipped finish/chuck what you have, chin up, and tomorrow's a brand new bright and sober day If we all keep at it we can get it done I am sure of that.

yesterday I went to my brother and SIL for lunch. I saw them at Christmas and passed off the not drinking as 'just don't feel like it' (which tbh is a complete lie iI ALWAYS feel / felt ike drinking! ) - but this time I decided to be honest and just said I had stopped drinking. Cue lots of open mouths and amazement - esp when i said that, apart from one slip on boxing day, i have been dry since October 28th 2013. After I had said that, of course I immediately wanted to grab every drop of alcohol in the house and drink myself into oblivion ...

but I didn't. Plodding on, rather than striding forward purposefully, at the moment, but plodding on nevertheless and sometime next week it will be SIX months ...

hugs to all