Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Hi Daisy, welcome! We're a friendly lot.

Thanks for the answers, all. I hope I didn't make anyone dredge up anything they didn't want to. It was actually just that I kept noticing (not here, per se, but around) that a lot of women getting sober seem to refer to themselves as drinking for about twenty years, and that's exactly true for me, so I wondered whether there was something about that time frame. But you've all scuppered that theory!

I haven't been drinking alcoholically since 15, by any means, but certainly as soon as alcohol entered my world I embraced it. If I was out with friends in my teens or early twenties grabbing lunch, and there was a bar, I'd always buy a glass of wine. If wine was around, I accepted it. This stopped being true in the last few years; I would easily forgo wine at social occasions, or limit to one, knowing that I could drink in peace later.

Daisy, it sounds like your husband would be pleased and excited to know that you're embarking on sobriety...why not tell him? I ask because, I know that my historical reluctance to tell my DH was because I didn't want to feel like I'd actually made an irreversible commitment, so by staying silent it was no big deal if I gave up.

Which I inevitably did. What's different this time is that I deliberately told a bunch of people.

thats an excellent point tortoise, by keeping quiet you are not making any big commitment that can be shown, also your partners support would be a great boost. imagine how great when he tells yoy how well you are looking, doing
go for it daisy .

Thanks for the welcome

One day down ...my big nemesis will be tomorrow evening though; I work five nights a week and on my nights off, I drink drank wine. I sometimes even start at tea time. Thursday and Friday are my weekend.

I'm wary about telling DH, as if I do fall off the wagon, he will be vindicated. We have the conversation before about me not being able to stick to it and I have tried anbd failed in the past. I think he thinks I'm a lost cause

I will tell him, but I want to get a bit of sobriety under my belt before I do, if that makes sense?

Hi Daisy, welcome.
Well done nicetabard.

Day 3 here and a splitting headache. I really must pull myself together.

Have been feeling guilty about being so low energy and getting through work so slowly, taking lots of breaks etc. It dawned on me this morning that part of my job is to keep myself together so actually I do need to set the pace. I have a week off coming up. I hope I will be more efficient after that, but in the meantime I can only do what I can do without breaking up.

That sounds very self righteous and doesn't actually act as a convincing external argument for mn-in on work time, but I need to be well. I am seeking sobriety and I need some kind of support for that. Thankyou all for your support!

The soberistas website have announced they are going to change to charging for subscriptions. I am considering signing up on the basis that paying for something makes it seem more serious. I could view it as a legitimate course of therapy and maybe stick to it

Hi everyone

just a quick zip in and then zip out as i am about to have a meeting. :(

Found a great sobriety blog yesterday, written by a woman from NZ. She is funny, and she writes what my feelings are, if that makes sense.

I am currently going through her archives, and am on month two, but wanted to share in case anyone else found her fun to read too. :)

livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.co.uk/p/month-2.html

Hi all.

Wobble tonight. Went to off liciences, bought lucosade instead.

Having it in a wine glass

Bleurgh

Well done Rachael

That took some doing.

Thanks Tabard!
Think it's a bath and bed night - day 22 and sleeping so long and heavy, will no doubt be out like a light - and tomorrow is another day!
Hope you're well x

Early nights seem to be something of a theme on this thread

Hi all
can I join? Day 3 here.

welcome queen, day 3..fantastic stay with us and stay strong, the gift of sobriety is huge
just back from AA so on abit of a high.

Good morning all. :)

Good on you Rachael.

Hi everyone. I also had an early night- up early now to finish off some work before the day starts and to clean the house before work starts in earnest.

Daisy I am also resisting telling DH for a whole bunch of reasons. I saw someone on another thread say they were not drinking alcohol or eating sugar until they lost a stone. So I said that last night to DH. Mentioned I am on a serious health kick.I am hopeful that as time goes by I will feel more comfortable in actually telling him.

Had a good day yesterday. No major wibbles. But yes, I shot off to bed at 8 pm just to make sure I could not be tempted when DH had a scotch.

Hello and may I join you? I am writing after 4 alcohol free days. This is nothing short of a miracle! I haven't told anyone in rl because it will be rolled eyes and 'heard it all before' I drank wine every day in a large amount prior to Sunday. I am finding it easier than all my previous attempts and hope its not a honeymoon period.
I am 42. I have always been told I look younger.
Until recently. I look pink and bloaty. God knows what is going on inside.
I have started a thread in chat to see whether anyone wamts to get through the early days together. Would it be ok to link it?
I don't want my 'own' dry thread. I just thought it might help a thread for people just days into sobriety.

good morning
I would think that if you're giving up alcohol and sugar at the same time, you will get a sugar crave, as your body is going without it from the alcohol abstinence and then you'll be denying it basic sugar on top. I would of thought that would be making it harder on yourself
I hope it pays off not telling your partner, I think theres pros and con's to it.
I had no choice as I was visibly to him a drunk, but I'm glad he knows now.the support and gratitude, and knowledge the guilt I would feel on a relapse helped me particularly early on.
also l like to keep it simple, I dont lie to anyone, just don't drink.its none of anyone's business why not. I don't ask someone that doesnt like tea why not, same thing.
have a good day all

Hi Jupiter,
I'm with you, day 4 here for me today.
Well done on your progress so far!

Are there any triggers coming up for you?

Mine - I have a big meeting thing tomorrow at which I have to present (I hardly ever have to do this and I am nervous) and will basically be on the spot all day. Afterwards drink will be served and I will be either in a mood to celebrate or drown my sorrows.

Some thoughts I am lining up in advance:

networking works better sober. This is a work function.

Allowing myself to drink anything but booze. I hardly ever drink juice or soft drinks but a sugar rush might help at the end of the day if I am tired. If there is fruit juice and I fancy it, I will have it, and not count them or worry about calories (it has to turn into fewer calories than a weekend long bender)

Focusing on the great feeling of being calm clean and serene after a long day when you finally get to bed; and the feeling the next morning

How is everyone else?

Good morning all . Sorry I have been off for a few days. Life!
Well done to everyone not wobbling Rachael - that is great!

On the not telling, I'm not sure really. I had 'given up' so many times that each time I said 'that's it', dh would just say 'ok' and roll his eyes a bit. This time, I didn't say 'forever', I just made it clear that I really wanted to stop and would try really hard for as along as I could. Up until the new year, he carried on buying the drinks I like, but now he knows that I'm serious and, to his credit, puts all of his alcohol in the shed outside. Not that I'd be tempted (hopefully) but just to keep it out of sight. I do get fed up when he's had a few, just because he is rather dull! but I can honestly say, I do not want to drink - mostly!

Have overdone the new addiction (exercise ) this week, running like mad and joined a bootcamp lat night... It's good, but I hurt like hell this morning!

HAve a good and peaceful day all.

My "weekend" trigger has been removed from me, in that the surgery I had scheduled for 14th April has been brought forward to tomorrow

So, will be in hospital for 4 days and then at the mercy of painkillers and then DH for a few weeks till I can drive again. I will tell him not to buy me any, no matter how much I plead!

Thanks for the welcome and the support, and I will be back at the start of next week hopefully!

Good luck! I hope it goes ok.

welcome Jupiter The first few days are hard and every day feels like a hundred. If you are anything like I was, you will be thinking abut alcohol, and drinking/not drinking 10,000 times a day.

I just wanted to say it does get better. A lot better. I don't worry about anything coming up now, as I know I can mange without alcohol, and that actually I always feel pleased afterwards that I didn't drink and that I remember what I did/said etc...

I am seeing some really HUGE and fundamental changes in myself over that last few weeks Both on a personal and professional level I am significantly more assertive, less passive aggressive; less seething inside and more just saying it as I see it.

I am recognizing more and more that I have responsibility for how my life is , not my partner colleagues or anyone else., That I have needs and opinions as good and valuable as anyone else s. And they are mine. Everything is changing inside me.

I think I am growing up

Good luck DAISY!

Welcome Jupiter. Welcome allhailqueenmab.

Sorcha it is interesting what you say. I was thinking this morning- that even with so few days AF, I feel different. Before I felt as though there was some sort of invisible wall between me and the world. Now I feel it has lifted, and I am much more engaged with life, more present in my own skin. It is a fabulous feeling.

Assertive - yes! Able to say what you really mean instead of muttering and crying and reaching for a drink, getting drunk and then being abusive - yes!!

Taking responsibility - yes! I even told my mother that we don't need her to 'look after the cat' when we go away next week. I had asked her because I felt sorry for her and thought she might like to stay at our house for a week, however, all she has done is moan about how cold it will be, how scared she will be a t night and how annoying the cat is, but she'll 'do it if you want me to' NO. we will ask our nice neighbours to feed him . No more trying to bend over backwards for her...

Sorry - derailed as usual .

Basically, YES! The changes are very noticeable and really worth it.

Hello allhail yes triggers. No social occasion but Friday is a trigger by its very existence! I am so used to marking the weekend! But to be honest I have been marking every day! I am drinking copious amounts of herbal tea! I haven't given myself a rule such as I will only drink on a Saturday or Friday or in company. I am focusing on the day by day and I am not planning on drinking anytime soon. When I tried before and said never again my head was in the wrong place. I feel more positive this time around by saying I am not having a drink today.

Good luck with your work function. Maybe make an excuse after and go home?

Feeling wobbly, not sure why. Not going to get anything but just got a thirst on my tongue and my hands want to be pouring and tipping back.

Going to have another coffee.

I'm surprised it's taken this long TBH. I have been doing so well.