Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

thanks cake, morrigu, nochips.

feeling better after some time with dds and dp. dp said "you seem so sad."
dds have so much love for me. It is humbling. they literally screamed with joy when they realised I was home. I have to be better.

Can't face everything I have to do. Hope tomorrow will be better.

good night all x

Help help help so jittery and edgy this morning. Leaving much later than usual as I have a meeting to go to near home. Still somehow can't get going, feeling so nervous. I want this part of my life to be over. beautiful sunny day but I am just fluttery and anxious. I have to be dressed and out in 15 minutes and I can't even make a decision on what to wear.
Weird muscular aches all around my chest and back. This is a true 2 day hangover. I think when I drink I have a sort of excited held tension in my chest and upper body and it doesn't relax when I sleep and it turns into this weird dull ache.
I want to be a normal person I can't understand why I am sitting on the floor in my pjs panicking instead of enjoying getting ready to go to what could be a really good meeting
I think I am going to get lost. I think someone from work will see my car and be appalled at the state of it (old, messy). I need to forget this crap and get dressed
I need to see people maybe. Maybe I will be ok when I get there and get over the initial bit
help me help me
coffee isn't helping but I can't stop drinking it

I totally sympathise. Get some water into you, all day. If you can pick up some Kalms, I found them good for the jitters. Maybe some vitamin c tablets too. You'll be done with this part soon, just hang in there. Think of it as the enemy going into its final death throes. You're doing great!

Bones,
As Rabbit says, keep up the fluid intake - I also found that sweet stuff, tea or a couple of biscuits helped.
You're doing great, you really are.
Hope the meeting goes well x

You will be a bit jittery - but yes, fluid and kalms will help. Good luck. We all know what you're going through x

Absolutely. Hang in there. You will feel so much better soon!

I remember the first time I was ill (as in genuinely ill, rather than hungover). I was actually PLEASED if that makes any sense. I was sick (some bug or something) and had to go to bed and let DH look after DCs. And it was just lovely knowing that I WAS ill rather than trying to pass off a hangover as illness - and that DH knew it and was genuinely sympathetic. So I felt dreadful physically, but there was no mental anguish and guilt mixed in.

That probably sounds a bit random - but suddenly thought of it in the context of poor Bones feeling rough as the alcohol leaves the system.

Wishing everyone a happy day

Yes with the fluid intakes especially really cold drinks help, for me ice-cold fizzy water. I still drink galloons of the stuff every day now. Also agree with sweet stuff. Take a good multivitamin too going forward if you aren't already as alcohol can affect vitamin levels. At night you could try some meditation music and I took a nytol the odd night.

The anxiety I found to be the worst the first few days after that it was more restless than panicky. Only way is up now so hang on in and you'll get through it.

Likee been siad, lots of sugar . remember that there is alot of sugat in alcohol so when you stop drinking your body craves it.
lemonade was and still is my substitute, but I know alcoholics that use mars bars, jellly babies, sod the calories, better to put weight on for abit than be a sad drunk.
spirits up, stay strong, we have all been there.
to all in early recovery, a massive well done, trust me IT WILL BE WORTH IT. The results you will feel in only a short few weeks is imense x

I hear ya bones, remember that disgusting feeling all too well, I promise it does go away, can only echo everyone else re the fluids and sugar.
My anxiety was through the roof 2 weeks ago, the GP prescribed betablockers to take alongside my antidepressants as I was sat in front of him a nervous wreck, but 2 weeks later my anxiety (which I've battled for years) is barely there and I don't even remember to take the betablockers as those waves of fear have vanished. All it's taken is a good run off the booze and a resolve not to do it to myself anymore (not easy but worth it)

Not sure what the hell happened to me yesterday, woke up feeling bloated, awful wind pains and covered in spots resembling Mount Everest. One is so big I thought it had plans to take over the world . Felt utterly lethargic, miserable and no energy whatsoever and was on the edge of tears most of the day. I somehow managed to remain calm during one of DD1's unreasonale and downright rude teenage temper tantrums though, so felt pleased I was able to remain in control of the situation without ranting back or seeking solace in the bottom of a bottle.

Managed the gym for the first time in months this morning so fingers crossed yesterday's pity party was just a blip.

Still spotty though!

SlippedDisco, sounds like a virus. Yuk.

thanks for the support everyone. I went to the meeting, no one saw my car and it was fine.
It was true that I need to get out and face things, I do feel better now (mentally) - physically still feel ropey though. I just wish I could sleep.

It's nice to look at my life from the outside sometimes. I have a good job and great kids. Going to meetings and things like that takes me out of myself and allows me to float up into a corner of a room and think "wow this is me this is my life, maybe I did do something right, as well as being bloody lucky" and that helps.

thanks for all the nice posts this morning. I will be back I am sure.

x

Welcome Bones and Nochips and hi everyone else. Thanks for some great posts. I feel like the world is divided in to those who wouldn't even begin to panic or obsess over where/when the next drink was coming, and you lot, who totally get it. I don't particularly fancy AA but I'd go just to talk to other people who understood alcohol addiction. That's why I love this thread. It's lovely to know that it helps people who don't necessarily post too.

I'm still doing well. I feel good. I catch myself being silly and giddy and larking about and it takes me a moment to remember I'm not even drunk! Lovely. Homelife is good and I feel so present, so worthy almost, and just a better me. Was thinking about booze the other day, and realised I don't actually fancy a drink, because that's not what I want. If I'm going to drink, I want to get absolutely fecking hammered, and I can't do that, so tough. It's a bit like wanting to snog a gorgeous random man: I'm married, so I can't, so get over it!

Still reading reading reading. Find I keep trying to research 'slebs' who don't drink. I think there is something quite cool about sobriety! On a serious note, when do you go from 'I'm not drinking' to 'I don't drink'? I'm so afraid of failure that I daren't lay my cards on the table, but part of me wishes I had the guts to tell the world.

God, Mistress, SO true about not fancying 'a' drink. I have absolutely zero desire (let alone ability) to have a glass of something crisp and white. I want to know I have at least 2 bottles of the stuff on hand and no one around to police me as I demolish it. Er - difference…… So - can't even go there/waste my time thinking about it; which is hugely freeing.

Yup - freaky civilians don't get it, but we do

Hi everyone,
bones you sound so much calmer. You are an inspiration. Hope the rest of your day goes really well. :)
I went grocery shopping this morning, and did not buy any wine and had a momentary feeling of euphoria thinking that I am FINALLY going to get on top of this. (Fingers crossed!). Usually when I buy wine I feel anxious... about the cost, about what it means to have ti in the house. I felt good.

went out to lunch also with a friend who I rarely see. I drank pineapple juice and lemonade. I enjoyed myself still. I can hardly believe that- not least because we were at the pub. It seems like such small things, but it is a massive thing for me to go to a pub for lunch and not have a drink. I also bought a notebook and recorded how much I would have spent on alcohol.... I am hoping it will inspire me to see the amount I save on booze, as has been recommended already. I was all ready to say that I had 'given up for Lent' but no-one even asked why I was not drinking.

So, a start. Thanks all for being here and holding my hand. :)

bones I read through your post again. I am going to cut and paste so many of the posts I read on here where people are panicking and struggling and then come through. I think it is just so inspiring. Because when I panic I tend to fold. To see you carry on, and post again makes me feel and hope I can do it too.

Bones - the sleep comes, I'm in week two and it's hit! I'm sleeping very deeply, remembering my dreams and actually waking up refreshed!
Some folk have said it came back in week three, but it's good when it gets here - I feel like it's giving me the energy I need to deal with this.
Getting loads done round the house too!

Rachel, I was like a whirlwind by 3rd week.
went on to decorate whole house and plant hundred weight in daffodil bulbs. Garden looks like kew now though, and for every one of them bright yellow flowers, its a glass of wine not drunk :)
over 190 days now, feeling great.

Stayingdry - you really inspire me!!

I am so burnt out, I think this weekend's bender is as much a result as a cause of feeling so worn out.

I found myself blatantly skiving this afternoon - in a way I never do - I took dd after school instead of her going to the CM as usual and we went to the plant nursery and bought some seeds and had tea and cake. It was lovely. I just couldn't face doing my work and I feel... like something has snapped

I think sometimes that sort of skiving is exactly what we need. To slow down and enjoy the moment and all of that corny stuff, because the good sober moments are more powerful as building blocks than the bad alcoholic ones. Scaring oneself sober only goes so far, I think - mostly what we need is faith in a new and better sober life.

(Says me, from all the wisdom of 12 days sober)

Well I'll easily clock up another 3 months as I'm now on an antibiotic cream that is best avoided alcohol on. If that doesn't work I've to give the antibs a go. Hump, thought stopping drinking and smoking was meant to make your skin better.

Also done myself the pleasure of deactivating my facebook for a while. Time to get a bit more proactive instead of the constant distraction of the internet, here doesn't count

Morrigu - what's happening with your skin? I have little blisters on my hands, not sure if it's related....

I'm really struggling today. Ugh. I am reminding myself continually that drinking won't make a bad day better, only worse.

just think to yourself, one drinks too many 20s not enough.
drink loads of pop, stay strong, keep busy x

Yep and not only will it make a bad day worse, it will make tomorrow morning worse and all Rabbit. Stay strong and you'll be proud of yourself.

Having a shit day myself but strangely don't want to drink, more like batter a certain someone over the head with a wine bottle :) Some days I wish I could just move away from ex and his constant whining to get his own way when it suits him. And breathe..

Rosacea Rachel. Started getting it when I was pregnant I think and has lot a lot worse lately. Ironically red wine is a common trigger and it never bothered me and I'm only getting it now I've stopped drinking as I've started exercising. How's that for sods law?

Hi

Hello new people! Welcome and stick with us, we've all been where you are. It's only a week since my relapse but I feel entirely different already.

I wanted to put something down about anxiety.

I suffered from a panic disorder for nigh on a decade, I used to use alcohol to make the panic stop but soon enough it was the alcohol that caused the panic, it was one huge vicious cycle.

I was largely recovered from the disorder in the last years of my drinking but it was still always there lurking ready to floor me with a hangover. I used to plan big drinking sessions around work and/or social events to ensure that I was never hungover on important days. It didn't stop me occasionally cocking that up and having to ring in sick or duck out of family occasions because I couldn't face it.

During my sober periods in the last year it has entirely disappeared, vanished completely! Just a week in today and already there isn't even a smidgeon of panic lying under the surface. Ha ha, I could conquer the world (if only I could be bothered ).

On the subject of dangerous withdrawal: I did a home detox about a year ago, I didn't think I needed it but it was a prerequisite for being prescribed the antabuse that I wanted. My worst pattern of drinking was about three times a week drinking up to 70cl (usually less) of vodka. On occasion that would spill into the next day with another 35cl or so. Horrible, really horrible. Anyway, that's to give an idea about what the medical profession might feel is a level of drinking that might constitute a detox rather than just stopping. I still think it was overkill as I've never had a seizure but I did understand that I needed to be entirely alcohol free for at least three days before taking the first antabuse tablet. They gave me lovely sedatives for the detox days, god knows how I managed to keep going to work but I did.

This time because it wasn't an extended period of drinking and I already had the antabuse tablets I just waited three days after relapsing then started taking the tablets again. So now, every time i take a tablet I know that I can't then drink for a week and that suits me just fine. A week ago I was wondering about whether or not I should drink on a girls weekend I've got coming up, knowing it could be messy - especially as two of the other women going are drinkers - and now I'm so glad I can't/won't. It seems bonkers to even consider drinking on that occasion, we will be in a lovely location and if I were drinking it would be likely that I would simply sit on my arse all weekend next to the booze.

Meditation is my other crutch, it's what I use to slow my mind and have a bit of me time. My mind races like a steam train most of the time but regular meditation keeps it at a manageable level.

Hope everyone is having a good day.