The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

[Mouseface]

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU.

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. :)

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

Just checking in.
Cold,wet and horrible outside and CBA doing anything.
Went to dads this morning to do some jobs for him.He has dementia and today's vitally important job was to go into the attiac and....dust the cobwebs off the rafters so we can all see what's in there!!!!
These are not Indiana Jones size curtains of web by the way,just ordinary wee attic cobwebs!! Sent poor ds up to do the job despite his fear off both heights and spiders. Told him it was character building lol. Then ds and I tore up cardboard boxes in the rain because they have to be torn into pieces or else the bin men won't take them. They will.
Meanwhile dh, changed one bedside cabinet for another that did the job better and solved the amazing confusion that all TV programmes now had the words on the bottom of the screen,by turning off the subtitles!!!! Give me strength......

Hi Faire - yeah, have been lurking on legal and divorce threads, but not getting positive messages from them - some seem to even think that your oh gets entitlement to your pension even years after splitting up. Seems the less you take financial responsibility yourself, the more the state can force your solvent partner to take on the burden. A lot of posters seem to think that if you are married then what's yours is theirs after separation - and if I could afford it that would be fine, but I really can't run and pay for two houses. Also, cannot manage alone with 3.15 school run when I rarely get home from work before 7.00. If I push things he will punish me by not co-operating with looking after the ds. So needs to be more of a long term plan really. And tbh I am so tired with this work trauma - am jealous of colleagues with working, supportive partners and parents around for them - they only have work to worry about and know they will get support if the worse comes to it - whereas I won't, and it is even wrecking my confidence in my ability to get another job. Am feeling old and fat and hopeless, need to give myself a kick tbh.

Beaches thanks for the

Ma I will come and clean your attic spiders, I love insects. Except wasps! Oh, and cockroaches.

Spanna how are you lovely? Is the funeral this week? Hope you are OK.

Everyone else - hope you are doing OK this freezing Sunday

Still not done the ironing

Where is everyone?

I'm in the sidecar Ma. Hoping to haul myself out this week.

I'm here getting ready for back to school tommorow and there's another meeting carnt wait... What will they say to me having scratches on my face from him? was considering not going but was told they will turn up here to see why I'd not gone.

Hope everyone's kicking the wine witches ass today x

Is the meeting tomorrow I'm? Good luck. You are doing so well with the not drinking. You have done nothing wrong, just remember that xxx Let us know how it goes x

Hi babes quick check in, I've done something to my phone and the font size on mumsnet's gone tiny and i can barely read it even when I maximise it again. I'm having to use H's pc which I don't like doing, especially when he's around.

I had just over half a bottle of red last night and would have had more if it was there, for some reason I really wanted it. Not sure why, maybe being stuck in with the dds for most of the day...I'm finding weekends a struggle as the weather's so bad and I just don't have the money to spend on indoor activities. They get bored, fight, and I end up at the end of my tether and feeling like a shit mother :( Then I have a week at work, spend my days off feeling anxious about going to work - at work I look forward to the weekend off but then I don't enjoy it

Hope I really sympathise which your situation. I have a H who is financially irresponsible, does next to nothing round the house, gambles (the few times he's had money it's gone in the blink of an eye) so all the advice is LTB. However I work irregular days/hours, I can't get paid child care for the hours I work, my DM does not want to/can't cope looking after dds, so I am stuck until the dc are old enough to look after themselves. I've trawled through the relationship boards looking for a solution I might not have considered but I've yet to find one...I have no advice but I understand why your trapped x

Well done on the weight loss beaches, I've not dared get weighed lately, I'm trying to concentrate on going to the gym and hope that my eating habits will just catch up with it. Not likely!!! I'm going to try and be more sensible from next week, dc are back at school so I might try and devise a six week plan. Fit february has not really happened for me

Hi all, having problems with our internet at the mo, bit sporadic, so can only hug and wave to all brave babes on the bus quickly before the middle thingy starts flashing.

Thinking of you all, wishing things could be better for why and I'm, and cheering you all on. Not been doing great here with the ww, unfortunately. Is this day 1 again ? Oh dear

Day one here too...h has just suggested wine but I'm resisting, trying to concentrate on the week ahead and how much better I'll feel if I don't drink.

Annie- trying that mindset too, I do so well for a few days, then fail myself.
The worst thing is, I've got to the 'clear head' bit before, was so proud of myself, and thought I could do it again. Really struggling at the mo. A lot of it I know is work, just horrible and I really don't want to be there

Hope - My parents are both dead, I am an only child, and there is only so much you can ask of friends, so I just feel alone and unsupported, and acutely aware of carrying the financial can for everybody therefore trapped in job from hell for now - I want to help my kids through university and stuff, and he is just not interested in providing. We are not really partners, just a childcare job-sharing arrangement.

I understand now but that has made me feel dreadfully sad for you sweetheart. You are trapped between the Devil and The Deep Blue Sea in many ways, however, should he go, you'd still be in the same position; yes?

So, is there anyway that you could have a sit down and look at the numbers, do a bit of jiggling and get rid?

How old is DD, when will she be in High School?

If you'd rather take this to PM, so we can talk without clogging the thread up, then please do so.... Big hugs to you Bravest Babe xxx

Why - I'm thinking of you, not read back just popped in and saw Hope's post so thought I should answer/comment whilst I had five mins, busy night here as it's all back to school tomorrow here!

Be back later xxx

hope yes it's tomorrow they need to start helping or fuck of and leave us alone

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread.

Just wanted to say to everyone wetl done for confronting your drinking habits.

big hugs to all
2 weeks off 21 months sober

Wow! trinityrhino is on the bus!

You are one of the awesome ones.......

oh behave yourself. I'm one of you.

hope you're all doing ok

Can I join you?
I am worried about my drinking.
For years DH and I have enjoyed a (largish) glass of red wine every evening, and usually a couple at weekends. However over the last year mine has crept up to two large glasses every night...usually alone as DH has to go to bed early for his job.
I have no problems getting up, or going to work but do feel tired and sluggish a lot and had a lightbulb moment last week when I realized the ONLY time I haven't had two glasses is when I was ill with noro virus before xmas :( And at weekends it's now three. That's a fair number of wine bottles, but what worries me more is that I WANT my wine every night..it would never occur to me to not.

Tonight is my first night with no wine in hand.. and I'm worried I won't sleep. I don't want to give it up, but I want to be able to have the odd glass in the week and not several nightly ones.

My father is a functional alcoholic and I want to stop myself now. Please help me.

Morning babes, another alcohol free weekend under my belt (that is two weekends in a row):) Have been trying to eat sensibly as well and despite scales not showing much difference this morning I tried on a pair of jeans that wouldn't close on me on Christmas morning but today they actually closed - happy days!

Medusa welcome to the bus . Your story sounds like mine, how the amount slowly creeps up and the memory of having an alcohol free night is rarer than ever. I hope you managed to get a good sleep last night, I expect that you enjoyed waking up and realizing that you did it though . This is a good place be while you try cutting down, it has definitely helped me.

Obri well done you, on the AF and the jeans! I have some jeans that have been folded away for too long because they refuse to fit but they too will be mine

Im good luck with your meeting today babe, hope they make you feel supported. Would you be in double figures today? You are doing sooo well xx

Anne fit February has not panned out as I planned either but I am doing some exercising . Your post sounded low babe, I hope things look a little brighter today.

Thinking of you Spanna, I have in my mind that the funeral is tomorrow, I hope you are doing ok babe. Thinking of you too Why and hope you are coping with everything.

Love to all other babes

Welcome Medusa
Where the heck is everyone else these days? Lots of babes that I haven't seen around on ages.
Ds refused to go to school again today. Waiting for the school guidance team to get in touch.
I am at my wits end. He just seems to be unable to cope with secondary school

Welcome medusa, your drinking sounds very much like mine was/is. If I didn't think about it I could easily have a glass of wine a day. It does creep up on you, and I think if you're drinking at home, functioning as normal the next day, no one even thinks it's a problem....

I'm feeling better today beaches, got to the gym this morning and so far have eaten sensibly. I think I always feel like the weekend is a let down so I should really plan forward for that. I don't want to be 'rewarding' myself with wine just for getting through Saturday with the dcs. On a brighter note I had four af days last week which is more where I want to be :)

Well done on the weight loss and the af weekends obrigada :)

Good luck today I'm x

Good to see you isinde

Ma sorry to hear about DS, my eldest is in his first year in junior high (which is like secondary school). It is a big deal moving up, this much bigger environment with much bigger kids. From your earlier posts I have the impression it is bullying, do you think it still going on? I hope the guidance team gave you some practical help. I wonder, like isinde, if another school might be an option. It must be so hard on you too.

Anne I get what you say about the weekend, we sort of spend all week aiming for it and then don't know what to do with it when it comes! Glad you are feeling good today x

Hi everyone. Just checking in for the night. Had quite a bad day today. Just so exhausted. Woke up like a bear with a sore head. Lots of shouting this morning We (me and DD) got out quite early as I couldn't bear being in the house any longer and stayed out until about an hour ago. Went to soft play then to a museum. Luckily DD was preoccupied with playing to mind me just sitting off reading my book on my kindle app on my phone. I am just so exhausted. DD's dad has been away either through work or social events over the last few weeks so have had no time off at all (we are not together by the way, he would usually take her at some point for a bit over a weekend). I have also been trying to complete an essay for my OU course. I am getting really stressed about it. Sometimes I just get so stressed out I just sort of lose it for a bit and I find it quite scary as I am not used to these strong big emotions. I think that is the reason why I drank was because I have always found my feelings so overwhelming. Not drinking/smoking etc has really heightened these feelings.

Evening fellow babes
Mouse anne soc spanna isinde ma why baby joey its hope dancer nuff beaches rural Sui venus pudding rural slap guggs sweet angry
Anyone I missed?

Hope the wine witch has left everyone alone today x

I made it to day 10 today I have never ever done this you are all so fabulous I luvs you all on the shit side the meeting went ok but they wernt impressed with my shiny black eye and scratched up nose, SW told me to call police I'm naughty still haven't done it and carnt.

indie good to see you man. I'm in the sidecar too.
Apart from the issues with ds, I am on the very edge of giving dd1 an ultimatum to shape up or ship out. I don't need rudeness and arrogance from someone e who is freeloading in my house!

Did a spidergram with ds today all about school. Says he feels different, the odd one out and that he's weird. He doesn't fit in. He missed primary school and his friends from there.says he wants to cry at school sometimes but goes outside until he feels better. He is the youngest in the whole school, only just 12 and I do think that's a factor. There doesn't seem to be anything sinsiter going on, he's just overwhelmed.
Any ideas, other than changing school which I think might cause more upset.
He did say he feels left out af home too
Dd1 is 23 and dd2 20 and they have kind of outgrown him. They are adults now and he misses the interaction with them. I feel a bit of a parent failure at the most. Dd1 hates me - and its becoming mutual - and ds is unhappy.
Sorry for the moan.
On the plus side, got a text from dd2 which began
"S'up mawbags? Info update. I got me a sort of boyfriend kind of thing but can't be arsed to go into it, so yeah boyfriend. Whatevs.....see you Thursday for cuddles. Get a shit load of food in.
Xxxx"
I love her!