Questions about on line dating.

[oldfashionedgirl]

So I am single, have been basically forever, and am thinking about on line dating. Quite scared by the idea as I am shy! In a way I would rather be set up with a friend of a friend but my friends are either mainly friends with couples or tend to be a bit wild!

How do you write a good profile? I really am not very interesting so I have no clue where to start!

Do you tell people in real life what you are doing? I wonder if they would think it is a bit daft or pathetic but my friends are all in couples and it is tricky to meet people.

I am realising that I am not going to meet anyone if I carry on as I am doing but the idea of getting stood up is a scary one. Not sure if I have a thick enough skin!

I also feel a bit like I should fix certain things about myself first .... I have lost some weight but am still very much a work in progress.

Yes, definitely have an email address only for online dating. Never be 'looking for love' always fun/friends, etc. Doesn't come accross as desperate then. Trust your instincts regarding weirdo's and I'd do no more than a coffee out during the day on a first 'date'.

And, true, you may not meet the love of your life online dating, but you will have some fun, it will fill time and most of all BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE so that when you meet someone special, wherever, whenever, you will be ready! :)

I did not meet either of my partners post divorce through online dating, but had great experiences and fun doing it. Highly recommend it.

OP

POF is renowned for being a shagging website! Please avoid if you are looking for a serious relationship (and no offence to anyone on here who HAS found someone there) just caution is required.

Lots of excellent advice above. Take it slowly and post on here if you're unsure about anything xxx

If only it were. sigh. why do i always get the angsty ones that think they are romantic?

Don't be too put off by the 'online dating is full of SHARKS' mentality of some... Most online daters are normal people with an online dating profile. I can count at least 5 long-term/married couples who met online (including myself and my fiance).

Agreed, I know far more people who have found happiness from OD (fleeting or long lasting) than been burnt by it.

You just need a bit of common sense and decent self-esteem. Much like "real life" really.

At the end of the day it's just an introductory service.

Agreed again. It's just an introduction. Get offline and into RL quickly, you can get too invested in emailing, it's not a relationship, just go for coffee first and if you're not interested, next....
Use a paid site and if you're sensible it'll be fun. I met my DH online, met a few frogs first, one guy set up a date then asked me not to wear any scent, I cancelled of course.

It's no more dodgy than meeting any other way, my first date after splitting with Ex was with a new neighbour, I'd known him 6 months, seemed like a nice bloke, mid 50s, barrister, interested in food & wine etc, but as soon as I went on a date he immediately started about sex and whether I liked being tied up!

Is using a paid site a better idea then? Hmmm hadn't thought much about which site to pick but was thinking a free one might be better in case no one was interested in me at all!

A free site is good for practising profiles, chatting and browsing.
Paid for is on theory better for finding those looking for a rs rather than sex BUT some of the paid for sites set up fakes and also do offers that users take up short term then leave dead profiles when the offer runs out. you can still be matched with or messaging these dead profiles which is very dispiriting.

Do your research before you go paid. see if you can find things like when were they last online.

I found some sites (eharmony) to be rubbish.

You get more people on sites like POF so more chat and more dates but also the full spectrum from casual shaggers to looking for marriage and a lot in between. more people means more spam.

but with paid for you do not necessarily get what you pay for!

Why not do both? Nothing stopping you putting a profile on POF for free, and a paid for one on somewhere like match. Can even be the same profile - widens your search area after all :-)

Im a POF advocate, but that's because I found someone decent on it :-D

Word of warning. I once wrote a wonderful profile and got matched with a friend of mine and the giant fibs I told on my profile were very embarrassing (gym bunny my backside!)

Ha ha DCRbye that's great!

A friend of mine wrote her POF profile. and got matched to a guy she knew really well and had split up from his wife. They went on a date - and now are living together and v. happy :-)

OP My DB has just ventured into online dating & you would just about be his ideal match. Don't worry about sounding too exciting, it can come across as intimidating to some. I'm not playing cupid. You're too young.

I think my age will be a bit of a problem as I am 27 but am quite old for my age. My friends are mostly mid 30s to 70s!

There seem to be a lot of women on POF and they all look gorgeous. Hmm will have to find a reasonable photograph of myself.

I don't really do exciting - not a big drinking or partying girl!

I doubt your age will be a problem.
A lot of men online are looking for women younger than themselves. i would only have said it was a problem if you were specifically looking for men your own age.

And as has been said not everyone wants a party animal.

Oh I thought that most people would be looking for someone within maybe 10 years of their own age.

Really need to organise all my ramblings into something that I could actually post on a dating site!