The Dating Thread 69

[FolkGirl]

Just because I wanted to be the person to start it really

Welcome one and all.

crow pm sent thanks, feel a bit sick now!!!

Always go for a neutral ground. Go for a coffee etc You don't them nor you.

Will remember that! Not being able to drive might make this dating stuff a bit more complicated.

He said he is happy to meet me anywhere that suits me so maybe busy shopping area with lots of food / drink choices is the best choice.

Wavity wave everyone,

New thread and so far in, sorry not been good at keeping up.

Have seen a chap for date number 2. date one coffee turned into dinner and a bit of a kiss at end. Date 2 he was very touchy feely and holding hands and "we have a connection", but was a bit too full on. Actually told him off at one point when he tried to kiss me.....had arranged date 3 before this point, but rapidly rethinking.........

Hope there were lots of valentines mushyness...........précis anyone??

Big thanks to crow for confirming my fears and saving me wasting another 4 months of my life on a lying prick

Well Im back from my date. It was OK I think. He was quite nervous and bought me a lovely rose, and some smellies and then he bought out this expensive looking box and inside was a beautiful necklace and it wasn't cheap...he kept saying that he hopefully I wasn't intimidated by all this and he likes buying presents. It was a bit too much TBH, it made me feel uncomfortable

Yes jarlin it certainly looks that way.... Just the 4 months of my life gone on this one..... He of course has a perfectly reasonable explanation as cheaters always do (usually involving alien abduction and other rubbish we are expected to believe!) went thru this kind of thing with my ex.... Not doing it again!

Lizzie Maybe he was trying to be sweet but it would make me really nervous! He must have known it was a bit much if he kept saying he didn't want you to be intimidated.

indecisive Wow - that is scary! At least you found out now.

I almost feel obliged to go with him again I cant turn him down it would be like kicking a kitten

Urgh I guess it sort of changes the balance of things. Expensive gift = less likely to turn down another date. But what if you agree to another date and then he buys you something else?

Hi
Date up date,.
Only a short date, went to local pub he seemed really quiet and when we sat Down he said need to talk I thought here we go but no he didn't want to end it but he has drink issues and suffers from mental health problems.
Should I be concerned

Feels weird messaging more than one person at once .... not a problem I expected as I didn't think I would get any messages. I don't know if I am just over thinking it. I mean the men are probably messaging multiple people but if you get asked to go for a date by a few doesn't it get a bit weird? And if you are messaging a few who seem nice, meet them and still think they are nice but like one in particular more what do you say to the others?

I may well be over thinking!

Jesy how many dates in are you? Personally I would be concerned. Honesty is good, expecting you to jump into his difficult life is not.

Lizzie I'm not surprised you're uncomfortable. I think that's quite a manipulative gift.

OFG the men are absolutely messaging several people. It's a good thing, it stops you over investing emotionally. It's unlikely that you will actually want to get involved with multiple men when you've met them, especially if you set your dateable bar higher than "nice". If you do you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Morning All

Apologies for no update last night but it all went so well that I forgot. It was lovely watched a film, he actually stayed over because I felt so relaxed, didn't fully dtd iykwim. He has just left, leaving his films here to watch next time. The only downside is I hope things pick up sexually because for me he is so different to my ex. The ex was EA but sex always fantastic, he was a lot rougher, in the right way, more dominating. Whereas Bricky more gentle and sensitive.

Anyway have to get ready for work now but will have a catch up on all your posts later

We

We on date number 8 now ,he understood about my problems and started to chat November / December time.
He doesn't want to rush stuff which is ok.
It not like he not supporting and his idea of drinking to much isn't same as mine as he said he don't k ow where to stop but I think he does as he'll go off to sleep,nown ppl to be sick and then carry on.
As for depression I can understand that and at least he do e something about it.
I knew he'd been on antidepressant weeks ago as it was something he said and I must admit I'd gone a bit quiet during date trying to take it . All in but I don't know what to-do I like him and today he virtually back to his normal self.
Why you end up liking this type from junkie , commitment phone, to cheating git !

Omg he just called me sexy, as a name instead of using my name. That's put me right off, I so thought he was not a player or like that. My ex called me that and txt me that all the time and it has bad memories for me

Bricky just text asking if we could meet before next weekend as I'm working shifts it's difficult so I said Thursday might be possible and he said" ok sexy we will do something on Thursday" I'm not happy with that at all, I feel like a sex object. I shouldn't have almost dtd

I don't know why men do that - or using hun. Not keen on that! I just prefer to be called my name.

Lizzie The expensive necklace is way over the top; even if his heart is in the right place, it's too much too soon. I agree it kind of puts pressure on you to have another date and keep seeing him, but I don't think it's a healthy start to anything; first dates should definitely be free of big gestures.

The problem in my opinion wth buying gifts at the beginning is that you'll either have to keep buying them (which is ridiculous really) or you'll stop buying them and then it will make you look like a cheapskate and that you were only bribing your date into liking you. Presents are a nice romantic ideal, but they set the dynamics of relationships up all wrong and should stay in 1950's Hollywood.

@Santa I hate women calling me 'babe'.

jesy is this the same man that you were thinking of ending it with in your other thread? He's probably on antidepressants and drinking due to his marriage breakup and maybe you are both hoping you can fix each other by being together.

It is same one, I don't know what to do,he was antdeps till 8 months ago th ink his marriage been over for a while .
I don't want to end it till yesterday I'd really looked forward to seeing him n heart skipped a beat when he texted , we have had fun more than anything I've had before.

Hope it's ok for me to post. I feel like I'm crashing your party a bit. After 6 years celibate after the worlds worst marriage I finally fancy a bloke (Mr Accountant-Drummer) and he seems normal but coming out of a rough divorce. Been out to lunch once - and it really did feel like a first date, loads of questions about our pasts, present etc. I'd like for him to make the running, but I am literally sitting on my hands!

In RL I seem to live in Trollsville. So, I have decided to try OLD for 1 month to get a bit of practice in (and to stop me stalking Mr A-D). I teach adults and so freaked out at the prospect of my students seeing me. How do you proceed? Do you reply to all of them? I hate moustaches - is it ok just to ignore all the ones with taches or should I reply and say umm no thanks?

I have really awful self esteem about my body. I cannot believe that anyone would hang around to see me with my clothes off even with the lights off! Only one person in the last couple of years has fancied me that I am aware of and I am a couple of stone thinner than then, so maybe it is possible.

I've read this thread - and I'm glad that Bant is still here for a male perspective.