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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dodgy text msg from DH....not meant for me

208 replies

fedupandexhausted · 02/02/2014 07:57

My husband is away this weekend on a works conference.... The whole company is there.

I've woken up to a text saying 'lol...have had to come up. It's 321'.

I feel a bit sick but am I reading too much into this?

OP posts:
Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 02/02/2014 09:51

I guess the text before said; where are you? You left your jacket' explanation is the most plausible.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 02/02/2014 09:51

I would never trust a man who lolled.

DorothyBastard · 02/02/2014 09:52

I'm sorry but I read it as giving someone his room number.

teaandthorazine · 02/02/2014 09:54

If my partner rang me in my hotel room when I was hungover to demand I tell him who I was texting my room number to the night before, he'd find his bags on the doorstep when he got home.

I realise that lots of people do have affairs at work conferences etc but, honestly, waaaaaaaaay too much overthinking here.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/02/2014 09:54

Nothing dodgy about this at all!!!

MamaJazzHands · 02/02/2014 09:58

TBH I don't think it sounds dodgy.

My Dh goes away a lot throughout the year. Usually he is sharing a room with someone but as he doesn't drink will go to bed earlier than the others and will keep hold of the room key in case they lose it.
More often than not the sharer will forget the room number and dh will text it to them. Other occasions, something may get left behind so they end up with each others belongings.
Or they may have to go to another room to retrieve their bag as their own room wasn't ready for checking in so showers and changing takes place in someone else's room.
They will also knock each other up in the morning so as not to miss breakfast, (especially after a late night)

The LOL suggests that one of these scenarios is likely if 321 is his room number.
There's also a possibility that 321 is some sort of drinking game. Your Dh knows his limits and bowed out quietly.
Someone realised he was gone and texted him to see where he was.

WeAreDetective · 02/02/2014 10:00

It doesn't sound dodgy to me either

ChilliQueen · 02/02/2014 10:02

I read this as:
"Lots of laughs, have had to come up... it's 3.21am" IE. I'm SHATTERED AND GOING TO SLEEP. This could have been in reply to a colleague looking for him or letting you know he was OK.

I did not read this as:
"Lots of love, have had to come up... it's room 321" IE. COME UP NOW I'M WAITING!! Which would obviously not meant to have been sent to you.

As others have said... phone hotel and ask for room 321.

PlasmaBall · 02/02/2014 10:04

Lol us a response to someone taking the p over him being lightweight, not a response to someone who was expecting to be sharing his bed.

They need his room number because he's forgotten something or to meet in the morning.

The only slightly odd thing is a works do, without partners on a Saturday night? Aren't they usually Fri?

DottyboutDots · 02/02/2014 10:05

teaandthorazine, you are talking rubbish. My husband is not jealous, if he rang my hotel room in this circs and said why he was doing so, i would understand. I might be really irritated but there is no way i would LTB over a phonecall, as that text could have meant anything.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA · 02/02/2014 10:06

I don't see the issue. Even if it is his room number what's the problem? Could be just a friend or colleague coming to see him

CandyJournal · 02/02/2014 10:08

'I can't believe so many people are suspicious. If I got that from my dh I wouldn't know what he was talking about but I certainly wouldn't be thinking he was with another woman'

I agree with this ^

I don't think we should be making the OP more suspicious I don't know how the thought of him sleeping with someone else has come into this situation.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 02/02/2014 10:11

It probably depends on what phone you've got, but any new phone would automatically change the time to your current location, not your home location.

I've taken two iPhones, an iPad, a nexus, a windows phone and Samsung S4s abroad recently, and they've all changed automatically. They still tell you the time in your home location, but they will send messages in the current time zone.

sooperdooper · 02/02/2014 10:11

God there are some paranoid people about, I don't think there's anything suspicious about that text at all

Back2Two · 02/02/2014 10:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

teaandthorazine · 02/02/2014 10:14

Dotty' thanks for the measured response Hmm

Just because it's not what you would do, doesn't mean I'm 'talking rubbish'.

Imo, if a text like that warrants ringing hotel rooms and demanding to know what it's all about, there's a trust issue in the relationship anyway. But that's just me.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 02/02/2014 10:17

I don't know how the thought of him sleeping with someone else has come into this situation.

It came from the OP who was concerned that her husband was texting someone his room number at 2am.

Jaisalmer · 02/02/2014 10:21

I think it's innocent.

Although if he was replying surely he would just reply to the sender, it couldn't accidentally go to the OP? Still think it's innocent though.

I would also send an 'eh?' message back and see what he says.

DottyboutDots · 02/02/2014 10:28

So you would honestly leave your partner, if they called you, after they received that text? Hmm

Mellowandfruitful · 02/02/2014 10:31

The OP has said he has a room to himself so it's not anyone he is sharing with looking for the room.

If the intended recipient didn't get the text, though, presumably they didn't make it to room 321 as they never found out the room number.

verytellytubby · 02/02/2014 10:34

I thought he was giving his room number so his work mates can carry on drinking on his room number. Most hotels don't have a cash bar for after hours drinking.

teaandthorazine · 02/02/2014 10:35

Dotty, no probably not, in all honesty. But...I would be livid, and giving serious consideration to my options.

If my dp did rang me over a text like that, I would have to conclude that he had absolutely no trust in me, and had automatically assumed the worst of me. If there's no trust, what's the point?

If I'd received a text like that from dp, the last thing I'd think was that he was trying to shag someone. And if that makes me naive and stupid, so be it. Rather that than constantly suspicious and miserable.

firesidechat · 02/02/2014 10:38

I'm another one who will usually spot the worst case scenario in a second, but think this is perfectly innocent, or at least a long way from proven bad behaviour.

Yes, he's telling someone his room number, but that could be for all sorts of reasons. Even my cynical brain has trouble making that text into some sort of illicit arrangement.

I honestly can't see where some posters are getting their ideas from and it must be very upsetting for the OP.

everlong · 02/02/2014 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kmc1111 · 02/02/2014 10:46

I send some variation of this text to a work colleague or two every time a bunch of us are travelling together. I'm usually the first to slip away, and I'll always get someone texting asking where/why I've gone and what plans are for next day re. meeting up in morning. Or they'll want some work I've taken up with me or to go over something. And if it's a bigger group there will always be one annoying busybody who wants to know where everyone is at all times. I don't see anything dodgy here.

He's been at this hotel for hours, drinking with a large group of people. If he was planning on getting together with someone they would have had plenty of chances to organise themselves earlier, rather than him slipping away at 2am and only letting the woman know his room number when she notices he's left and contacts him.

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