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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is your husband a miserable b**tard?

48 replies

Northerner · 31/07/2006 11:15

Because mine is most of the time and it's really getting to me.

He has issues with his family and career and has always been hard work I guess and never the life and soul of the party but it's getting worse, and I'm worried it could drive us apart.

I hope I am understanding and supportive but you can only do so much can't you? I am fed up now and telling him to seriously lighten up, he takes that as me not giving a shit and being unsupportive. Vicious circe.

He thinks I don't want him around anymore and don't talk to him but it's hard to break this when he's so bloody miserable.

Can the cycle ever be broken?

OP posts:
Nemo1977 · 31/07/2006 11:17

no advice just empathy as my dh is also a miserable git. He is getting worse as time goes on and dont know what to do about it..I actually suggested to him at the weekend he may be depressed which didnt go down too well.

trace2 · 31/07/2006 11:19

omg you sound just like us, we had a huge row yesterday about him lighting up! its so anoying ive told him if its carrys on we may leave. i hope you sort it soon

almostanangel · 31/07/2006 11:20

mine is but i solved it!
i moved out ........

Nemo1977 · 31/07/2006 11:23

pmsl AAA I have actually considered that...but db 3 is on way so am waiting to check it isnt hormones

Original poster
Northerner · 31/07/2006 11:25

Oh God.

At least us women talk about how we feel - they don't do they? Just bottle things up so it gets worse. I'm lucky I have a fab friend who will always listen (Yorkshirelass you know who you are!!!) but sadly, I'm sure she'd agree with me that he is rather hard work and miserable.

OP posts:
mycatfatzak · 31/07/2006 11:28

Common thread here - northern husbands??!! Mine's the same too - as we speak I've had to leave the room whilst we battle with packing!

mycatfatzak · 31/07/2006 11:29

Whoops forgot i'd changed my name.

it's sarahhal - hope you ok trace, guess you don't need narky husband after the rotten time you've had recently.

trace2 · 31/07/2006 11:30

we talked in great detail last night about it all, every time i tell him he changes for a few weeks then he slides back but last night i told him this is the last time, i am telling him, we have other probs as well hes never wrong and always on at ds for being bad ( hes not and hes only 4.

trace2 · 31/07/2006 11:31

hi mycatfatzak when you going/

trace2 · 31/07/2006 11:32

opps last for nursery

mycatfatzak · 31/07/2006 11:32

It's the never being wrong that really pisses me off too. My DH would argue that the grass wasn't green oh well I read that its's scientifically blah bah blah blah. Oh shut up, have a beer and make me laugh.

mycatfatzak · 31/07/2006 11:34

We should have gone by now but loading the car took ages due to mardy bum repacking a hundred times to get the load right (aah just drive the car!) Not back at nursery now until end of august - having to bloody pay for both of them too all month which has really annoyed me too!!

Original poster
Northerner · 31/07/2006 11:37

Why can't they see it though? Are they blind?

OP posts:
yorkshirelass79 · 31/07/2006 12:02

Message withdrawn

CheesyFeet · 31/07/2006 12:10

Northerner I could have written your OP. I suppose that means that I should have some constructive advice but unfortunately I don't... I just work round it most of the time and every now and again it gets me down and I moan either on here or in RL. Moaning gets it out of your system. I think they just don't realise that moping or sulking rather than talking about things has a knock on effect on everyone around them. I always know when dh is in a mood and it really upsets me, especially when he refuses to talk about the problem. I think he is depressed but won't admit it. I have suggested to him several times that he needs to get help and he always says he will, but then never does .

Is it just northern men (dh is a Yorkshireman )?

Original poster
Northerner · 31/07/2006 12:13

My dh is a Yorkshire amn too....is this a trend I wonder?

OP posts:
mycatfatzak · 31/07/2006 12:25

And another Yorkshire one here!

lazycow · 31/07/2006 13:11

No - but I am

Lemmingswife · 31/07/2006 13:15

Yes my husband is a miserable bastard! We are in the process of seperating though!!

trace2 · 31/07/2006 13:33

my hubby yorkshire too

cremolafoam · 31/07/2006 13:36

yes i have a grumpy old git too. miserable about work angry and frustrated in big huff nearly all the time.Its like having an extra teenager. lucky us

tenalady · 31/07/2006 13:37

Yep sounds like our house too. Funny isnt it what brings people together. I was always the bubbly party type but living with him as brought me down to being sober and chatting on mn.

When you are not feeling at your best this melancholic state of mind they get in really gets to you especially when you are tired and kids are round your neck, there just aint time for tea and sympathy for them.

tenalady · 31/07/2006 13:40

Northerner, 'why cant they see it though' Havent you worked it out yet, it all our fault you know

cremolafoam · 31/07/2006 13:42

tenalady- me too bubbly outgoing old sort- dh - deep suspicion of everybody and hates to socialise. i am now a housewife who sits on Mumsnet too

trace2 · 31/07/2006 13:43

when i met dh he was fun we used to go out and he would dance and be a right laugh, he was a tonic for me i had just been throught a rough divorce, oh how thats changed he dont even smile when ever we go to partys he dont drink dont talk dont do any thing only are we going yet.

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