Why do I feel like this?

[CrestaRun]

It"s my 50th on Monday & DH has already spent a massive amount on me, which is lovely and I'm extremely grateful to him.
Today he tells me he'd planned a surprise for my birthday but it can't happen now without my input, so he's had to tell me, hence spoiling the surprise (this doesn't bother me, he's the one wishing it was still a surprise btw).

However, I'm really really 'meh' about the surprise, even though it is something I've wanted for a while! Why? Why? Why?!

I can't decide if it's because the 'surprise' element has gone, although I'm not a 'surprise' type of person, or if it means I just wasn't THAT bothered about the item, or if it feels like he's trying to 'buy' my love/affection because our marriage isn't always that great.

I feel completely 'flat' about the gesture, even though I think it probably is meant with love.

Yep indeed you can only change yourself, put up or shut up, I guess I'm realising that I'm not sure I can put up anymore...

I'm sure there is a 'tipping point' for everyone. I used to wonder why friend's parents often split up after the kids had left home... now it makes sense.

Thanks qs. It's possible I suppose, although I'm fine everywhere else, just my marriage that I'm questioning. My friends/ work colleagues wouldn't have a clue how I feel 'cause I'm fine when they see me.