he lasted longer than i thought

[wontletmesignin]

I sent him packing in early november. He was very EA to me and my dc.

I have had NC at all since then. He has tried, but i ignored at all costs.
When i got the non-molestation order, he breached it and ended up being arrested.
Pleaded not guilty and so waiting for trial.

Anyway, since the arrest i havent heard a thing. Peaceful to say the least.

Only yesterday he subscribed to my youtube channel.
I dont really use it. It just popped up in my inbox saying he has subscribed.

Im quite shocked, considering we should be looking at going to trial sometime this month.

He is not allowed to contact me in any way, shape or form.
Which is quite annoying, as technically he hasnt contacted me.

Do you think this is worth mentioning, or should i just leave it. I guess i should expect some form of contact very soon as he couldnt resist the urge to click on 'subscribe' which is just pathetic in my eyes.

Maybe his way of saying "im still here"

So my question is: do i wait for the actual contact, or mention something now to stop it going further.
Which it may actually not. Fingers crossed he just leaves it at that

Right so all that's (supposedly) happened is she's found a lump in her breast? Which could be anything. But she won't go to see her GP because you are refusing contact.

Even if any of this story is true, none of it is your fault. This is just ludicrous emotional blackmail and if you fall for it you will make your life ten times more difficult.

She's a grown woman. She can make her own health choices. You have been told explicitly to keep away from him and you have no way of knowing whether any of this is him manipulating his mum into sticking two fingers up to the non-molestation order. I'm sure your solicitor is going to advise you to avoid having any contact with his family; this isn't the time.

Ignore. Not Igor. No Igors here :)

The emotional black mail is abuser/manipulative twat 101.

Ignore ignore ignore.

Her choice to go to a Dr. Your's to keep your family safe.

How dare she do this to you (it's all bollocks btw)

I don't think it's even true, actually.

Thank you all.

It probably isnt true. Even if it is -i wasnt the cause and i am not at fault for her choosing to not get it checked.

It is very possible that he is behind all of this. Again the youtube thing points towards that.

I hope it is all lies. I really do

Yes, I hope it isn't true - both for her sake and yours. But even if it is true, all that's happened is she has found a lump. She hasn't been diagnosed with cancer and is refusing treatment, which is what the texts are attempting to imply. It could be anything. Trying to make herself believe she has cancer just to spite you is sick, doubly so when your mum actually has been diagnosed.

No good can come of giving in to that kind of manipulation.

It is crazy how easily people can sway your mind.

I have had a good think about it all today.
I cant believe how inwas considering contact.
This woman took my child and told me she was keeping him!
This womans neighbour told me the same, along with a death threat.

Now they are trying to get to me emotionally, and it nearly worked.
Through help from the SW telling me i should consider it to keep links with that side of the family.

Why should i keep links with that side of the family?

She fed my son crap, she had him on a bottle still, she smoked heavily and continuously around him (GM, GF and neighbour), she has people.in her house who talk about killing people and hitting people, swearing all of the time.

I dont want my son around that. Yet she comes across as if butter wouldnt melt.

I have always stuck with "you are what you hang with"....yet i ignored the people she hung with and went on what i seen of her.
Got her true colours though, didnt i.

Im going to stick to my guns, even with SS. If she wants contact. She can get herself a solicitor and take me to court.

I'm loving the new you in this last post!! Stay strong; they WILL try to wear you down. And report even though the officer may sound bored or fed up with you.... I hope you're keeping messages for proof. But you sound really good. Hang on to that.

Thank you!

That is why im pleased i have the email address for the officer lol. I can just email everything if i worry about phoning. That way i cant tell if he sounds sick of me or not.

Yes - i have kept every text message.
Still cant get hold of my solicitor. Rang a few times today. She is apparently going to call me back. Hmm i wonder if she does!

Thank you!

That is why im pleased i have the email address for the officer lol. I can just email everything if i worry about phoning. That way i cant tell if he sounds sick of me or not.

Yes - i have kept every text message.
Still cant get hold of my solicitor. Rang a few times today. She is apparently going to call me back. Hmm i wonder if she does!

Thank you!

That is why im pleased i have the email address for the officer lol. I can just email everything if i worry about phoning. That way i cant tell if he sounds sick of me or not.

Yes - i have kept every text message.
Still cant get hold of my solicitor. Rang a few times today. She is apparently going to call me back. Hmm i wonder if she does!

Oops sorry for triple post!

I don't think you need to delete your Gmail account if you want to delete your YouTube channel, just your Google + profile:

support.google.com/youtube/answer/55759?hl=en

Brilliant. Thank you. I have just deleted it!

I didnt use youtube or google +

No you don't want your son around that!
Keep re-reading that post if they start to get to you.
Well done with that strong post - you can only get stronger now!

OP - it's been said before, but grandparents have NO right of contact iwth a grandchild. They can apply for contact, but it has to be shown to be in the childs interests, not theirs.

Let them take you to court. But be aware that if he gets contact (unsupervised) he will probably take the dc there. (Don't know your back story, sorry)

I will. Ill keep re-reading it.
I very much doubt he will get contact. SS are backing me with that one.

I also dont believe either of them will take me to court. I dont think they would be able to get the money together.

His mother is already in massive amounts of debt that her DH knows nothing about. So i doubt theyd get the money

Just thought. If this is all down to him.
Then my being cold hearted and ignoring the guilt tripping texts and deleting my youtube account.
Then he will be losing control.

Uh oh

Yes. Be careful, and expect him to kick up a fuss (ignore and report, lather, rinse, repeat as necessary).

But you're doing the absolutely right thing - protecting your child and yourself. And there's many of us cheering you on.

Take care. I'm glad you have seen through the manipulation. Call the police if you feel threatened at all. Don't worry about botherin them. Doing this stuff is their job.

Thank you both.
I am doing the right thing. It gets clouded at times, but it definitely is the right thing.

I will continue to report. Its the not knowing what happens next thats worrying.

And youre right, it is their job to deal with this kind of thing. I worry too much.

Even if i am bothering them. Its better to be safe than sorry.

I knew there would be some kind of contact after the youtube thing, and i was right. So im pleased i did report it!

Ive had another text from GM begging me to answer the phone, stating the SW said she can phone me. Ive got 3 missed calls.

I feel awful.

DON'T RESPOND. They are trying to hook you like a fish. You owe these people NOTHING. They have been abusive towards you and your child. This is being orchestrated by your ex with the express purpose of hurting you.

Just to remind you: this woman took your child from you and said she would keep it. She might try to do that again. But in any case, that's completely unforgivable, and grounds to go completely no contact with her for the rest of her life.

Please ignore the pressure to be "nice". Ignore the guilt trip they are trying to lay on you. These people are vile and manipulative. Protect your child and yourself. I guarantee you that this woman will certainly take care of herself.

Im not but im finding it really difficult. She says she is in by herself and her heart is breaking for my ds.

I keep telling myself. They didnt care about my heart being broken when they took him from me!

My solicitor isnt in the office. She isnt returning any of my calls. The police have passed the message over to the DV violence team.

I am hearing nothing back from anyone!
Ive tried phoning SW - no answer.