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Original poster

Too much of an age gap?

132 replies

fluffyduckie · 16/01/2014 19:04

So it isn't really an issue as it is just a crush but do you think a 20ish year age gap is too much?

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffyduckie · 21/01/2014 07:10

Dropping a pencil sounds like a carry on film! Oh I am going to be so rubbish at flirting.

I don't know if he is the flirty type - he is quiet - either that or he has just never flirted with me!

OP posts:
MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 08:50

Joan collins?

pinkflaming0 · 21/01/2014 08:52

I was hoping for something a bit more 'real life' than Joanie!Smile

neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 14:58

It's a pity it's in the workplace really and you can't have a drink to give yourself a bit more cheek.
What kind of shop do you work in?

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 15:18

well, my friend's husband is four years younger than she is and they're very happy. That's about the biggest age gap (in that direction) that I can think of - that has worked over 20 years....

I think men can tell if you like them or not. Can't they? Confused

neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 15:22

My brother's wife is about 12 years older than him and they have been together over 20 years. It's probably not a good example though because they don't like each other.

notso · 21/01/2014 15:32

Two of my Mums friends are in their 60's and have husbands in their 80's Both are pretty miserable and are caring for elderly parents as well as an elderly husband.

neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 15:43

MaeveWest - you'd be surprised at how many men have no idea and have to have it spelt out. I'm the worst offender. Totally clueless.

Original poster
fluffyduckie · 21/01/2014 16:55

We don't work together - he is my friend's boss. I don't think I have any cheek!

I don't know how he hasn't guessed as I blush and get so nervous when I talk to him. Always seem to say something daft and make a fool of myself! Surprised he hasn't picked up on it unless he has and just isn't interested.

OP posts:
neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 17:15

Can't your friend just say to him, "what do you think of fluffyduckie?"
If the feedback is good, then she can say, "she'd really like to go out for a drink with you".(then next time he comes in the shop, drop a pencil on the floor :) )

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 18:55

Thats why that book by greg somebody (american) is a load of manure. He reckons in his infinite wisdom that women can never do the chasing. And not even chasing so much as just...... making it clear that they like the man. He seems to expect women to wait to b chosen pretty much. Well that has not worked for me 0_o
I have noticed somebody at work too. I almost go out of my way not to flirt if i like somebody tho. I wish there was a way to test somebody, like ask them a favour..... not foolproof though as some people cant sau no and like to b liked

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 18:56

He's just not that in to you. That's the book. A lit of it made sense but it was all a bit passive from a woman sitting around waiting for something to happen's perspective

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 18:57

Im going to knock a stapler off my desk tomorrow

Original poster
fluffyduckie · 21/01/2014 19:12

I am going to mention it to my friend when she is back from holiday. She isn't really approving though as she thinks he is kind of boring!

Oh I would really prefer not to do the chasing at all! But I think that with him being older and quiet nothing would happen. I would really rather not be the one who asks ......

OP posts:
MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 19:18

Yeh two people who dont chase equals no pasa nada .
Im going to have to be a bit more proactive myaelf in the future. The thing is some people can shrug off being blown off. Id have to emigrate.

Original poster
fluffyduckie · 21/01/2014 19:24

Grin Yep! If I actually dared to ask him out and he looked horrified and said no ..... well I think I would have to consider becoming a nun. or at least changing my shopping habits

Maybe him not chasing is just a sign that he isn't interested in me. I mean if he was attracted to me wouldn't he say something or at least hint at it .... it isn't as though I am scary!

OP posts:
neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 20:10

You'll never know unless you at least make an effort Duckie

Maeve, I know it's against everything health and safety tell us but when you pick the stapler up, don't bend your knees. It'd also help if you looked back over your shoulder and gave him a cheeky grin. You could even bite the nail on your little finger at the same time if you really want to go for it.

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 20:57

ha ha, they might send me on a manual handling course!

nickymanchester · 21/01/2014 21:04

I think men can tell if you like them or not. Can't they? Confused

Generally not. At least from my experience and that of my friends.

A lot of men, I've found, unless you are really blatantly obvious are generally not that switched on to any sort of signals.

Of course there are also plenty of men that also miss any obvious ''I'm not interested'' signals and try to chat you up even when you think that you're making it clear that you're not interested.

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 21:05

just read the bit about biting the nail on my little finger, omg, I'd be talk of the office if I did that, not in a good way, I'd have to ring in sick, with a case of shame, and psychiatric evaluation.

Fluffy, are there any women out there who just put it on the line like that, spell it out, I like you do you like me Smile and then afterwards, shrug off the humiliation?! who are these people?

nickymanchester · 21/01/2014 21:08

I would really rather not be the one who asks ......

But getting your friend to let him know that you're definitely interested isn't actually asking.

You're just letting him know that if he were to ask then you would say definitely yes.

I think you'll find that a lot of men are just as nervous of rejection as we are.

nickymanchester · 21/01/2014 21:10

MaeveWest

are there any women out there who just put it on the line like that, spell it out, I like you do you like me

I know that it sounds just like being in school but, as I said several pages back, get a friend to say it for you.

neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 21:39

Some blokes are scared of rejection. One of my mates doesn't care at all. I asked him if he made a move on 100 women and 99 turned him down but number 100 said yes, would he consider it a good night? He said he would. I said after the 2nd knockback, I'd go home a broken man.

MaeveWest · 21/01/2014 21:55

Just reading some articles on line!

if a man does a shoulder shrug and then rolls his shoulders forward and puts his head to one side while he smiles at you, chances are he likes you.

hmm, I don't think the man in my office is interested, but I think the man in the sandwich shop might like me Confused

If 99 men knocked me back I'd be so depressed... I'd need therapy, not romance!

neiljames77 · 21/01/2014 22:04

That man you describe Maeve sounds like he's break dancing. What does it mean if he does a moonwalk?

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