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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is he a Mommy's boy?

47 replies

IsHeAMommysBoy · 14/01/2014 01:00

Met a guy online a few months ago. He isn't very experienced with the opposite sex. He lives at home with his parents as he says he financially supports them. He said he is looking for a mortgage this year and has discussed moving out with his Sister.

He is a friend of mine on FB. He has a high paying salary. We have talked a lot on the phone and Skype. He has been badly used in the past by three other women. He is infatuated with a married woman at work and they have kissed. Hmm

We arranged to meet this March but he said he couldn't stay out overnight as his parents and family would ask questions. He is 33!!

Should I cut contact with him?

OP posts:
Blondeorbrunette · 14/01/2014 01:02

Yes. But not because he maybe a mummy's boy, but because he is infatuated with a married woman.

See those hills, run for them.

Original poster
IsHeAMommysBoy · 14/01/2014 01:06

Yes. It is so wrong. He is obsessed with her.

OP posts:
Mellowandfruitful · 14/01/2014 01:12

Too many red flags here, especially the other woman he's obsessed with, never ever mind the parents. I would back right off. Stop the long talks. It sounds as is he's happy to have you as a conversational partner but is unwilling to commit any more of himself.

KitsVegetable · 14/01/2014 01:12

Agree with Blonde. Why would he tell you that? What a messy situation.

Also badly used by others, bitchy about exs, being a victim etc not a good sign to be saying this stuff early on.

Sorry I wouldn't take this further.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2014 06:35

Parents don't ask half so many questions about a grown man's whereabouts as a partner does. Hmm A crisp tenner says this man bears no resemblance to the picture he's painted of himself.... the married woman, the 'user' exes, the high salary..... being single...

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/01/2014 07:06

You really know nothing about this person apart from what he has told you online (and that is bad enough. Three ex's, a married woman, him apparently living at home supporting parents); I would walk away and stop contact as of now. There are many red flags here. Hills are that way >.

brokenhearted55a · 14/01/2014 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 14/01/2014 09:07

Why are you even bothering with someone who's obsessed with a married woman? I mean, how did you see this playing out?

Just get rid, he sounds a total mess.

Offred · 14/01/2014 09:10

Red flags - 33 and 'not very experienced'
Lives with his parents
Slagging off exes
Inappropriate infatuation
Oversharing
Poor boundaries
Not responsible for his own life (can't stay out overnight)

Don't know why you'd be entertaining the thought of meeting him! You don't even believe what he's saying to you - "he says". Is this where AF says he must have a cock of gold?

AnyFucker · 14/01/2014 09:12

Do you not get out much or not have much experience with men ?

AnyFucker · 14/01/2014 09:13

Ha, cross posted with offred

This poster hasn't met his cock yet, so can't even use the "cock of solid gold" excuse

Offred · 14/01/2014 09:57

She may have met the cock on Skype for all we know...

AnyFucker · 14/01/2014 09:58

Ugh

brusslesprout · 14/01/2014 10:18

Run for the hills! My BF is a mummy's boy, we are living with his parents and his Mum still makes his packed lunch. It'd be funny if it wasn't so tragically depressing! Sad

Original poster
IsHeAMommysBoy · 14/01/2014 11:38

blocked, deleted last night. He is an utter mess!!!!!

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 14/01/2014 11:45

He sounds like a player. Perhaps he lives at home because he is supporting children from former relationships?

In fact, is he actually single?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/01/2014 11:50

Brusslesprout,

Why are you and I say this most kindly, not taking your own advice here:-

"Run for the hills! My BF is a mummy's boy, we are living with his parents and his Mum still makes his packed lunch. It'd be funny if it wasn't so tragically depressing"

Your BF will likely always be in thrall to his mother (theirs is a symbiotic relationship and certainly not a healthy one) and you will always come a dim and distant second to her.

ROARmeow · 14/01/2014 12:00

Run, like the wind.

brusslesprout · 14/01/2014 12:00

AttilaTheMeerkat I am trying to take my own advice but didn't want to turn this thread into my issues haha!

Offred · 14/01/2014 12:08

Ha ha! Glad to hear it op!

Agree brusselsprout, should start your own thread maybe?

Original poster
IsHeAMommysBoy · 14/01/2014 12:13

I have not seen his cock. What an accusation!

Hmm

He spent a bit of time trying to convince me he was going to cut contact with the married woman but urgh! He is a player, a user and scared to get a life!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2014 12:29

I wonder if 'Mommy' is in an advanced state of decay and kept on a rocking chair in the cellar? Good call OP...

brusslesprout · 14/01/2014 12:31

My friend always said if a guy treats his Mum well that's a good sign?!

Offred · 14/01/2014 12:32

Ha ha! 'Twas not a serious accusation more a reference to a MN meme!

Offred · 14/01/2014 12:36

Brusslesprout - not exactly in my experience. Some men with Madonna/whore complexes who can be exceptionally lovely to their mum and terrible to a partner.