The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

Talk to him and see how the conversation goes!

You can get a much better idea of how someone is by actually talking to them.

Regarding the first episode of getting your details mixed up; well it's been quite rightly pointed out to me that online dating is a number game so you should expect that whomever you are talking to may be talking to other people at least at first anyway.

I would say worth another chance, but watch out for more red flags!

You mean talk to him on the phone? Before deciding if I want to actually go ahead with meeting on Friday?

Re: the first episode: I wasn't annoyed that he was chatting to other people. So am I! I was just wary that his knee jerk reaction was to criticise me!

Hi Green

Yes, it is a numbers game to begin with . Someone I was chatting to got some details mixed up with another chat he was having and he tried to cover it up when I (jokingly) pointed it out.

I think we all know that people are chatting to others and multi dating in the early days, but it really put me off him. I suppose I just thought he should have been a bit more attentive to what he was doing and realised t whom he was talking at any given time.

I did give him another chance, but I'd already lost interest really.

Yes Folk Girl. That is how I feel and I regret giving him my number. He's bound to be a short arse. I deserve better, Goddammit! ;-)

Yes, I think the knee jerk reaction to criticise you is the concern. Tbh, it was the attempt to cover it up that put me off the chap I was talking to, rather than the fact he was talking to other women. After all, I was talking to other men.

dont thanks. I hope it helps. Feeling positive about it. Sounds like things are back on track with geeky then! That's really good to read.

I'm guessing you've read the rules, Green. You are the prize...

I'm quite short 5'3 and the chap I'm seeing is probably around 5'6. I quite like it actually. It's nice being able to kiss someone without standing on tiptoes! I wouldn't discount someone unless they were shorter than me. But that's only because they'd be pretty short to be shorter than me!

cynical that text is really off putting. Yuk!!

green yes I think it's usually a good idea to speak on the phone before meeting up as you do get a better feel for what they may be like

jarlin do you think I should offer to pay half the meal? When we went for drinks he had already started a tab behind the bar so it made it more difficult
Actually I don't know if I'm over my ex really, or at least not over his horrible treatment of me and annoyingly remembering the times he was lovely ( which I so don't want to think about)

Jarlin I don't know! I'm currently going between being really angry at him, thinking I'll ignore him and find someone who won't mess about, to kind of believing his story and knowing that I'm soft and will probably go round to his again if he asks me to. Now there's loads of questions cropping up in my mind, I hate that

Ok so I've just had some texts from date the other night. Is it me or is this bloody annoying/ boarderline odd/ controlling??

Him: have a good day at work hope you slept well
Me: thanks. Rubbish sleep though, feeling tired
Him:try and have a nap later. Make your room nice and warm, get a blanket, have hot milk, tv off, try to relax, close curtains and you might doze off

Wtf? I think I know how to get myself to sleep, not that I can when I've got work

Since then I've had 6 texts all in space of 10 mins offering various solutions ( his words)

That's a bit much, Santa. Although maybe he's trying to show concern and making a bit of a hash of it?6 texts in 10 minutes is excessive at this stage though.

Geeky has been texting again this morning. I am very happy with him. He's just amazing. I'm going to try and chill out a bit.

dont glad it's going well with geeky

I like concern, if it's genuine, but seriously, how can you have genuine concern for someone you've only met once and over something as simple as them saying they had a poor nights sleep and felt tired?? It's not real is it

I was very attracted by the fact that we can speak in his language. There aren't many of them! So yes I probably will speak to him on the phone and take it from there :-) If he's an asshole, that will be clear on the phone ;-)

santa I'd read that as him showing concern and going a bit OTT.

And no I haven't read the rules. Can I read them on this thread? What are they? :-)

The Rules: (C&P from a previous thread)

1. Develop a thick skin
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon
3. It's all BS until it actually happens
4. Trust your gut instinct
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. Loo update is mandatory

Jarlin he didn't specifically say he wouldn't, but I'd like to think he knows that it's not something he should do again!

Finally got a message back off someone on POF, he wants to 'video call' later which isn't something I'm necessarily against, but I'm a bit paranoid about if it can be recorded and uploaded to t'internet. Has anyone else done it?

I don't like video calls personally. It's a bit sleazy even if its not sleazy iyswim

Thanks for the rules. Not sure I understood the last one! Thanks. That's helpful.

OTT scares me, isn't it a sign of possible EA/ controlling behaviour further down the line.? I'm starting to see how much ex has affected me. Every man is measured by his yardstick, good or bad. I need to get on freedom program

Oh dear I can't do the mandatory rule, my phone is prehistoric

crow I wouldn't feel comfortable video calling either with someone I hadn't met. Same it feels sleazy even if it isn't to me also. I do sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with my mindset not these men's

Oops I meant green