The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

I'm always an 8 or 10 in any shop - but now I'm worried I could be less attractive to him if I put weight on. He did say it was fine if I put weight on when I have a baby, as it's temporary. I am pretty controlling, so I doubt I'll put weight on. He also only likes women who are younger than him!

I do still love him, so I'm not going to end it or anything, but we've not texted since 3 today and it's usual for us to text 100 times a day. I'm leaving him to process things for a while now.

He is lovely in so many ways. Like he'll bring me a bag of jelly beans, as he knows I like them. Little things like that. It was just so amazing in Paris and I want to hold on to that.

Oh dont I hope it all works out still. Just don't minimise any red flags because of the good stuff (I know that saying that is like teaching grandma to suck eggs )

Hi All

Can I join again? Have decided to give online dating another go. Am on one paid site. How does everybody cope? I'm not sure I'm of the temperament to. I have been chatting to 3 men in particular, one of whom I'm meeting tomorrow night, the second in meeting on Friday and the third is moving to my area from down south to live in a weeks time, so it's been suggested we meet up sometime

It all feels so weird to me as previously I've only ever had one man in mind. Also I know I'm not the type to cope with seeing them online if we meet and decide to have a second date. Yet from what everyone says it's the way everyone does it. How do they decide to stop window shopping when there's so much choice and temptation. In other words if a man has started going on there is he likely to keep off it in the future?

As you can probably tell I've got a history of men lying and cheating on me

Folk, thank you and I am aware of the red flags. But he's worth a try, I think.

Also, I think you should open the email. It could reassure you :-)

I am so tempted to text geeky - but I won't. He needs to miss me.

Bant, I will give him some leeway. He needs to adjust.

Santa, it is tough. I noticed geeky online after date 1, but not after date 2. I think you just have to take it as it comes and not think too far ahead. I think a lot of people do just want someone to settle down with.

"How do they decide to stop window shopping when there's so much choice and temptation."

They'll keep going until the only thing left in the box is the turkish delight.

Also one thing that springs to mind is what makes a man stick at the relationship especially when the going gets tough now, as it's so easy to use one of these sites as escapism. I'm scared of trusting anybody as I've been let down and I'm sure my ex was up to things like that. Although I only had suspicions and gut feelings and he made me feel it was all my fault he ended the relationship because I was paranoid

MadeMan

I love turkish delight. Probably why I've never had a problem getting a bloke

dont was dipping in here and noticed your post about geeky. How long have you been with him? I can understand his problem with sleeping with your DD in bed as well - tbh I can imagine my bf would find that odd.

The thing about coming by bus to see you is his own decision - I'd feel a bit surprised if my bf didn't park his car here but in the end it's up to him.

I still find integrating the worlds of "my children and me" and "my bf and me" a bit tricky to cope with sometimes and we've been together nearly 2 years. There's not ever been any reason to worry but I know it's something I think about and sometimes wonder about what it will be like when (hopefully) Mr Nice and I do live together.

Hopefully this is a blip but a relationship should be about give and take on both sides. Talking about things is very important I think however hard it is sometimes.

jarlin read the email. He said that as far as he's concerned he really likes me, he really enjoys being with me, misses me when I'm not there, we are exclusive and he's happy to just see where things go.

That's good enough for me. It's sort of where I am too, really. I just didn't like the not knowing.

jarlin it's horrible isn't it. I know if I start falling for someone again I will have all sorts of things going through my mind. I'm scared I will drive them away. I never had any proof my ex cheated just little things that could have been suspicious and him blaming me for being paranoid so it's still in my head that maybe I was and I will scupper every future relationship.

All quiet on the dating front for me, was talking to someone who sounds nice but he lives more than an hour away and has his kids every weekend...sods law really. He's not suggested meeting up and I wonder how it would even happen anyway! hey ho.

Bant not been speed dating and somehow it doesn't appeal, bad enough with all the dull conversations online without doing a whirlygig of three minute slots with unsuitables offline.

dont - Seems like he is trying and I can understand the bed thing with your DD making him uncomfortable. Does he have any kids? You are at the stage now where 'real life' etc is kicking in, so might be a challenge but if both your feeling are strong I'm sure you can both adjust to each other's lives.

The bed thing shouldn't have happened and I hope it doesn't ruin things. I texted him goodnight, but I think he must be asleep. Or he hates me and is ignoring me, which is always a possibility...

He doesn't have kids.

Hi all, dont I agree that maybe the honeymoon period is starting to wear off a little bit and reality setting in, that said he sounds like a nice bloke so am sure he isn't ignoring you!!

Folk yay can I just do a whoop whoop at you sounding the most positive you have sounded in quite some time and for not finishing with what sounds like a really nice guy

Well smallfeet has just left, its been an okay evening. He did a few things tonight that annoyed me a little bit, sometimes he comes out with some views which I totally disagree with (pro death penalty ) but then I am feeling a bit tired and grumpy today so maybe its more me than him!!

I have invited him to a friends wedding in April and he has invited me to his sisters wedding in August!! Planning things that far in advance does freak me out slightly but I am trying not to panic!! We also discussed Valentines day today which I am excited about

Morning thread! Niceguy just left....we spent the whole weekend together. Saturday was really lovely, we walked for ages through the city, went to the art gallery, stopped for street food and then to a park, a pub when it got dark, and then for the date we had actually planned in advance. I was supposed to be doing something with friends yesterday morning, but then wasn't able to....so we spent all day yesterday at mine, alternating between watching silly films in pyjamas, and other stuff . Then he was supposed to leave last night so he was at home before work today....but he didn't. Dreamy sigh. That was a pretty good weekend.

Dont Wowza....I can't add much to what everyone else has said I think I agree with what people have said - the views on women's size are just unacceptable, however feeling uncomfortable with a 6-year old child in the bed is understandable (but could he not have moved to sleep on the sofa?). The rest of the pickiness/OCDness would also be a big problem for many people - if it was something he had a problem with, I would expect him to be doing something about it. How are you feeling today about everything?

Catch up with everyone else later have to dash to work myself....with a big stupid grin....!

Oneday that sounds like a perfect weekend!

Geeky texted back last night saying he was cool and he hoped I was too. I've now deleted all his messages and his number, so I can't text him until he texts me. I could message him on facebook, but I won't. Feel a bit flat, to be honest. We are supposed to be going out tomorrow, so I'll hang on till he texts me and hopefully we'll have a better night.

dont why all the drama all of a sudden? Unless I'm missing something you left it ok with him and apart from less texts since then I'm not sure why this sudden shift in your attitude towards the relationship with the deleting....do you think you may be reading more into it than there is? Did his say he's cool sound 'off' to you?

Yes, I'm a bit confused as well, tbh. You seem like you've backed right off and I don't really understand why.

Dont I think all this will be okay if you can just talk about it. I am a bit confused too and I will bet that he doesn't know what's going on either. Saying he's cool and hopes you are sounds fine to me. Did you reply at all? If you are seeing him tomorrow, would it be worth having an honest chat about some of your concerns and see what he says?