The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

HiJarlin, it's a tricky one as you are already doing all you can to show him you're interested. I think by now you should have at least kissed, and the lack of that physical contact would concern meet too, he could be unsure of making the first move for fear of rejection but it has to happen at some point...and soon..else it could very switch off for you, would you say there is a 'spark' there between you?
Sounds to me like he's comfortable taking it slow, you just have to decide how long you're willing to let things go on like this, you may well end up losing interest if it doesn't progress, I think I would. Perhaps see how the next date goes and then decide?

I decided against seeing Mr Seems Ok again, hey ho.

Jarlin four dates since November would not be good enough for me. You can't build rapport, get to know each other and combined with a complete lack of anything physical I'd have let it dwindle away by now.

You say you're feelings have grown, but do you actually fancy him? Do you think he fancies you? Someone being nice and normal is not reason to date them (although lack of it is very much reason not to), maybe there's a reason why there's not much oomph?

What do you want to happen? If you think you could be really into him and want things to progress I think you need to be proactive, but I think you have to be prepared that you might expose a lack of foundations.

Hi, can I join and ask for advice. I am dipping my toe into on line dating and not sure what the best sites would be for me, I am late 40's and just looking to go on a few dates and see what happens. Have put myself on OK cupid and have been bombarded is this normal. Also trying EHarmony but seems terribly long winded. So such looking for tips what to expect.. Also veyr suspicious about blokes posting early hours of the morning, just have visions of a poor wife in bed with no knowledge what her sleaze ball DH is up to, am I over thinking this?

Ugh I have a serious case of princess flu. Feel like death warmed up. Between that and really not feeling positive about Mr Registrar I'm severely tempted to cancel tomorrow's first date. Feels awfully mean though. I can't wait to see Mr Niceguy on Fri and really hope I feel better for that!

Mr Camera is texting, but very annoyingly! All his sentences! End in exclamation marks! Which makes me feel like he's shouting! Or hyperactive! Maybe it's just cos I'm grumpy about feeling icky.

Meh.

deliberately good luck for today!

I find POF ok, Eharmony you seem to get these really long winded conversations and then nothing and well OK Cupid I am being contacted by boys young enough to be son, for goodness sake why are the bothering, why would good looking lads be interested in an old bird like me.
Am I being old fashioned but I kind of want a man to chase me this time, or should I be making contact, I dunno, please share your thoughts. Also do you tell people in RL you are on line dating?

Jarlin could you not put the moves on him next time you see him to speed things up a little? Maybe he's really nervous about it and needs a little kick up the backside? Personally I would have given up on him now or been looking at other options while waiting to see what happened with him, but I'm quite impatient!

As for me I can practically hear the tumbleweed blowing past. Still not heard from Comic Book Guy despite him saying he wanted to meet up so sent him another message last night even though I know I won't get a reply, think I wanted him to feel a bit guilty. Also messaged someone I matched with on Tinder, he was online at 3am (always seems to be on Tinder in the wee hours, not sure if that's weird or not) but didn't reply. Hoping he's waiting until the daytime to get back to me, feels like I'm talking to myself

blossomflowers as for what to expect I'd say 'anything and everything'! Just keep your eyes wide open as there will be all sorts, paid or free, I haven't found a lot of difference, there have been timewasters on both...but also quite a few genuine ones.
Be careful of anyone trying to get you to go to skype / messenger etc off the site as it could be scammers, after all, if you're able to email on the dating site why in heavens would you want to move to another type of email??
I prefer to chat on the phone and then if we like the sound of each other, meet up...but you go by what you are comfortable.
I agree guys on there late at night, or who never seem to be free at weekends etc are most probably married or in relationships and looking for a lifeboat to jump to or just seeking cheap thrills.

Oneday - the !!! would annoy me too, I was messaging with a guy once and every sentence no matter how mundane, had a ! mark...I actually asked him why and he got offended...I wouldn't even get as far as a date as I know just by the texting style we wouldn't be on the same wavelength.

Thanks Hansel sound advise this is the sort of thing I need to hear. I agree talking on the phone is good gauge I think. I think I will take everything with a huge pinch of salt

jarlin I can see no where on OKcupid to control who contact me, like on other sites, or maybe I am being thick. Well the filth that has come through

I found OK Cupid to be rubbish, full of creeps and the site looks and cheap.

I know what you mean but then I think I am on there and not a creep or weirdo, well not that weird
Please tell me what you think of this ( sorry to keep asking dumb questions) I am chatting to this chap who seems to be nice quite flirty but ok, we have agreed to chat tomorrow on the phone and he has given me his mobile number but he has now removed his picture, when I asked why he said he always does this when chatting, not sure what to make of that?

Also, it's a very un-userfriendly site I found, the searches were all over the place, I tended to get messages from everywhere and anywhere and the 'conversations' seemed to go nowhere.
Most on there are already on POF as well which is a better site in lots of ways.

Blossom - I would read that as he's already attached.

Jarlin nothing at all, I had a phone conversation with someone yesterday but didn't like the sound of him, he waffled on and on and on.

Really hansel oh shame but has given me his mobile number ( could be fake one, oh god getting mega paranoid about everything

It's the only thing I can think of Blossom - I met a guy who used to do this and when I finally met him for a date he admitted it was because he was living with someone! Live and learn as they say. Your guy saying 'he always does this when chatting' is not really a reason or a satisfactory answer is it??

You are right, I want a better explanation or I will block him, does not make sense really. He photo was there then suddenly removed.

Hi all. Need to do a major catch up on thread. I don't have my picture up all the time on Pof. If someone asks I'll put it up for a few minutes. On occasion I will put it up while online. I'm not in anyway attached of trying to hide anything. Just another perspective on it.

pow I can get that as sure some people are worried about being recognised.