The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

Feel better now. A bit. SoftKitty I took your advice and have logged "it" with 101.
They could not have been nicer but I did feel like a giant plonker.....

Oh my goodness captain that is scary. Sounds like you've done the right thing getting it logged. Hope you're ok.

oww geeky knows about the ex situation and he's fine now. He's just so lovely and makes me so so happy. It's not my fault if my ex can't cope with that.

Got my euros today!

Good for you Captain, hope 101 were helpful. I'm sure you won't hear fom him again - if you do, tell him you've already reported him to the police and to leave you alone.

Don't Oooh, not long until Paris now!

captain well done you for googling him...mind my asking how you do that without a last name? worth knowing just in case. I don't think you'll be bothered again and you've taken all the necessary precautions, just ignore if he contacts or be canny and say you've changed your mind, no need to let on to him that he's rumbled.

Date was...a bit, I don't know..pah. The rapport wasn't there as expected and he had a slightly annoying inflection in his speech...I know, maybe I'm being picky but it matters...to me!
We left it with a nice to meet you and I thought I wouldn't hear anything which would have been better but he text not long ago to ask to go out again...I really don't know. He was nice, could he grow on me? should I see him again just to see? Bother.

Hansel, he has a very unusual first name (it's the make of a car), told me he was a doctor and where he allegedly worked....typed those three things into Google and up came a long list of Tweets from various acounts with reports of the "alleged" conviction of someone with the first name for harrassment and pretending to be a doctor...full name! Googled that name et voilá, there he was in all his glory; pics, twitter account which had some of the same narrative as his OKC profile page....not rocket science really

Dont...soooo excited for you that Paris is so near now!!! It is a city for lovers....sigh....

Oh and Hansel, there is nothing wrong with being super picky!!

Hi all, good to hear some of you are doing really well.

captain sounds like you had a lucky escape - i am also poised to take notes on how to google people after hearing that! Hope you are OK.

dontcallmehon I feel for you, I have a twatty ex too. I hope he doesnt spoil things for you.

I have another novice question for you all: a couple of people have asked me to not contact them via the site (OKcupid) but by email or skype instead - what's that all about, does it mean anything or not?

I emailed back the Sailor (who has asked me on a date) and asked him if he actually lives in this country and if he is actually single. Feel a bit mean, but the last bloke I emailed turned out to be in an open relationship, and living in another country but planning his holiday here.

Hi All - I generally post here about once every twenty threads!

Mummy in my experience it's because the bloke has convinced a woman that they are exclusive and he doesn't want to be seen by her on the dating site(s) so he's keen to move to private e-mail super-fast, often before it seems decent. I was the exclusive woman. Unfortunately for him my twat radar was twitching so I honey trapped him with a fake profile - worked like a charm.

Captain...so sorry. The others have given good advice. Dont worry too much. We can all be naive at times. I hope you manage to move on from this. What an ass he is!

Thanks beforeandafter makes sense...more questions... and do you all have any rules about how many emails you expect to swap before going on a date? Sailor guy has just asked me out on the first contact, we havent chatted at all. Is that normal?

Hi mummy (that sounds weird!) normally I would expect to exchange a few messages before being asked out. However I have one friend who is now married to her 'match.com asked me out straight away' chap!!

What is his profile like?

Oh Captain, that is really scary and reaffirms my belief that with od if he looks too good to be true he almost certainly is!!

Wow, there's been lots of action all round this weekend ladies!

• Update on my date yesterday (date number 4, but seems like I've known him for longer) - it was AMAZING! Probably our best yet, and surprising because it was quite impromptu. We were only planning to meet for an hour or two as I was supposed to be meeting a friend later in the evening, but it ended up being 5 hours :) Lovely chat about plans for the future (in general) - I asked what his dream was, and one of the things he mentioned was 'a nice family (i.e.. kids)' - aww! We couldn't keep our hands off each other and very nearly went back to mine, but didn't as he had an early train this morning to go away for for work. I didn't even mention the being online thing - in all honesty, I feel a bit stupid now for getting myself so worked up about it. The way we were with each other yesterday just seemed so relaxed and natural that I'd be surprised if he's meeting other people/talking to others online. Fingers crossed, as I'm really starting to fall for him....

Softkitty - Ooh, sounds promising re MrCoffeeshop! Lots of compliments and a proper snog too - perfect! :)

Oneday - that's good to hear that decent ones actually turn up to those events! How exciting! yay!

Kscience do you have a favourite between the two potentials?

Captain that's awful! At least you caught him out early on. God forbid, shudder to think what might have happened if you'd begun properly dating him. Scary to think that there are men like that who've been caught out before, yet still go out and do the same awful stuff time and again...

Daisy I'd run a mile from that one. Starting out with someone with major issues like his doesn't bode well...

Lies - 3 nights in a row?? You lucky thing :) Sounds great. Like you say, so much has happened in 2 weeks. It's a good feeling when you feel so comfortable with someone in such a short space of time isn't it?

Hormonal - yes, dodgy as anything. WTAF, asking you to go for an interview as his PA - based on what??

Hmmm Hansel, if there's no banter, not even a little bit, I'm always wary of them being too serious/just not on the same wavelength

Dont - yup, your ex is jealous as hell that you can actually be happy and have found someone who is lovely. Why does he expect you to give him lifts around town?? You're not his slave!

Flora sorry, didn't see your update re Number - oooohhh! That's what I like to hear, not even making it to second course :)

Mummy no rules do what you feel is comfortable. If it seems like an alright thing to do (other than the inevitable nerves) then that's fine. If your gut is telling you it's too soon, then listen to your gut. I think the longer you have been OD, the keener you are to meet sooner rather than later. It is a numbers game and whilst you may meet Mr Right on your first date, it might be your 21st date (hopefully not), so if you've been at it a while, you are more likely to avoid the preamble of the email/text exchange, which actually tell you very little and get straight to the date.

tiger so pleased for you after your little wobble the other day. Got a big grin on my face for you and so glad you had a fantastic date!!!
And yes....it's a great feeling

Thanks Lies we're seeing each other again on Thurs.
God, I fancy him like mad!! :)

Hi all

Tigerbear, looking very promising bet u so excited!!

Don't what an ass your ex has been. Typical men, don't like it when u have a life and not sat around waiting.

Thanks for your advice about mr dodgy! Needless to say I didn't go to meet him. Told him I thought was dodgy n not heard from him since.

I met a guy in RL at weekend, he really sweet n seeing him tomorrow so fx!!

Hormonal fx indeed (love that shorthand, shall be stealing that!) do tell us more

Hansel did you decide to see Mr SeemsOK again?

Lies who told you your photos are bad!!!!??? how rude! And 3 nights in a row.....sounds intense.

So I went on a first date last night with Mr Saffa, who was lovely, entertaining conversation, seemed to get on well, etc etc.... didn't really feel a massive spark though (or even really a hint of one) and when I got home I was just thinking more about Mr NiceGuy....sigh. I think my mind is elsewhere! Can't wait until Friday.

Tiger that sounds great, hope it carries on in the same vein. It's great when dates go on much longer than expected because you're enjoying yourself so much, isn't it? Did you rearrange your friend then?

Flora Oooh, you got your dessert alright!

I haven't heard fom Mr Coffee Shop since Sunday evening and I initiated that contact. I'm not sure what to do next. Should I contact him or wait for him to contact me? This daing lark is bloody complicated!

Oneday so nice guys do win after all! Wasn't unduly offended by the bad photo comment...was actually wrapped up in a massive compliment but will definitely have someone give my photos a once over if there is a next time....which I sincerely hope there will not be

I think I would message Mr Coffee Shop kitty, it's only been a day or two so no need to worry unduly. I'm not a big one for following rules regarding who initiated the contact, if he likes you he will be pleased to hear from you. If he doesn't, then it really doesn't matter and it will be his loss. Personally from what you've said previously I think it will be the former...

Just had an interesting video from my first experience in online dating - one up from a cock shot...lovely! How glad am I that he is in my past. Block and delete.

Thanks Lies, DS and I are off to see my friend and her kids after school, so I might message him tonight. I really hate WhatsApp sometimes, as you can see when someone was last online, then you start wondering why they haven't messaged you . He's probably waiting or me to message him .

I dread to think what was in your video.

Sorry this is a bit of an update and run, life as ever is busy, busy.

Surprisingly, but very acceptable, Mr OMG and I are meeting up tomorrow. We haven't seen each other for ages, due to serious problems within his family, that I do know are true. Anyway, he changed things around a bit, and we are off for a daytime date. Our first date was more electric than I can put into words. The spark between us is unreal. Second date we DTD and I thought I had been shagged then dumped, but no, we chat every day and as I say are meeting tomorrow. Bloody hell, I am 48 years old and feel 16. I can't wait to be in his arms again. No sex this date, we are doing a re-run of our first date, which was magical. Can't wait.

I will read up later tonight and add my (admittedly very rose coloured waffle.)

Deliberately...cant wait for an update. Hope it all goes well. He sounds delicious! How old is he?

Number 4 and i still going strong. Im trying to hold back a little though for fear of it going tits up. Fingers crossed it doesnt.

Aww deliberately you sound just like me!!! That Katie melua song keeps popping in my head

Yuck, lies the video is taking things to another level!

deliberately that's amazing - so glad it's all going so well! Sounds good for you and number 4 too, flora

Geeky and I are still in love. We spend a lot of time looking at each other. We have a song! We share a very childish sense of humour. And we are off to Paris on Friday!