The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

H&G not been off OD had coffee a week or so a go with nice chap but he was not interested in anything more. I have had a week of messages from chaps in foreign lands or 20yrs my junior (same age as my son)

But approached a couple of chaps and been chatting yesterday and today. So lets see,

One day that sounds more positive. I am booked onto one of the match.com nights at the end of the month.... how cheesy is cheesy?

Ugh been messaging a guy back and forth for a few weeks and exchanged numbers and have been texting a bit and then he texts a few days ago saying
"are you happy?" Oh God, i had been getting the feeling he was not over his marriage breakup (he has two young boys and has already says he really misses them).
I cheerily messaged back saying something along the lines of "I'm ok, got to look on the bright side of life la la la" but clearly this is not good right? He is depressed and hung up on his ex. I am hung up on my ex but at least I hide it and don't talk about it hahahahahaha

Hi dating peeps, please tell me what u make of this.

Started messaging a guy a week ago, nice pics getting on great. Mentioned to him I need a job, this was Friday (he quite high up working for Yorkshire tv) he then tells me few hours later that he wants to interview me to go and work as his PA. We not had a date yet. Does this sound dodgy?

hello ladies, can I join you? I've just signed up to OKCupid, its my first forray into OD and I could do with a bit of hand holding. So far searches are very discouraging, I'm not in the UK and in this country there is not nearly such a nice choice of men as I see on sites like GSM. :-(

Has anyone/would anyone go on a date with someone who you really dont like the look of from their photo but comes across Ok (if a bit needy) on email? God I feel a bit desperate... thats option number 1,

there other one is to message back a guy who says he is a Sailor (!) and will be in town on the 27th. Talk me through this please!

hormonalhell I am brand new at this so not sure my advice is the best, but yes that does sound dodgey to me.

Don't glad things went well, how was today? and Tiger how was today too?

kscience how cheesy - it is what it is I guess! We had locks & keys to start conversations and you also were supposed to find the other half of a celebrity couple you'd been assigned, to give you excuses to start talking to people. Although this worked to my detriment as I was dragged away unwillingly from my initial conversation with Mr Niceguy by someone who had been informed I was the other half of their celebrity thing....and then I lost Mr Niceguy. Until me & my friends gave up and went to sit down and just have a drink, and there he was on the next table .

Hormonal that sounds dodgy as fuck! I'd probably give him one chance asking if that was sarcasm/bad joke. Otherwise would delete.

Mummy hello and welcome! I'm sure I've dated your option number 1 guy several times!!! The looks thing wouldn't put me off a first date but the neediness might. But maybe a 'practice' no pressure date would be useful to you anyway, and you never know? Sounds like Sailor guy is just looking for some fun - what are you looking for?

Mr Niceguy has asked me out for this Friday, (I told him that's the first day I was free) and bought tickets for something. Whoop whoop now just not sure how to handle the other guys I have dates with. I think I'm going to not change anything for now. I don't want to be diving in too fast, that way craziness lies. But Niceguy does give me tummy butterflies, and induces obsessive message-checking behaviour. Sigh.

thanks oneday, I have actually set up a coffee date with Option1. I like your idea of "practice date", it'll be my first internet date ever, so I might as well do my novice moves on someone I am not that invested in!

I am looking for some good company that hopefully turns into something more. I have 2 kids, have been single for 3 years, and as an ex-pat my circle of English speaking friends shrinks frequently as people move on or back home, so I am getting lonely! I would like a good looking, educated, considerate, solvent, English speaker who loves kids. :-)

Sailor says he works for Norweigan cruises, and his profile is full of pictures of him either in uniform or exotic locations - looks and sounds nice, but it doesnt scream "family man" - still havent replied to his offer of a date, still considering....

Good luck for Friday! Sounds like a good plan to keep the other dates in place, dont invest in one too soon, without being really sure!

Hi all...quick update on me and Mr Number 4. He came round for dinner...didn't quite make the second course....he stayed over. Was lovely.

My ex had another strop. Didn't turn up for kids and expected me to give him a lift somewhere as he'd abandoned his car the night before, drunk. After geeky left, he turned up swearing at me in front of my neighbours and threatening to withdraw childcare. So my babysitter will take over when I work and ex is banned from house. He can take dc out, but he doesn't come here and swear at me. He's angry that geeky met dc, I think.

Geeky was fab with the dc and I love him more every time I see him!

Sounds good, flora

girlie I've been with geeky for three months. It feels like longer!

oneday glad things seem to have gone so well!

hormonal nice to see you back on the thread. I'd agree, it sounds dodgy to me too.

Flora - amazing!!

Dont - your ex sounds like a psycho he seriously needs a reality check. Sounds like you have handled it well though, if he comes round and does that again I would call the police. How old is he? He sounds massively immature.

He's 33. But v immature. He's living at his mum's due to gambling problems, so he's been insisting he has to look after dc here when he has them. That can't happen now. He just won't have them if he won't take them out.

He was angry because I wouldn't tell geeky to leave early, get 3 dc dressed and into the car, in order to drive him somewhere that is ten minutes away by tram. He also made me 1 hour late for work by not turning up on time for dc, but luckily client 1 had cancelled. I was told to 'fuck off.' Nice!

He realized how I was serious about geeky and he can't cope. I feel like me and geeky are a unit and can cope with this stuff now though.

My experience with technology are as follows if this helps....
POF,in the early days i wasnt being paid enough attention by DP (IMO) so checked the site, it said he'd been online 1 hour previously. I confronted him with this and he swore that it was because he never logged off the site on his phone, and when he got home his wi-fi automatically showed him as being on-line. I believed him because hes a trustworthy person (i never even went back to the site to check-sometimes you need to show trust).
WhatsApp, i sent him a message last week while he was sat next to me. It instantly showed 2 ticks i.e read & delivered. His phone was in another room.
Technology isnt 100% reliable.

Hi all, good to read all your positive updates - so glad some of us are having a very positive time lately!!

Had lost the thread as you lot had merrily skipped into thread 68 without me even realising....was a bit busy you see Met someone through OKC (registered there since I had heard it mentioned here).

Fuck me sideways with a broomstick, he is gorgeous!!! And a doctor!!! and interesting!!! And I snogged him!!! And he can kiss like the clappers!!! AND....of course he was to good to be fucking true

We were talking for a few days online, then a few days on the phone and met him for a drink on Friday. Lust at first sight. Bloody gorgeous and his pics did him no justice at all. Lovely evening, bit of a snog. Muggins here goes home and contemplates taking up residence on Cloud 9 for a bit. More fool is me.

He has been texting me all through the weekend, he had a lovely time too yadda yadda yadda and can he see me again on Monday. Well, yes please! All arranged, he would pick me up in town and we would go for dinner in this lovely pub restaurant near me.

1.15am (yes, 1 fucking 15) my phone starts spuwing out messages from him. He can't afford to take me out, he is in some sort of trouble and how he could not tell me since he was desperate to see me. WTAF?!?!

Don't think I will be seeing him again. Not sure OD is for me; after the "digitally challenged one" (please don't let another row ensue over that, I will promise not to call him Mr Nubbin again), I have now encountered Mr Problemsville. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Like someone said, maybe I will have to kiss a few more frogs before I find someone worthwhile. I live in hope and am glad that at least the fucker snogged like a champion!!!

The 2 ticks on whatsapp doesn't mean the message has been read. 1 tick = message has been sent from your phone to the server, 2 ticks = message delivered from server to their phone. Doesn't mean they've read it. You can switch off the ''last online'' timestamp so you don't know if they've been online since message was delivered (although, if you are both online at the same time you can see).

I think the wifi showing you as online on dating apps is true thougth - I get new messages from OKC whenever my phone is connected to wifi so think I must be showing as online.

captain was it the paying for dinner he was worried about? maybe he's got financial problems which wouldn't be a deal breaker in itself would it?
Is he really a doctor like he says? sorry but got my cynical hat on through too much OD!

Got a coffee date at 2pm with Mr Seems Ok, very hard to judge as like his name suggests he seems nice, reliable, etc but we have only spoken once and exchanged a few texts so hard to get any grip on his personality. His texts are quite sober and not a lot of banter / rapport (in fact none!) there. Shall see.

Morning All!

dont glad you and Geeky are staying strong together with regards to your ex- you're handling it really well.

flora really pleased things are going according to plan and you had a great time

captain what a shame. Do you know what the "trouble" is? If it is insurmountable get kissing those frogs....

Agree with all on the technology front, easily misinterpreted. Online does not necessarily mean online! Recipe for confusion and mixed messages!

Hi mummy welcome to the thread. Photos aren't everything, if you're getting on well, get a date in. You only have to go on one after all. I have been reliably informed that I am far better in real life than on any of my photos and indeed some of them are "bad"!!!!! I never realised.

oneday glad everything went well for you...well done on the willpower!

hormonal dodgy as a dodgy thing!!!!!

I have spent the last three nights with Mrtwohours. Things going according to plan, we're booking a few days away for in a couple of weeks...excited!! Hard to believe that this time two weeks ago we hadn't even met

The PA thing sounds really dodgy sorry Hormonal.

Not sure about the doctor, Captain - could be genuine or could be some kind of ridiculous nonsense going on, all depends what the actual situation is. I have what on paper is a good, professional job and due to family commitments etc there are times when I couldn't afford to take someone out for a meal. Like now, for example! I've been hit with Christmas bills, car insurance, house insurance, new school shoes, some repairs to the house etc etc since last pay day so I can see how it could happen.

Glad it all went well with Geeky and the dc Dont but your ex sounds like a total nightmare. Does Geeky know about his recent behaviour? Hope all is well.

Lies sounds fabulous.

Good luck Hansel - enjoy Mr Seems OK and your date!

Okay. Have googled the fucker (obviously should have done this sooner!) and now I am scared. He was convicted in 2011 of 9 harrassment charges against 3 women. He is not a doctor. Nor is he a pilot or a security agent as apparently he claimed in spme of his other fake profiles. He used a fake surname with me. First name was real. Pics were real. The rest most definitely wasn't.
He knows which village/town I love in but not full address. Fuck, he knows where I work!! Am seriously kacking my pants here now people. Have blocked his number on my phone. It's the only number he had. Anything else I should think of??
I consider myself fairly intelligent and bollocks, bollocks, bollocks I almost fell for that crap!!!!
Have deleted the two profiles I had on two different sites. Can't do this if it actually scares me, right? Also found his twitter account once I had figured out his real name; foul mouthed rants that would make a sailor blush. Inane. I am at work but could really break the habit of a lifetime right now and try a whiskey...so upset and angry with myself. I fucking snogged the fucker. Feel the need to brush my teeth. Sorry for yet another rant people. I just seeem to attract numbnuts, deviants and total scam artists

Am so angry that i would just love to plaster his name and screen name here. But I won't. Not getting banned for a muppet like that

Captain Don't beat yourself up, this is not your fault, it's his. It's unlikely that anything will happen but if it does, ring the police straight away. You might want to ring 101 now anyway, just to ask their advice.

He sounds like an utter fruit loop but not all men are like that, so please don't think they are.

Oh Captain...what a total and utter knobber.

I think you have probably done everything you need to. Have you reported his profile? I would do that. I reported two people on POF who were using photos of someone else...one rugby player and one the diet coke guy and they were removed within 24 hours.

He doesn't know your address so you should be safe and luckily you were not in too deep. Hopefully he'll get the message and just stay away from you. Agree with everything kitty has said...not you, it's him and we're all sucked in with varying degrees of untruths at different times. Some people unfortunately never learn and are better at lying than telling the truth. ((Big hugs))

Captain don't beat yourself up about it, there's no way you could have known beforehand, men like that are always good liars and charming to start with. Just be glad you found out early and hopefully you won't hear from him again.

captain oh wow that's awful!! I would say what a knobber but clearly this is someone with serious issues. Agree report profile to dating site- can you just block his profile rather than having to re-do yours though?