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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 68.

999 replies

Bant · 13/01/2014 23:45

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

OP posts:
DeliberatelyDreaming · 16/01/2014 18:59

LBP Bravo to who ever it was who did take the legal action, I detest bigotry of any kind!

Humour is an absolute must for me. I have a guy who I did meet for a date, but we have become firm friends rather than anything romantic. He is absolutely wonderful and can make me laugh until my sides hurt.

tigerbear · 16/01/2014 19:10

bant your mention of the penis email made ME laugh! :)

HanselandGretel · 16/01/2014 19:56

deliberately do you have his number Wink??!
What gets me is I was chatting to one guy recently and we had lots of back and forth humour going between us, seem to really hit it off that way and then ...poof, he's gone, same with number 4 re the humour but again....disappeared into the ether without so much as a whiff of a cappuchino coming into the equation...obviously don't know a good thing when they message it!

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 16/01/2014 19:57

Thanks for all your advice earlier about Mr 4. He called very early this morning, waking me up, to tell me he really wanted to give it a go. So im going to and baby steps.

Nice...what an ass!! I got a random once slagging off my profile. I blocked immediately. Im sure there wll be lots of men delighted that you made them a favourite.

Love reading all your updates. Will be back layer with personals.

Oh...anyone seen MasterPo? Missing her :0(

Snapespeare · 16/01/2014 20:03

I felt a little reticent about checking in. But everyone else has... I didn't want to be tarred with the brush of 'old', yet here I am...& it's nice to be referenced occasionally, thank you. :)

Me and nameless are still nameless and I. I adore him. He (somewhat misguidedly) tells me I am beautiful and that he is thinking of me when we are apart. We're very almost at a year & celebrating that with a filthy weekend at a hotel in ....maidstone. fuck you paris.

I've met his mum and dad, meeting his sister in a fortnight; his fab dad got a pension windfall so has bunged him a thou and he's taking me on holiday, consequentially, my damn straight feminist sensibility straight down the middle is utter out of the window.

All is well. And all is well. All manner of things will be well.

And as for voldemort (some of you,less old than I may not be aware; I had a close male friend, there was a song and dance, I showed my hand, it did not end well...) well, really, who gives a fuck. Grin

I am very, very happy. OD worked it.

tigerbear · 16/01/2014 20:11

Flora - aww, that was sweet of him to call this morning. Fingers crossed :)

Snape - thanks for giving us all a glimmer of hope that this OD thing can actually work! Congrats! (oh, and lucky you re a holiday - have an amazing time!)

TalisaMaegyr · 16/01/2014 20:13

Lovely update Snape. So very happy for you Smile

DeliberatelyDreaming · 16/01/2014 20:45

Snape SOOOOOOOOO good to see you back on the thread, even if you are a loved up person now. I was going to post a Envy face, but am actually rather glad of some time out. Have you seen anything more of Volemort since the beautiful book you made him and everything that came to a head after that? I can't help but think fate played her hand just right and he who shall remain nameless appeared just as you needed him too. Smile

TalisaMaegyr · 16/01/2014 21:01

Totes agree with Dreaming Grin

Where is Master btw?

Snapespeare · 16/01/2014 21:04

I've bumped into voldemort once or twice and swished past with my head held high and without so much as a backwards glance but I might occasionally stalk him on twitter

I wish him well (insouciance) but I doubt that will happen.meh.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/01/2014 21:16

Evening all.

I too laughed at Bant's penis joke Grin

The whole thing about not being able to specify bisexuality is very odd. I was going to say laughable except it isn't funny Hmm

My stay on the sofa has been very short - I have a date tomorrow night with N. He sent me a message on my first or second night and we've been chatting since. He's a little older than I normally go for - my search is my age plus 10 ie 45 but that's a very arbitrary choice
He is very lovely, says my photo is gorgeous. He's not so bad himself Grin He's making all the right noises but as we all know, it is all bs until it happens.

OhWesternWind · 16/01/2014 21:36

That's a crazy situation Pigsus and yuck about all the lecherous straight blokes, what a shame you have to actively take steps to avoid a bunch of sad pervs.

Good news about the date Title. I'm a big fan of older men - Alpha is ten years older which admittedly is a little older than I'd normally go for, but it works very well. Loo update?

Glad to hear your news Flora. Did he talk about why he'd said what he said?

Snape just Grin

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/01/2014 21:46

Seriously OWW do you really need to ask about a loo update? Grin

OhWesternWind · 16/01/2014 21:47

No one seems to do them any more and I need my vicarious excitement Title!

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/01/2014 21:49

Ha! I will certainly update. I have lived vicariously through others often enough to realise the importance!

Though I don't know why you're living through others, you loved up person, you...

dontcallmehon · 16/01/2014 21:53

Just checking in today. Nice to read the updates too. I hope I'll be updating in a year with tales of bliss!

tiger Thank you - I really hope he does like the dress. I think he will.

Thanks, 49 -nice to hear your positive update too!

Nice what a horrible specimen he was. Why are some people so inadequate that they like to put others down? Definitely says more about them!

Snape I'm sure the filthy weekend will be fab!

Bant that sounds like a good idea, I think OD can be quitedraining and it's good to have some time out.

8 days!

Diagonally · 16/01/2014 22:11

Hi all

Could I have your advice please on ending conversations on OD sites if you're just not feeling it, iyswim? Do you just not reply, or is a polite fib thanks but no thanks better?

I've had people drop me mid exchange and not thought anything of it but not sure what is the norm Smile

ALittleStranger · 16/01/2014 22:16

I think it's fine to disappear but I might be one of those bastard men in disguise.

DeliberatelyDreaming · 16/01/2014 22:28

Diagonally I have always said something along the lines of "it was nice to chat with you but I just don't feel we could take this any further. I wish you well in your search". Anything after that I blocked!

tigerbear · 16/01/2014 22:28

Diagonally - when I first started OD I'd get really upset if people just didn't reply after a few emails, but I've now realised it doesn't really matter, and I've done the same to people.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/01/2014 22:30

Yep, I'm with Tiger. I don't intend to disappear. I always intend to end like Deliberately suggests but often life gets in the way and I fail. So I can't really complain if someone does that to me.

OhWesternWind · 16/01/2014 22:38

I don't think it matters either Diagonally if its just been a few messages.

When I deleted my profile both times there were one or two men I'd been chatting to for a while, so I just sent them a quick message saying I'd met someone, good luck etc, but certainly not to all of them.

dontcallmehon · 16/01/2014 22:38

I'm like that too - or I was when I was online - I couldn't keep up and I'd drift away if I wasn't that into them.

I started getting nostalgic for old threads and I found this old post of mine on thread 64:

'Fingers crossed I meet someone nice soon!' And then, a few weeks later, I did! Smile Yay!

HanselandGretel · 16/01/2014 22:38

Diagonally That's a tough one but I would send a 'not feeling it' message if we've been messaging steadily for let's say a week or so....if messages have been sparse, sporadic or just not amounting to anything then I would just leave it and just discontinue, unless they asked me what was up.
I've had the disappearing act from ones that were talking about coffee, had built a rapport with etc (see a few posts above) and it's only because of this that I've thought, 'what slippery merchants'...or something equally polite Wink Also, ones that disappear and then reappear (which I've had the pleasure of happening too Hmm tend to get a fairly big ignore from me, whereas if they had said something reasonable at the time and not just disappeared, I might have been inclined to give them the time of day again.

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 16/01/2014 23:05

I do that...i have a blanket statement and i just change the name. Im a fan of blocking too as that means your conversation with them disappears off both your inboxes.

Oww...Mr 4 said he felt that i was really understanding of his situation and he felt an affection for me! So all good. He said he thinks i deserve a treat after my EA ex so hes taking me away for a break :0)

Quick question...this weekend is the first stay over and full on sex i hope. However, im a bit body conscious eg. 2 c sections left a flabby bit which is hard to disguise. My tum not flat either. Happy with rest of body. Not sure i want him to see me completely naked. What would you suggest?