The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Nuff

Ah yes but did the rocket do the trick

Completely agree with your DD, she's got a good insight into the baselines of these fairytales. Tangled is a good film, but yet again handsome prince yada yada (where's my prince I wonder? isn't he supposed to be on a white stallion in shining armour???) I must have been distracted with my mud pies and worms

Awesome moon tonight ladies, anyone seen it?

Moon is fab. Was driving home as it rose behind the Forth Rail Bridge with a wisp of cloud across it. Wish I'd had a camera.
Well done to all of those at the half way point and still doing well. I am completely lapsed again and cross with myself. I had been losing weigh nicely and am now undoing all the good work. D'argh

Don't beat yourself up ma you had a birthday drink, and that one always leads to another... but you KNOW you can do it again!

I've had a Eureka moment... doing so well with dry January but not so well with diet... and I have managed AF because of all the stuff learned on the Bus. Like - not giving up if I have a lapse etc.

So I suddenly realised I could apply the same logic to the diet... ie. not just quit because I don't feel better after only 10 days.

Hi babes, am back after a busy few days - read back some, but only this new thread as you move so fast these days, Gerald is fairly whizzing along.

First of all big belate birthday wishes to Mouse and Ma. Baked some fairy cakes for the bus - luckily for you my virtual baking is Mary Berry standard, unlike my RL wonky efforts! Hope you had a lovely day ladies.

I'm - so sorry for all the stress you are under. There are many babes on here who have posted wise words, having nothing to add except my support and cyber hugs ((( ))))

Why, sorry about your friend, how awful. Just shocking. Hope you are OK and getting some support from your family.

Well, I have made it to Day 12 today. I feel good, apart from general stress and tiredness, and am getting to the gym. Not getting any thinner, despite my dd putting a 'bother me' note on my phone saying 'remember to diet'. 10 year olds are so harsh!

One side effect of not having a drink to bury my feelings is an alarming wish to change things - usually it is 'bad day at work, have a drink', 'husband is an arse, have a drink'. Now it's like - 'oh, dry January, maybe I should look for another job as I'm so unhappy', and 'Oh, promised myself and the babes I wouldn't drink, perhaps I should give him an ultimatum to get work or get out.' I am alarming myself though as I am scared of change but without my comfort glass of wine, can't get away from the things that aren't OK unless I (eek) make some decisions and act on them. Anyone else experience this?

To distract myself, have been enjoying your musical memories of the 70's and 80's (I am 46). Loved Parallel Lines by Blondie, and who said 'Hayzee Fantayzee' ? I remember asking my mum to go into HMV and buy me 'John Wayne is big leggy' and she went in and asked while I was at school and they hadn't heard of it (I heard it on a John Peel session before it charted) and mum was furious with me cos she thought I had made it up for a joke to make her look a fool. When it was finally on TOTP I dragged her in from the kitchen to show her .... aww, getting all nostalgic here. I also had the biggest crush on Terry Hall from the Specials, and Adam Ant, haha.

Spanna I did see the moon tonight, it was amazing. Feeling a little wobbly this evening and wondered if it was in fact the effect of the full moon .. not that I am particularly new-agey or anything but I do get all hippy-ish over the moon some nights...

Sorry to be such an intermittent poster but you are all in my thoughts a lot, steering my hand away from a glass of wine ...

Well done to all babes still abstaining, hello to new friends, love to Soc, Beaches, Baby, Smurfette, Anne, Slap (nice new name) Faire, Isinde, Joey and everyone else on earlier pages.

Tuck into those fairy cakes babes, I am off to make a Horlicks and read my book... living the dream, me...

Hope lovely Babe so good to see you and thank you, Fairy cakes are yummy

Love your Hazey story - moons ago I worked for our price and we used to get people coming to the counter on a busy Saturday, saying 'I've heard this song and it sounds like' and they would stand and hum it, or sing it. as the queue formed down the shop

Day 12 is amazing Babe. Well done Yes it's quite scary how everything we've avoided through the alcohol haze begins to become clearer and clearer. High five from a fellow 46 y.o

and keep posting x

hope I was nodding emphatically at your post, sobriety brings so many positive realisations such as I have finally seen what the bottom of my laundry basket looks like, I am actually a good mum and that the steam cleaner is actually a very effective tool!! However there are things which alarm me through my sober less baggy eyes, my 14 year old should not be so cheeky to me, my 3 year is wild not just lively and most alarmingly my dh is not as funny and charming as I think he is (post vino) I take responsibility for most if these scenarios as I have not been really PRESENT for a long time through my drinking, depression and generally lack of zest for life. At least I do know I'm a good person and over time all of the above can be fixed except dh who needs a new jokebook and to know he has the old me back again to charm all over again. This brave new world may be scary but not as scary as the life we all had before, hugs to all brave babes hanging in there and to those struggling tonight xx

Aw thanks lovely Spanna. Hee, I remember Our Price shops. Saturday round town, buying Miners make up and hairspray to keep my crimp in. Sausage and Chips in Littlewoods cafe, then debating what records to buy then going home and playing them over and over till my friend's dad told us to put a sock in it!

Ooh, cross post, hello baby ... Yes, my house looks alarmingly untidy without a glass of wine too, although dh hasn't been funny for years, at least in the comedy sense . Night babes x

Baby I can so relate to your post re my DDs but not with the clean house mine is still a mess the clarity of mind is scary. I am definitely a nicer/better Mum and I know my DDs have noticed which is a good thing

Hope mine was Saturday in the Wimpy buying a milkshake and making it last all afternoon

Beaches how's your day been?

Day 15 done, night all xxx

Day 4 done. Well done to all who have socked it to the ww today.
Feeling worn out by the effort today. It was soooo hard.
Will catch up properly with you all tomorrow.
Goodnight all xx

Well done to everyone halfway through dry Jan!

Day 4 AF done for me to, I'm hoping the weekend goes as well as this week has gone and that it doesn't all go to pot come 7pm tomorrow. My ambition is to be AF mon-thurs and to have a couple of drinks (within healthy limits) at the weekends - has anyone had any success with moderation? as most people seem to be abstaining for dry Jan.

Good evening

Just popping in to say hi to all. Hope you're all well, you've certainly done well with the double figures (hugs).

Not abstained for the last 3 nights due to being off work (as you may have gathered in previous posts), though not gone mad on the last 2, due to being out and about, and not wanting to be over the limit.

Caught up with myself, and totally relaxed, but again can't wait til after my birthday tomorrow to have a long stretch of abstinence (no birthdays til July).....so impatient, it's like my birthday is 'in the way' IYSWIM'. But yet it's not. It's my birthday fgs !

Like having a devil and angel on my shoulders, arguing with each other....

D'argh ...

Onboard - Well done for day 4, remember its a thread for varying degrees of abstinence. I forget, then I read the original post, it helpsxxxx

Spanna fantastic news on the new flat - congratulations!!! A beautiful holiday pad near the beach, I bet the girls are so excited. really pleased for you xxx

Waves to hope, lovely to see you.

Love to all, those abstaining, those moderating and those just thinking about it for now xx

Morning all :)
It is pouring here and I have just taken DS to a before school run It struck me earlier how many time we have not gone to things we had planned, simply because we couldn't be bothered or were too tired or hungover to make the effort. I don't want to go back to that again so have come to the decision to be AF Mon-Thurs and drink sparingly at the weekends. We have got into the habit of going to bed early and getting up early so will try and continue this as well
Yay, well done onboard and reynard before you know it you will be into the double figures :)
baby it's frightening to see how much you have allowed to slide due to alcohol isn't it? I realised early on that I have been very short tempered with DS on far too many occasions and DH and I are getting on so much better (we weren't not getting on but our relationship is definitely better for being AF IYSWIM?) I also (alarmingly) have made a start on sorting our dismal finances

Keep smiling to all who are on track, encouraging punches on the arm for those who need it :o

Well done, sounds like everyone's doing well at the moment, getting things sorted out. I can totally relate to the devil and angel analogy.
I haven't had a glass of wine since Sunday :grin: though that's not quite as good as it sounds because I've been I'll so haven't really felt like one!
My challenge will be tomorrow night. I am going to allow myself some wine but my challenge will be stopping after 2 medium glasses. I think I can do it- if I can't will have to reassess and maybe look into abstaining altogether.
I have depression and am trying to withdraw from tablets at the moment, and days are very up and down, having a bit of a low today. So much to do- its my only day off for ages - but I'm in bed on mn, struggling to find any motivation and watching the time slip away. Can I have a kick please?

Hello Cat sounds like you could do with 'a duvet day' yep being ill certainly helps stay AF. Just an idea for tomorrow night start with a soft drink or a mocktail and then see if you still fancy wine, it may make it easier to stick to the 2 glasses of wine If you're trying to come off tablets, been feeling ill and going AF you're bound to be feeling up and down. sending you x

Happy Friday all you Brave Babes - Day 16 for me it's a bit quiet on Gerald today How is everyone?

Big hugs to all xxx

Hello lovely babes

Proud of you wow lots of you in double figures your fantastic!

It's been very busy with people and appointments I had not had time to think, it's same next week too I have a solicitor and going to get a non molistation order I'm scared though, got to have these stupid test my solicitor says I will pass straight away.

Hi spanna Congrats on the flat. I'm up with the thunderstorm which is very welcome after the heatwave and much needed rain. Also got me thinking (it's 12.30am) that usually on a Friday night I'd be so comatose that I would have slept through it and the poor dogs may not have been let in (depending on what my DH was doing). So it's really nice to be sober, enjoying the storm and looking after the animals.

Got another one of my stupid hurdles coming up next week, but I'm not drinking now or this coming week-end and will deal with next week when it happens. I don't want to fall into that trap of 'oh I'll be drinking next week, so may as well drink now' which was one of my favourites. So in that respect I've made leaps and bounds in my attitude towards drinking. After next week I have a looooong spell with no real challenges which I'm looking forward to.

Still a few days off after drinking for 5 nights in a row makes me realise how much nicer it is to be AF. Just the 5 days left me feeling depressed, anxiety was off the scale, and incredible stupid and inert. Not a good way to live.

Sorry to not nc, but hope all you lovely babes are doing well and staying strong. Soc x

Hi Soc good to see you and you do sound so much more aware. You also seem to have much more confidence in your own ability to have af weeks/months. (I know that you are aiming for a long spell). The first few days are always the trickiest for me, my dh broke his dry January last week and then drank every night following - which is exactly my pattern and why we are drinking buddies. Last night he didn't drink but I could feel his prickly, teeth gritting effort not to ( not that he would ever admit to it). So well done, be easy on yourself this weekend and keep recognizing how far you have come. ( god, I hope that didn't sound patronizing)

Im I have been thinking lots about you and I am so glad to hear you have a solicitor helping you. Xxx

Spanna day 16 is flipping awesome, well done!! Are you feeling a mixture of shock and delight? I am. Facing the rest of January seems far more doable

hope I was coming over all new agey and wondering if the full moon effects my mood too - yesterday I was struggling and everything felt pretty bleak. Today, thankfully I feel a lot more chipper ps I also had a thing for Terry Hall - he was in Fun Boy Three later.

Hi to everyone else xx

Im lovely to hear from you. So glad you have a solicitor. The molestation order is a must as is reporting anything he does re: DV. Anyway sure your solicitor will be giving you the advice and assistance you need. Stay sober and stay strong when ss realise you are a good mother who is able to care for and prtect her children they will leave you alone. Good luck lovely will be thinking of you xx