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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 67

999 replies

MasterP0 · 03/01/2014 12:15

.......we are a busy bunch aren't we hahahaha!

New Thread Alert the other ones has reached maximum capacity!

HERE'S TO A FUN FILLED, LOVE FILLED & SEX FILLED 2014!!!!

OP posts:
LittleBlueMouse · 04/01/2014 18:21

No, I don't think so. I got a message from some arty farty twat who kept sending me links to you tube music videos, right odd ball. And he wanted feedback on his choices.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 04/01/2014 18:23

Very irritating, LBM. I just find it quite presumptuous. Likewise people who list the 30 most obscure bands possible in their "likes" section. Or their favourite philosophers.

LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits · 04/01/2014 18:34

I don't skype before I've met someone...doesn't feel right to me.

Plus I look shit on film/photos/videos.....Wink. Would rather they know I'm not actually a minger before skype lies and indicates otherwise.

DeliberatelyDreaming · 04/01/2014 18:46

My story, advance warning, it's long, but I know I need outside perspective and advice.

I met Mr Zany on POF, not my usual type at all, but when we met I found myself quite attracted to him. One thing that caught me was his smile, I buckle at the knees for a great smile. We dated a while and then on one date he threw a strop over something so minor I was shocked. We stopped seeing each other on a regular basis but agreed to remain friends. I was more than happy with this. Soon afterwards I met Mr OMG.

From the second I met him the sparks from us both were like thunder bolts. I have never known chemistry like it. His job means he is away quite a bit then has chunks of time at home, but nothing can ever really be planned as he could be called away any time. Second date we DTD it was possibly the most boring sex I have ever had. I still knew the chemistry was huge and wondered if in time things would get better. He suddenly vanished and I was left totally bereft which after two dates was stupid. Soon afterward he reappeared with a very viable excuse, but by then I was wary.

I began to see Mr Zany for a odd coffee and chat, nothing more, purely as friends, however, I found out he was going to be spending Christmas alone and couldn't have that, so he came to ours. My DC are both older and they liked him when they very first met him when we were first dating, so were delighted he was coming over. He arrived Christmas eve with pressies and wine. After a couple few glasses he asked if we could become exclusive. I must point out here, he is solid, reliable, truthful to the point of being brutal, fantastic in bed, and he adores me and my DC. He has a DS he sees every other weekend, and does on occasion have to work away for a few days. All in all he is perfect for me, and I would be lying if I said I had no feelings for him.

My problem is Mr OMG. He has sent me a string of texts begging me to see him again. He said he loves me which of course is ridiculous, but, he makes me absolutely weak at the knees if I hear his voice or look at his photograph. He spoils me and treats me like a Princess when we are together, when we are not he is on POF and only now and again texts me. I was also going back onto POF and decided to try 'treat him mean, keep him keen' it worked too well. Now I am really in a quandary.

My heart is telling me wait for Mr OMG as the electricity between us when together is so intense, my head is telling me stay with Mr Zany who is fun, and will never hurt me. I can't with any conviction say Mr OMG won't hurt me.

What the hell do I do, head or heart?

LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits · 04/01/2014 18:58

Oh Dreaming. My gut tells me neither.

Mr OMG is going to play you, he wants to know you're there for him if he wants you but is looking for something he sees as better. YOU ARE THE PRIZE and are better than that. Plus if the sparks are there and the sex was dull......

Mr Zany isn't doing it for you...and it's early days. You are better than that too.

You deserve the sparks AND the attention AND the great sex. Neither of them are providing it for you.

Just my opinion and more than happy to be wrong.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:03

Hi all, may I join? Been on dating sites for quite a while now on and off and have read lurked on most of them at one time or another.

Waves at Flora Spreadable, due to being on her thread a few days ago.

Deliberately Dreaming - I know where I'd go, OMG disappeared and will do so again. Our heads ultimately are more sensible than our hearts!

MasterP0 · 04/01/2014 19:06

DD why was Mr OMG boring, missionary and that's it type of boring???

I'd stick to Mr Zany, can't be bothered with the time wasters/game players, especially if he's fantastic in bed! SOLID, RELIABLE, TRUTHFUL WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU DD!??? Such great qualities in a partner, Mr OMG sounds flakey, will let you (and your kids) down in the long run! Hurt me all you want but mess up even a hair on my DARLING DARLING BOYS I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! No contest really!

OP posts:
DeliberatelyDreaming · 04/01/2014 19:12

Thank you for your replies. Master You have confirmed much of what I have been thinking. Mr OMG is flaky and I suppose I would never be able to rely on him. Mr Zany I can rely on totally. I know I needed a telling off Blush to see sense. I now just need to find a way to wash Mr OMG right out of my hair.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:18

Cut your hair off if you have to DD. Romance novels where he suddenly realises what a fool he's been and loves you are just that.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:19

Oh by the way the 42 on my profile isn't may age, Im 52, so been round the block a bit by now.

powpow80 · 04/01/2014 19:19

Dreaming I would go with me. Zany too. We've all had the flakey Mr. OMGs. Usually with better sex too! Just tell him that you have met someone else and want to give that a go.

powpow80 · 04/01/2014 19:20

Mr. Zany for the love of god this phone makes me look like I never crossed the threshold of a classroom.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:22

apologies, damn predictive and got dating site up too...

The 42 on my mumsnet name (not profile of course) is my door number, not my age.

DeliberatelyDreaming · 04/01/2014 19:23

Very true Tinks. You have confirmed and settled things for me, and I know what I must and will do. Thank you all Thanks I will be sending Mr OMG a text today telling him I won't see him again and not to contact me. It will be hard but I know it's right for me.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:26

Applauds DD. I put a man on a pedestal when I was 23, I wasted another 15 years of my life before I knocked him off. What a wanker he was Grin

DeliberatelyDreaming · 04/01/2014 19:31

It's madness really and I know that. Anyone would think I was a teenager with little life experience rather than a late forties woman with years of experience. While deep down I have always known Mr OMG was no good, the attraction and chemistry blinded my common sense. Thankfully, you ladies helped restore it before I made a very tragic mistake.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 04/01/2014 19:31

Happy Saturday everyone! Have just been reading along and giggling. Whoever was worrying about not having spoken to their date on the phone first don't worry! I never do. Hate phones at the best of times anyway.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:43

Im the opposite OneDay, I like to hear a voice first, he might sound like mini mouse, bleugh. I like big tall men and adore a deep voice.

DeliberatelyDreaming · 04/01/2014 19:43

I always have a phone call before a meet. It's never the easiest calls I have taken but reassures me it is a man I am talking to. I remember a poster called Mercury who used to post on this thread, she did Skype. I don't have the courage for that.

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:48

I used to msn (Skype now) though sometimes, especially with the ones that were a bit further away and can say that no-one I did that with were trying to shove their willies in my face. Over the last 4 years things have changed on dating sites etc.

dontcallmehon · 04/01/2014 19:49

I don't do phone calls. In fact, geeky and I have never had a phone conversation. We both hate talking on the phone, so we text a lot instead - 500 texts in December! Good job I get unlimited texts...

Tinks42 · 04/01/2014 19:51

Just goes to show how different we all are. I can't be doing with all the texting Grin

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 04/01/2014 20:21

Evening all...sorry for my absence...have had family round.
Waves to Tinks :0) and welcome to other new peeps :0)

I'm trying not to log into pof for a week. I've enough to be getting on with. I'm still really excited about date with number 4 next Saturday. He just seems my ideal man but not getting too into him before I meet him.
Number 5 still texting me asking how my flu is. I've been polite but building up to send a polite "I've met someone else". To top it off a guy I was chatting to, whom I said I wasn't interested in to him (given that he has 6 kids) has texted me. I stupidly gave him my number a while back. He's using his affluence to try and woo me...promising me meals in posh hotels, days at a spa, etc.
Hence, I need a break from pof till I sort this lot out!

Claws....any reply from asshole at work?

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 04/01/2014 20:22

Tinks...my number 3 last weekend had a mini mouse voice.....reminded me of the episode from Miranda!!

MasterP0 · 04/01/2014 20:30

Flora he's got SIX KIDS, YIKES!!!!!!! I too am not logging into POF, but am cyber stalking Mr Wales, rolling eyes at myself

I'm looking through profiles, honestly some men, hahahaha. One guy has taken a photo of a photo for his profile pic, then there's one who's written "...last couple of days until removing my account" REALLY, DO WE CARE?? Were they dropped on the head at birth or something???

My girlfriends and I like to send each other links to hilarious profiles we find, so very amusing and bitchy, I'm sure there's a rule that prohibits us from doing that on here RIGHT?????? looks around room nervously

OP posts: