Tell me your success stories of meeting a partner over 40

[AnuvvaMuvva]

I mean when you were over 40. :)

It feels to me that the media spreads a lot of scary stories about women over 40 never being able to find a new partner. And of 40+ men living in a world of endless young fanjo and joy. Which could lead to women aged 40 or above staying in miserable relationships out of fear it's their last chance.

So... Let's redress the balance of the folklore! Did you meet your partner over 40? Tell us everything. :)

Divorced at 45 following a 20 year marriage, online dating two years later and met my wonderful bf when I was 47 and he was 50 (also a divorcee). It’s taken me this long to realise what a healthy relationship looks like. He’s a beautiful, decent, gentleman
and we are very much in love. I feel very lucky.

I'm wondering the same. I'm 38, no kids, but have had the most dreadful year since splitting up with my ex. I was intending to get back out there, made a New Year's resolution to join new groups and get involved in stuff, but promptly caught Covid and then had a year of ill health, misery, and family bereavements. I've really been in survival mode all year and have just focused on myself, pretty much stayed in all the time, and to be honest I think I really needed it, especially since my last relationship was quite abusive and he was an arse, but now I feel like I've wasted a precious year of my 30s when it might have still been possible to meet someone.

To make it worse, I don't do dating apps either. Too many bad experiences, and my mental health can't take it. Have I got any hope at all? I don't have kids, don't think I want any, and look quite young for my age (most people guess early thirties at most). Everyone else I know my age seems to be coupled up and I have no single friends at all to go out with or anything, so I'd literally be rebuilding my life from scratch.

@whimsicalmoon I wouldn't say you've wasted a year; you've had so much going on you wouldn't have had space for anyone special.

I think our most important relationship is with ourselves - I know that sounds 🤢 but it's absolutely true!! You've spent a year focused on yourself - and you have so much time!! I'm 20 years older than you, been single for 12 years after an unhappy marriage and I still feel hopeful..

whimsicalmoon

you so haven't wasted a year
life happens and you had to handle it

baby I’m 50 and life happens
and I’ll also get back out there too one day

all in good time

@whimsicalmoon

Don’t think of it as a year wasted. You’ve taken time out for yourself and your peace of mind. Sometimes we all need to take a step back and do what we need for our mental health.

The longest and strongest relationship you will ever have is with yourself so do having that inner peace is vital.

Im a lot older than you and I've been single nearly 4 years and it’s the most comfortable in my own skin I’ve ever felt. Being happy with yourself is priceless - and when you’re ready then you step back out there but take your time and atttact the right people.

I have read this thread from start to finish, part way through I realised it was 10 years old. I cast my mind back. I was 43 and utterly miserable. I'd just come out of a very destructive relationship with an alcoholic, and had the realisation that all my romantic relationships were dysfunctional. I resolved that I would remain single.
Two years later I met a wonderful man. We were together for 6 years and he taught me what love between two people can be. The relationship ended amicably and I will always love him for how he helped me become a more open, more receptive person.
I met the love of my life 14 months ago (actually we met when I was 36 through a job together. He asked me out when I was 45 but I'd just met and fallen for wonderful man, so he wasn't on my radar. We remained friends, however, but in the last few years had fallen out of touch except for birthday/Christmas greetings when I happened early last year to see an event I knew he would love. I was in two minds as to whether to get in touch, but I did and he was delighted. The event was 7 months later and we didn't exchange a message until the day before when he asked if I was still up for going. I wasn't but I pushed myself to sound positive and then the following evening when we met up there was a moment when he looked at me and I literally felt the universe jolt.
We are getting married next September. I have truly never felt such joy in the company of another human. My only sadness is that we met too late for him to know my parents.

Met my do when we were both 46, on tinder. He was the 10th man I’d been on a date with and we clicked. But most of the men I’d dated were nice men, just no spark for me.
my friend met her dp on tinder aged 43, there are lots of nice men out there.

Great thread, really gives me hope. I gave up online dating almost 1.5 years ago and have been fine alone. Now thinking whether I need to get out there more.

Read this thread from the start not realising it was 10 years old. 10 years ago I was planning my wedding to a man I should never have married, he was abusive and a narcissist but at the time it was what everyone expected us to do (we put on a great show of being happy) and I had so little confidence I thought I couldn't get any better. It lasted 3 years before I took his threat of a divorce and said yes to it.

Been single now 5 years, in that time I tried OLD and have concentrated on rebuilding me. I have a great circle of friends, a job I love (most days anyway) and hobbies. I only met two guys from OLD but they both showed me something.

The first showed me that I was attractive, the second showed me the type of man I want(kind, softly spoken, a gentleman basically). They both showed me I was worth more than what my ex did to me. The 2nd actually stuck around for a year, we never went further than friends (who ended up sleeping together which is when it went wrong).

This thread has given me hope that I've still got a chance at finding love. A great read for a Sunday morning!

I'm 41 and single 5 years, other than the odd date. I've been asked out a bit by guys but I never seem to be attracted to them. This thread is giving me hope. The desire of my heart is to some day be in a loving relationship ✨️ 💛