I have a great story.
I was with ex H for 21 years, married for 13. He was abusive in every way, emotionally, physically, the works. We (me and 2 DC, now aged 9 and 5) walked on eggshells around him, never knowing when the next explosion would be.
In mid September last year, after another explosion (screaming abuse, smashing up the kitchen as the kids stood by terrified), I told him we needed to separate as the way he treated me was soul
destroying and the kids were traumatised by his behaviour. I had pleaded with him to go on meds, see a doctor etc - he refused.
A week later, I got a LinkedIn message. In 1998 (!!!!!!) I was an exchange student to Germany (I’m from NZ) and spent the winter term at a high school in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. The message was from my German “boyfriend” … we had a very innocent 16 year old romance (holding hands and kissing at parties). I had completely lost contact with everyone from that time in my life and was delighted to hear from him and we exchanged a few emails. The fights at home continued … ex H drinking heavily, starting fights, somehow it was even my fault that he forgot my birthday.
Out of the blue… I can’t stress how unusual this is, it’s never happened in my 20 year career!!!!!! - my work agreed to send me to a conference in Brussels in November. I mentioned this to High School Bf in one of my emails who said “when? I have a conference in Brussels on X date” … It transpired that we were in town on the same day. The odds of this are so infinitesimal I can’t emphasise it enough (my friends all say yeah right as if he had a conference 😂 but I checked and he did 😂)
We met up for a drink in Brussels and it was as if no time had passed - had a few beers and had a laugh, it was really lovely. The next night (my last night) we went out for dinner. It was ⚡️⚡️⚡️ for me then, and for him too but I genuinely thought I was going mad - how could I be falling head over heels for someone I only knew as a teenage boy of 16, plus I had my shitshow of a marriage at home. I assumed I was having some sort of midlife crisis. We said a chaste goodbye (I am a lapsed Catholic 😂), I gave him a peck on the cheek and said basically goodbye and have a nice life. The next day I got on the early Eurostar to London and cried all the way there, for what I had just experienced and believing I’d never see him again, and for the unhappiness I was going back to.
I flew back to NZ a week later. No hug or kiss or welcome home, within 15 minutes of walking in the door exH was screaming abuse at me, telling me to drop the kids to school, I hadn’t slept for 30 hours a d he’d deliberately left all these chores for me to do to punish me for going away. It was at that moment a switch flipped and I knew I was done, irrevocably and forever. I ended the marriage for good 4 days later.
I told High School Bf I’d split with my husband but over that time was pretty stressed with abusive exH being absolutely psycho and managing the stress of the split so didn’t really focus much on that … plus he lives 18,000km away so even in the midst of my mid life crisis I realised nothing was going to happen there 😂 He gave me space to deal with my dumpster fire of a life 😂
In February 2023 he sent me flowers for Valentine’s day and asked if I wanted to go out with him, just like he did in 1999.
In May 2023 we met for a week in New York and kissed for the first time since 1999. 24.5 years later 🥹 Between holidays and work travel we have managed to see each other 3x this year and will spend new year’s together, again in NYC, 25 years to the day that we first kissed as teenagers in that snowy little village in Germany. In February he is coming to visit NZ and meet my family.
He is absolutely the love of my life and I feel so incredibly lucky that the universe conspired to bring us together again.
I am an extremely cynical lawyer but the amount of coincidences that had to happen, the timing of our reconnection … everything - it makes me believe in soulmates. A year ago I was so desperately unhappy… Life is so unexpected and amazing.