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Original poster

Tell me your success stories of meeting a partner over 40

110 replies

AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 19:34

I mean when you were over 40. :)

It feels to me that the media spreads a lot of scary stories about women over 40 never being able to find a new partner. And of 40+ men living in a world of endless young fanjo and joy. Which could lead to women aged 40 or above staying in miserable relationships out of fear it's their last chance.

So... Let's redress the balance of the folklore! Did you meet your partner over 40? Tell us everything. :)

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 30/12/2013 22:18

My cousin met his DP on a random night out when he was 39 and she was 42. They just really clicked, they lived a couple of hours' drive away from each other but thought, fuck it, and moved in together and started TTC after just 6 months. That really is a recipe for All Going Horribly Wrong, but I'm happy to tell you that their beautiful DD turns 4 next month and they are still blissfully happy :)

Original poster
AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 22:19

My XH's brother was unhappily married to the nastiest woman I've ever met. (On my wedding day to XH, she asked me if I liked my new surname. I said I loved it, and she sniffed and said she'd never cared for it herself. Like - why say that on someone's wedding day??)

Anyway, he eventually left her, at 45, and met his lovely new wife two years later. (She was working in a bank and threw herself at him when he went to pay a cheque in. Grin) She was 43 when they met, no kids. They never used contraception thinking those days were long gone... And their DS is now an adorable 7 year old.

OP posts:
CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 30/12/2013 22:40

Just out and about, in bars, at social events with friends, even in the supermarket once :o

I've been told that I have a friendly, approachable face if that makes a difference. I'm quite chatty and if someone talks to me then provided they're not sleazy I'll happily chat back and sometimes things go from there, sometimes not.

I did behave disgracefully with an Italian who was 15 years younger than me at the 2012 MN xmas do though Blush

DiamondDoris · 30/12/2013 23:17

Yes, 43 and 4 years on very happy. I wasn't looking, just happened really.

Newjobthankgod · 30/12/2013 23:25

My parents divorced in their 40s. Both met new awesome partners within two years. My mom was 44 at the time and the single men from age 30 on up were fighting over her until she settled down with my stepdad. She is beautiful and elegent though.

My dad ended up meeting and marrying a lovely single mom two years older than him. He was 48 and she was 50 when they married. He avoided the nasty trashy younger women and went for a graceful, intelligent, naturally beautiful type of woman. They are all really happy.

Mumtoh · 30/12/2013 23:40

At last! A thread that gives hope! There are some proper heartwarming tales on here.

I am just turned 48, separated three years ago and divorced last year. Have 'concentrated' on sorting out new home, settling DS etc rather than find a man (for that read 'too scared to get back out there'). Had a stint on eharmony this year which was a waste of time, but have decided to go for it this year, hopefully spreading my bets with OLD and meeting men in RL. I have always been a bit shy until I have a drink in me, and very low self esteem but a lot of attention from a much younger guy (very casual physical fling) has started me on the road to recovery. That plus 12yo DS asking when I'm going to get a boyfriend...

Here's to positive vibes for 2014!!

Original poster
AnuvvaMuvva · 31/12/2013 00:06

Yay Mumtoh!! May 2014 prove to be 20-phwoarrrrrghteen.

OP posts:
Mumtoh · 31/12/2013 00:18

Yay Mumtoh!! May 2014 prove to be 20-phwoarrrrrghteen

Love it! It's my new catchphrase! Grin

vegimalfarm · 31/12/2013 06:20

I left my commitment phobic boyfriend after 3 years when I was 39. Within 6 months I met my now DH. We went traveling, lived abroad and eventually came back and had DS then adopted another. We got married this year Smile

FluffyJumper · 31/12/2013 11:14

Hurrah! Great thread OP!

LovesPeace · 31/12/2013 16:10

Thought I'd say an early 'Happy New Year' to you all.

It's just as possible to be happy single, as in a relationship, so no excuses.

Get out there and enjoy your life! Grin

ElsieMc · 31/12/2013 16:23

My MIL is a widow of 73 and met her boyfriend a few years back at a local tea dance. They don't live together, but go on weekends away, trips abroad, cruises etc. I think he is keener than she is and she plays hard to get. My SIL tells me she is a player.

Her friends tell me she was "courting" before him and seems to enjoy life in a way she never did prior to her late sixties.

MasterP0 · 31/12/2013 16:34

I've just returned from my beautician, she encouraged me to try OD after I'd given up, this was last December after she'd met a guy on MatchAffinity.

She shared the happy news that she's now engaged at the ripe "old age" of 45!!!!! We screamed, we danced, THERE IS HOPE!!!!

ShineyBlackShoes · 31/12/2013 16:38

I am 47, been single for 13 years and not had a date for 8. Had no interest from anyone on dating sites whatsoever: free and pay ones!

My SiL's 80 year mothers met a guy an at OAP gym thing and now lives with him.

Someone I know over 40 recently had a baby with her new guy: all happiness there.

Good as an older woman to know there are 'happy ever after' stories around even if I don't have one.

JohnnyBarthes · 31/12/2013 17:39

Friend of mine in her late 40s met a chap within a year of being widowed - her late husband (who she'd been with since her early 20s) had been ill for a very, very long time which I think helped her to be ready to get on with life earlier than it might otherwise have done. They are sickeningly loved up :)

Both her and her beau have teenage children, who have welcomed their parents' new partners with open arms.

I must say we were all a bit Hmm about him at first, because we were understandably protective over our friend, but I'm happy to say that we've be proven wrong.

Preciousbane · 31/12/2013 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BringMeTea · 31/12/2013 19:04

Ok. Met at 42 outside a bar in SE Asia where I lived at the time. He lived an 8 hour flight away. Now 44 and getting wed next year. He is same age. First marriage for both of us, no children. So, you definitely do not know what is around the corner and what obstacles can be overcome if you both want it.

Wishing love and luck and happiness to all of you for 2014.

thornrose · 31/12/2013 19:11

Shiney you sound a lot like me except I haven't braved any dating sites...yet!

This thread gives me some hope! I need to put myself out there though, how scary!

Horsemad · 01/01/2014 09:42

My MIL got married again at the age of 70 after being widowed for 17yrs.

I think she's crazy, but it's her life!

wifeandmotherandlotsofother · 01/01/2014 14:06

I met my beloved when I was 44 and he was 40, I was divorced and had 3 teenagers, he was never married with a 4 year old. We celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary this week, we have never been happier. Good luck AnuvvaMuvva, I hope 2014 brings you much joy. Like Montane50, my husband was definitely worth the wait.

Am12345 · 26/11/2023 19:54

I love this it gives me hope. I'm 41 and I'd love to meet someone.

LucyvanderPelt · 26/11/2023 20:07

What a lovely thread. Thank you for bumping it @Am12345

I’d love to hear more stories if anyone has one to add!

Cabinsarebins · 26/11/2023 20:57

I needed this, just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years at 38.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/11/2023 20:59

The truth is, dating doesn't change much with age - except hopefully we're all a bit wiser and kinder

hahahah
but this is a lovely thing to say and it’s kind of true
my pool and that if my friends has widened a bit as as we also have younger men

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/11/2023 20:59

$I’d love to hear more stories if anyone has one to add!*

🤔