Single Beds

[carolthatcher2003]

How do I broach this subject with DH?

CT, my parents stopped having sex when my mother was in her early 30's. Mainly to prevent pregnancy. They were catholic and my father wouldn't agree to my mum going on the pill (it was the 60's) and she was quite happy to not have sex any more as she says she never enjoyed it. They now have separate bedrooms for the past 2 years but up till then shared a double bed. I think my mum only had sex a handful of times and got pregnant 3 times. I think she was my dad's first girlfriend so perhaps they needed to practice more to get the enjoyment factor. They have a good relationship otherwise and though they don't have alot in common do enjoy the grand children and family aspect together. They are happy and they do love each other and have been together over 40 years. The decision not to have sex was mutual though. I don't think what you are saying is strange and hope you can find a way to make it work.

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I cannot believe how damn selfish you are being - he can't have you but you don't want him to have anyone else - terribly mean of you - humans have an inbuilt need for physical contact - not sex - just a hug or a stroke here and there - its what kills me when a relationship ends I don't care about the loss f sex but physical intimacy.

I would tell him to go find someone else if I ever met him.

Oh and your question to how often you have sex and how often you would like it - 4 - 5 times a week (well thats gonna have to stop ) and I like it when i like it - I could have it every night at some times of the month and at other times think -ooohhhh not tonight but its always good and enjoyable so I end up enjoying it.

I think you are abnormal not to want physical contact (not sex) with anyone - it makes me feel sad just the thought of it.

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Well could you live without a huggle???

I'm with you on that one Twinks

Thats the problem there hasn't been any (beating about the bush )

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No beating abou the bush - just got it Twinkie.

PMSL!!!!!!!!!

Not that it's any of my business, but I think CT's relationship with her dh is unutterably sad. I've been thru a long period when sex was impossible, and with my other difficulties, not even in my mind, but we always tried to lay down together for a cuddle, (even when I was in hospital)

I can't imagine having no physical contact with anyone at all, that is such an arid form of life. CT if you are really are happy so be it, but is it fair to imprison your husband in this situation?

I'm surprised he's still with you, I don't think mine would stay under such conditions (but then I wouldn't want him to).

I'm a little surprised by some of the hostilty directed towards CT from some people posting here I'm not really sure why that is. Perhaps i'm reading this wrong, but she seems to be saying that her marriage is over but they stay together for the sake of their child. By stay together i mean they continue to share a house, as someone else said, a kind of house sharing arrangement.

Now, while this wouldn't be MY choice, this used to be thought to be "the right thing to do". Why does this make some people angry? If I wasn't in love with my husband i wouldn't want to have sex with him either. As it is, we are still quite besotted with each other and make love a lot. But, as others here have said, its the intimacy & affection that are the most important to us. I hope we never lose that. I feel very sorry for BOTH CT and her DH, they seem to be trapped in a loveless relationship.

I think people are frustrated because this isn't a joint decision by CT2003 and her dh. He loves her and wants to have sex with her and isn't having sex with anyone else - but she doesn't, doesn't want to and isn't. If both parties were in agreement, I think there would be less dissent. As it is, I think the injustice to CT2003's dh has taken some breaths away. And CT2003 deserves more than such a loveless life too.

Ok that makes sense.....thanks PG!!

I'm sorry we've hijacked this a bit, it just goes to show that we are so shocked that someone can be content to live a life in this situation.

Has anyone seen the article in todays times

\linkwww.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,175-1026231,00.html \it's here{} ?

oops, try the link again

\linkwww.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,175-1026231,00.html \it's here{} ?

oops, try the link again

\link www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,175-1026231,00.html\it's here{} ?

No, try as I might, it won't behave.

Try copying this address into your browser

www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,175-1026231,00.html

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This is unbearably cruel sex is the thing that differentiates your lover from your other best friends-let him go if you really don't love him.I was on kidney dialysis for 2 years and at times sex was impossible and that real closeness was missing I sometimes saw it in dp's eyes since I've had a transplant it is back to normal and dp is so happy if my health situation had been permanent I would have told him to seek that intimacy elsewhere respect him and do the same-please!!!

Why would I be happy for him to mess around with some tart?

I don't like sex, we are a couple, he has to respect that, what's the problem?

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