The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

[Mouseface]

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. :)

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.

You'll find the last thread HERE, THAT WILL LEAD TO THREADS BEFORE IT, SOME HISTORY

And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

guggen I'm taking great comfort from your calming words. Due to recent drinking habits my parents, partner and daughter have told me I need to stop or lose them I'm terrified of facing Xmas and New Year sober, I don't like myself at all and I've let the people down I love most, I'm at rock bottom. I daren't tell anyone I'm struggling without wine, my family think it's a simple question of choice. They also chose to believe it all stems from depression and will " fix itself" my main problem is that I cannot process stress or disappointment, I'm very very sensitive and as a cherished only child I find life as a STHM boring and lonely yet my Crohn's makes it impossible for me to work right now. Most if you know me well but I feel like on my edge of my life and either need to make radical changes right now or I'm doomed, my drinking is becoming sinister and dangerous almost like I'm pushing myself towards the dark side, sorry for me me me but I'm facing an uncertain future and need support,it's not an all day every day thing but when I start, I just can't stop, it's like hiding from life and I don't even know why!!! Xxx

Hi baby, that was a very brave and honest post. I can relate to a lot of what you say, the loneliness, the guilt and the fear. You are not alone in that, I think a lot of us struggle through life sometimes feeling like we are holding it all together with a flimsy bit of dental floss.

On the dry thread, they mentioned the train, the one that hurtles towards rock bottom. It was also suggested that it is possible to step off the train before it reaches it's destination. (That was a poor description but hopefully you know what I mean). All is not lost baby, you are here, you are being honest. This time of year tends to magnify all the emotions and as a sensitive soul it can all feel too much to handle. My only advice is take one small step at a time, you don't need to fix everything in one go. Just focus on getting through today. guggs had a list of suggestions to why, maybe some of those would help. Don't worry about tomorrow. Today is enough. Take care xx

Thanks beaches xx

I wish you were here to help me... I have to wrap and hide an enormous beanbag . Seemed such a good idea at the time

((Hugs)) baby sorry you are feeling so low. I can relate to being lonley, bored, sensitive - wanting to take the edge of things with a glass of wine. This time of year does make it harder. We're bombarded with images of people having a good time, invariably with a drink, and for all I think that we see through it, it still has an effect. Xx

baby that is a very brave post indeed. Massive hugs to you. xxx
I'm typing one handed so forgive mistakes.
I can really identify with the inability to process stress and disappointment,neither can I and neither can many alcoholics. I can totally realte to that rock bottom feeling- firghtening,out of control,disgusting. sound familiar? In the end I needed rl support too. I needed to get out of the house and get to meetings,it kept me sober,simple as that.It is free,anonymous and got me sober.

Set a date,whenever you are ready and commit to not drinking. get soft drinks in,get into bed early,stay away from shops.You will begin to feel better within a few days.

I found that I do suffer from low levels of depression,sometimes and drinking was making it all much worse,I wasn't processing those feelings either,just saving them up for the future.

Wish I could be there to give you a hug.I think you are there at that turning point where you are sick and tired of drinking.

That awful self destructive feeling- yes,i did all that too and deliberately stuffed up as many good things as I possibly could. That is waht alcohol does to you,it stops you having any self worth at all.

I'm not saying that getting sober is easy or staying sober is easy, I have no idea if I will make it through christmas sober but nOTHING is worse that that vile drink-guilt-drink-guilt cycle.

Think about some councelling,aa,smart,anatabuse (sp)- one of those things might help.

Hi baby I just couldn't see your post and not respond. I lurk on this thread a lot and to me you sound such an open, friendly, sweet and bright person. Like you I suffer from depression and am crap at coping with stress and know only too well how that can lead to taking a drink. Believe guggs tho' she is right, alcohol depresses the central nervous system and taken in large quantities will end up making you feel even worse. Just a thought you may want to try cognitive behavioural techniques, basically means a lot of folk like us tend to focus on the negative and I don't know you but I'm willing to bet there's. A lot of good things going for you! Sorry I'm. Probably coming over really badly but I bet its not as bad as u think. Hugs to you!

Friday night before Christmas, and so many people are out at Christmas parties. I'm not, and it can be easy to feel alone, and sad, and to think that things would be a little brighter if I too was out drinking.

But I know it is an illusion. So many of those supposedly 'happy' people are stressed, worried about their finances, struggling with relationship problems, and far too many will be struggling because of alcohol. They may be habitual drinkers for whom this time of year ramps everything up; they may be occasional drinkers who get carried away; but either way later tonight and then tomorrow morning there will be people who are regretful or confused, or hurt and bruised, worried, potentially pregnant and dreading the fall-out.

So to any who are at home, join me in luxuriating in being AT HOME tonight, warm inside when the weather is crap outside, and perhaps even sleeping well tonight and waking up bright in the morning. Love to you all.

Id love to have a home to be in.

I will join you in being sober and glad about it. And we wont be hungover, embarrassed or sorry in the morning.

Hi all,

Think i'm quite glad it's the last friday before christmas,all that pressure to spend and drink. I'm having a boring night in and that's fine.
This is the easiest lead up to christmas i've had,and that's due to not being pissed all the time. I walked past the booze aisle of the supermarket yesterday and it was nice to not care about the wine- none of that haggling and overspending.

chopin how do you go about finding out about cognitive therapy?

oh why I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive But you're right about the morning

If you don't want counselling, I recommend a book on CBT like Burns 'Feeling Good'

You can also get great apps - I have one called CBT diary.

Hi my lovely friends, I thank you for you ever kind and sympathetic words and not a hint of judgement which makes me weep with gratitude. I have been thinking a lot about what brought me to this point and I will share this tomorrow but have had a busy but lovely day at a Christmas party with kids, lots of stress and triggers but my dd says if she sees me with wine in my hand she's finished with me!!! I am struggling and will continue to through heavy laden guilt and I know I must be unhappy at some level to need drink to make me feel worthy/fuzzy and warm and dusgusting in such dramatic ways. My whole life and relationship needs emotional first aid and I hope I can rebuild a trust that I've botched repeatedly like a self destruction button that ripples through everyone I exist to cherish and love. Somewhere down the line I stopped doing all the things that make ME happy and lost my soul to housework, loneliness and white wine!! I hope I can find ME again through councelling and AA and this amazing bus. my sincere affection to all of you xxx

Can anyone give me a link to "the dry thread" or any others that may help me ??

Hi baby just up early looking at my fairy lights and scoffing on clementines! Ibelieve the dry thread is on relationships, I suggest you also take a look at Soberistas.com

babyj I have a similar health condition to you, and needed many years of counselling to come to terms with issues around pain, guilt, body image, anger, resentment etc

Please don't beat yourself up. You have had such a hard time - you were in hospital less than a month ago! Alcohol is your way of coping with all your problems. You can't ditch the alcohol UNTIL you've found an alternative coping strategy.

Hello babyj I just read your post and I am so sorry that you have been struggling with Crohns as well as the dreaded booze. My niece has Crohn's and went through a terrible time with it a couple of years ago.

Here's a link to the DRY thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1911266-DRY?pg=21

Big big hug to baby

Take your time (one day at a time) and don't put any pressure on yourself. Take any help that is offered. We all want to see you happy and healthy and able to cope.

I'd recommend the wimmin's meetings or a beginners meeting for aa if you did decide to go.
Best of luck.

Just checking in. Had another electrician here today. More baffled headshaking. Only solution is to lift all the flooring and floorboards to get to the bottom of things. I could cry. He has temporarily disabled all the sockets to the front room and our bedroom and run an extension from ds room so we can have power. Ds is pissed off because his door won't close, dd1s face it tripping her because that's her default these days amid sarky comments about the house not being safe, and dd2 has just come home from uni without blankie and blankie can't be left alone in halls all over Christmas and how will she cope? She is 20!!!!

Did I say the electrician has lovely eyes.....

Oh ma run off with him hope it all gets sorted before christmas,if not sooner.

guggs I would if I could. He's lovely!

Have namechanged to post here for first time.
I don't really know how to start but I think alcohol has become a problem for me.
I rarely drink a lot but I drink every single day. usually alone at home. Probably around a bottle of wine a night, sometimes less. When I exceed this I get really really ill for at least a day afterwards and have to claim a migraine.
I am so ashamed of this.
I am a professional with a good job and I don't think anyone at work would suspect a thing. I am worried I am damaging my body though and I hate those nights when I am awake all night, with the runs . And the next day when I feel sick and weak and headachy all damn day.
Anyway, I have been lurking and I just deleted a load of alcohol not all of it off my sainsburys home delivery for Christmas. Thanks for giving me heart and courage.
I am hoping to try to quit/cut back severely after Christmas. I will lurk and learn until then if that is OK?

Hi guggenheim I know that you can pay privately for cbt , my GP told me to ring Mind as they do counselling free but I chickened out at the last minute as. Felt a twit discussing stuff with strangers! Have tried reading up instead - alias that app sounds interesting might give it a go how much does ot cost if you don't mind my asking please?

Number 5 that sounds like my drinking pattern.
I p!an to go for dry January. New year,new start etc. Want to get ready to join me?