The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

[Mouseface]

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. :)

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.

You'll find the last thread HERE, THAT WILL LEAD TO THREADS BEFORE IT, SOME HISTORY

And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Welcome Number, and well done on deleting the alchohol. It's a hard time of year to cut down/quit but I think/hope if you drink more mindfully it'll put you in a better place to deal with it come January. That's what I'm telling myself anyway! I can easily drink daily, rarely more than half a bottle but I think these things creep up....since joining the thread I've managed af days - seemed impossible before - so it's definitely worth lurking/posting :)

Not coping.

Drinking, not too much, but enough to help the meds escalate their effects.

I can't cope with my grief. I miss my mum, I really ache, I hurt, I really hurt.

I'm going to leave you guys to it for a while and not drag you down. I'll pop in but I can't give words of wisdom if I am self medicating can I? Two faced and all that....

Be brave, stay safe, the next few weeks will be tough. You are all so lovely, welcome to the new Babes, stay where you feel settled.....

Night all.

I'll be lurking.

Merry Christmas xxx

Mouse Please stay in touch. Withdrawing may not be the best option.

You are not being "two-faced". You need support and help. You always tell people in their time of need that they don't have to be a source of help to the bus, but just to take the help offered. Do the same for yourself now, lovely.

Thinking of you, Mouse. Very much an inspiration to me.

Hello Number5Bus that sounds very like my drinking pattern too and my level of drinking. It did start affecting me at work, my attitude and my performance deteriorated before I gave up the booze first time round. I remember that horrible edgy, weak headachy feeling so well.

You may be damaging your health with your drinking and I would recommend getting yourself checked out. I was tested after 'fessing up to my GP the real extent of my drinking and I had raised cholesterol and low calcium levels. The low calcium was a huge wake-up call, I don't at all fancy being predisposed to osteoporosis!

Well done for deleting a large chunk of your home alcohol order

I'm not entirely abstinent right now, following a tumble back into excessive drinking in the summer and a bit of yo-yo-ing between abstinence and drinking since but most of the time I have been off the booze. I am planning to boot it completely again in the New Year. I know it would be better just to carry on with my current period of abstinence (today is day 5 I think) but I just want a relaxed Christmas with my family and not to feel left out, etc. etc. so I'm going for damage limitation.

The stuff really messes with my head though. That "voice" was there this evening, suggesting I get a bottle of wine on my way home and now of course I'm so glad I didn't. But it's scary how persistently the addictive voice reasserts itself.

Anyway, best wishes for Christmas and for cutting down, or out altogether in the New Year.

mouse big hugs. Please don't disappear. There's loads of us in the side car. It's a big cozy love fest. Please join us. We need you here with us. Sorry you're hurting so badly.

I'm still in the side car by the skin of my teeth. Doing ok. Looking forward to the end of this festive season and I will be back in the drivers seat.

Same as thebuns - just doing damage limitation. I always volunteer to drive these days so have had many nights out having only 2 glasses of wine and NOT stopped on the way home to get another bottle to drink at home as a reward for being 'so good'. So although not perfect, much better than I used to be.

Hang in there glorious babes xx

dementedma thanks I would love a partner to go dry with in the new year and I will try to limit my consumption before then.
I did have a AF day last week and I tried to be more self aware about it. I was surprised that I didn't feel so different physically the next day, but I felt so much more upbeat mentally and emotionally. I had more of a "can do" attitude.
Like a lot of us, I am sure, I have had a particularly shit 18 months. Split up from boyfriend, bad problems with teen DD, various work problems, and this week I found that someone very close and dear to me has cancer.
I have to stop using alcohol as a crutch. I know all this but come 6pm the wine starts calling....
My DF died of his alcoholism and both my DBs have problems with it too so I know I should be more careful. That I am at risk.
One of the worst things has been the sheer amount of weight I have put on in 18 months. When I drink I eat.
Sorry for rambling. I will sit back and lurk til new year. Thanks babes.

Hi babes.. Need some support today :( taking it one hour at a time.. Help x

Mouseface if you don't show your whiskers on this bus, just to post "checking in" I will come down there with a mousetrap and get you! With what you have been through this year, it is unbelievable you are still breathing, let alone coping. You need to grieve dearest, but not alone and drunk and hurting. Curl up in the sidecar and just squeak now and then. Since when was this bus only for non-drinking posters? Hmmmm? If that were the case I think there has been only one day in December when I could post AF. Rest a while mouse and know that we care and you are part of our lives. I picked dd2 up from uni yesterday and we were chatting about Christmas cards etc and she said "Oh,how is nemo these days?" She loves looking at his photos and thinks he is so cute. Its like - cheesy alert- we are one family here. A family threatened daily by the Ww but a family all the same. Stay safe.
your number is up! Signing you up for dry January with me. Anyone else?
Big hi to all other babes.
thurso are you out there?

Cross posted with bugger
What's happened? Are you ok?

bugger what's up? Come and talk with us.

Mouse please keep posting. That's what this wonderful bus is for! We have a sidecar for drinkers, complete with squishy bottoms cushions and a goggle-wearing dog to snuggle up to. Bring Wolf if you like and leave your worries behind for a few minutes peace with us x

We don't care if you are drinking, we just care about you. You need to do what you need to do right now. Tomorrow is another day and none of us know what it holds, so just focus on the here and now and let us help you through it.

There are a lot of struggling babes right now, let's just take it slow today and tackle our problems in the order that they are killing us. And for any babes that have to stop completely, or stay stopped, the best way to do it, possibly the only way to do it, is to completely embrace your sobriety.

Enjoy it, love it, sing it from the rooftops. You are well, you are in control and you will never, ever wake up and regret not drinking the day before. You are richer in so many ways, celebrate your sobriety (and re-read the posts about sore heads, sick stomachs, hungover angst and all the other 'joys' of drinking.

Guys nothing has happened not really just trying to fight this crap xxxx

Chopin my kindle app was free. It's called CBT Diary, but there are others.

number5 welcome and well done for being brave and posting!

Just got through a family party without drinking!!! YAY!!!!!!

I really felt like a drink when they all left. There was half a can of coke left and I so wanted to put a drop of voddie in it and drink it. But I didn't.

I am going out for a walk now. I need to get the bits that were missing fumes silently from my sainsburys order and I thought I might feel healthier and more positive if I walk rather than drive.

Thanks for all your support.

Hi again ,I didn't really introduce myself the other day.
I've been a drinker for many years (also used to take party drugs in my youth) Think I've probably fucked up my serotonin for the rest of my life...
I've changed my meds this past month & I 'm really really fucking struggling. Totally thrown all the good work I've done down the pan (groupwork since Feb). I got very drunk last weekend & behaved awfully!
I feel like my flat is a hovel, it's relentless trying to keep it clean with a 3yo I feel like throwing every thing in a big skip. Been an awful shouty mum (I'm usually quite calm & very loving to my beautiful little fella)
Seeing the doc tues am, then going to my mums for 3 nights. Really need the break

Hi,
mouse thinking of you x

I'm really pleased to see people mentioning dry January. By now,lots of us with problems with booze will be feeling the strain and be at that turning point where you know things can't continue the way they have been. How about we all have a go at dry January together? No pressure,this is a no judgement thread (thankfully).

A few new babes have mentioned that they have relapsed after a period of sobriety. Please do not think that everything goes to pot when you relapse. There are plenty of us who dream of making it to 18 months/ 6 months/1 month/1 day. Any sober day is a day when you looked after yourself properly,physically and mentally,hard though that may be.
Quite frankly,staying sober whilst in possession of a 3 or 4 yr old is beyond them means of many- Oh yes,ds I am looking in your direction- so give your selves a break from the guilt. If you can't manage af today,then how about tomorrow? NYE? NYday?

I'm won't be drinking today.

just back from a family Christmas lunch and I drove :) :) :)
Also dropped the teenagers at the pub and will now wrap presents.
I have lapsed a bit cos family are staying and I find it a struggle when the bar opens earlier and earlier however I am MUCH improved.
Will def do dry January :)
Positive vibes to everyone

I'm a lurker. Haven't posted for a couple of years. Not struggling too much. But it's always there.
Soberist you made me think of Soberistas website. Some of the books they recommend are very good.
Good luck all over Christmas.
And mouse, you look after yourself. You are so important to this thread. You've helped so many.

bugger How are you holding up, what is going through your mind?

Donna Looking after a three year old can be like a relentless beating. Try not to abandon all hope. And dont worry about serotonin. Here: www.salon.com/2013/12/13/new_developments_may_help_those_with_depression_partner/

I'm having a shitty Christmas. Not because I am sober, but because life sucks at the moment. All I have to look forward to in the new year is going on trial for neglect of my child. How I get up in the mornings, I don't know. But we must. We all must get up sober. That's how we start our day. What we decide to do after that is an individual choice. I choose to do it sober. And I do it a day at a time. 103 days in a row.

why you will be on trial?
But...I thought you had him back now, at least partially? 103 days sober? Wtf else do you have to do?
Will you be with him for Christmas?

why that is so tough. But you continue to be amazing. I look back and see how I would use every tiny excuse to have a drink - lost purse, broken toenail, weeds in the garden..... I look back and I feel ashamed AND I am in awe of you and how well you are doing. 103 days, 103 days and still going.

I sense that you have strong inner core, and that you are gathering support from every source, not least your AA group. Just keep on going.

Just checking in.
why poor you- it seems that you just get over one hurdle and then there is another to cross. do you have any idea of the likely outcome of the next trial? (you don't need to answer that). Any progress on getting your ds back?

ma did you give that nice young man back or are you keeping him for christmas?

Good morning Babes. Who will join me in momentous Monday - a day when we drink lots of tea, juice, water - knowing that being hydrated and having a sober night of sleep is the best plan of approach for the coming days of madness.

For those of you who are drinking over this festive season there will be plenty of opportunities in the next few days, so go on take the chance and give your liver a break today.

Morning all,

Rudolph the red bummed reindeer,
had a very shiny bum...

Sorry,singing rude words to hymns/carols/serious songs always cheers me up. I've taught ds to do it on the grounds that all infants should know rude words to songs.

How is everyone today?

why I hope things seem a little easier to deal with today- appreciate that it's as hard as it gets. I'm still holding out some hope for you and wishing you the best.

mouse how are you doing today?

Oooh x post with venus

Morning lovely!

morning babes

I had an amazing weekend. First, sober sex. (actually, sex of any kind is pretty rare these days - sober is a bonus! )

Second, DH office Christmas party and I didn't drink. The first really 'big' party I've ever done without alcohol and it was great! I did get a bit annoyed that they had provided loads of free alcoholic drinks and no soft drinks. Eg. each table of 8 had 3 bottles of wine, and about half-a-dozen beers. We asked them to swap the beers which nobody was drinking for cokes - and they refused. I did get a bit irritated by that (hopefully I didn't come across as too evangelical to the rest of the table...)

But best of all, I had a kind of epiphany on the way to the party. Usually I get anxious especially about meeting new people. And can't wait to get that first drink/ worry about how many more drinks I can have/whether I will have too much/embarrass DH in front of his work colleagues etc.

On the way there, I really didn't feel too anxious. It was like a whole load of pressure was lifted. Just knowing I wasn't going to drink AT ALL made me feel free because I wasn't constantly thinking about what was in my hand. It made me wonder if it wasn't the 'meeting new people' which made me anxious, but the craving for alcohol ???