The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

[Mouseface]

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. :)

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.

You'll find the last thread HERE, THAT WILL LEAD TO THREADS BEFORE IT, SOME HISTORY

And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Crotch Day 11 is fantastic well done. How's that knitting coming along? (from memory that was you who mentioned it) I can't remember what you were creating Disappointing on the Becks front but maybe your taste buds are moving away from that hop taste , think I maybe speaking a load of cack

Soc Hope you're ok Babe. I expect you've donned that bikini again and BBQ'd on the beach

Lol at sidecar

Ok day 1, and I'm off to Morrisons later for their Eisberg NA wine, I read its very good...lets see. I'll report back tomorrow

Morning all babes, day 11 :) I've tried to put some plans in place to get through the weekend sober - going out with a none drinking friend - but they've all fallen through. I'm going to have to do it myself, somehow. I know if i have a drink it will only be two glasses but it'll turn into days of drinking....

Hello spanna, thanks
I'm worried they will take my dc away as they think iv not protected them their evedense is I have had two black eyes not reported to police, my rabbits dying my car window smashed and I'm still living here in this house.

Good god spanna I think you may have me confused with someone else :o
I DO have knitting needles but not the foggiest idea what to do with them (from memory my DGM just wiggled them up and down a bit and stuff materialised from them) I have not yet found DJ bad enough that I have felt the need to crack open the knitting or one of those Wasgij puzzles, that's 8 hours of my life I will never get back

Morning all

Been mega busy back at work, healthy eating, no drinking, sleeping well, etc. so all is good in the nuff house. So much to catch up on here on the bus.

Wonderful to see Gerald so full of amazing, supportive babes. Will try to post a bit more later.

Mouse really good to hear from you again. Thinking of you x

Massive inclusive wave to everyone. This thread will be full soon, so remember to join us on the next one. Look out for the link which our lovely Mouse will sort out for us

If anyone is drinking please post if you want, there are a lot of us abstaining at the moment but it doesn't matter if you're not. This bus is here for everyone.

Someone was asking about books. If you have a kindle this is quite a good read.

Calorie free and anyone?

I'm you have reported some to the police and as you've said they were hopeless. But at least there is some record that u've gone to police previously. Also you've contacted WA there'll be a record of that. You have been asking to move. You are still living in the house, as you have nowhere to go. Is it worth phoning WA again to explain situation, your fears and try and get into refuge today? A huge thing to do but to show them your making steps away from there.
Not sure if any of that helps Hang in there darling. I will be checking in alot today if I can help x

Crotch where an earth did I get that from. I am going more mad than I previously thought

Nuff you sound amazing so glad you're on top of it all and Nuff house is good x

Mouse sending you a little squeeze x

Hello lovelies. OK, so this is a tough time - maybe several days AF and feeling so, so tempted; maybe dealing with crap of real life (and all that January brings - shit weather, shit finances, too long to wait till spring); maybe it feels as though other people are trying to sabotage your efforts; maybe you're sabotaging yourself.... Doesn't matter. Today is always a good day to just be resolute - it doesn''t matter whether this is day one, day 10/11, day 400, (or day 6 and a half itstheonlyway ). TODAY is a good day for trying alcohol free wine (yuk! yuk! ime, but at least I did try it), or for attempting the wizardry of knitting ( crotch ), or simply for gritting your teeth, biting your nails, holding on by what's left of your fingertips, and hissing away from the world.

Today is a good day. Stay alcohol free and make it a great day.

Im I understand your fears. It seems their evidences relates to the violence against you, surely then they must accept he is a threat. How you protect yourself and your dc is only part of it, what about how THEY protect you and your dc? and why the hell are they allowing him to the meeting? I am so frustrated for you babe but have no experience or idea how SS do things so I don't want to say anything that may make things worse. I would agree with Spanna that speaking with WA is probably a good move and they should be so much more knowledgable. Take care babe xx

Spanna boing boing!! Loving your energy and yes I can feel you snapping at my ankles - it's keeping me going! I am walking around today like the tinman; I did 90 min TKD class last night and now everything hurts. On the plus side I did my first day within calories it may only happen once, so have to write it down .

Anne lots of strength to you,you are storming through DJ, at day 11 already! You can do one more, really you can xxx

Crotch at the knitting post, my Nana used to 'materialise' things from wiggling them about a bit too.

itsthe I really enjoyed my af beer last night, am interested to hear about how the wine tastes.

Waves to venus, soc, Faire, baby, isinde, rural, mouse and everyone else that may be reading

Yes beaches the AF wine is a mystery. I cannot drink wine as it makes me giggle and shifts my perception by about 3 inches so I am incapable of negotiating doors and have to leave all the lights on as turning the switches off is a near impossibility
I quite fancy the idea of quaffing liberal amounts of AF wine without making a tit of myself :o

Afternoon everyone, spent the morning making water powered bottle rockets with DS, then hiding from the neighbours when they went of course on to their roofs (if anyone asks, it was bloody Brian Cox's fault). Hope everyone's making the most of the day, and Im, what Beaches said is spot on. Are you allowed to take someone with you to the conference? Perhaps WA can provide or put you in touch with an advocate?

Sweet that sounds like fun

I've been for a wade walk across the fields. Feeling refreshed and energised. So lovely to have bright blue skies and sunshine for a change. I've even got washing on the line!

itsthe this is a really nice AF alternative for those 'champagne' type moments. It does taste nice but although it's only £4.99 a bottle, you have to order a minimum of 6 and there is postage.

However, in the grand scheme of what you might have spent on alcohol, it's not too bad.

I had a batch a while back which I kept in my garage for emergencies - those times when the craving just got too bad and, instead of heading out to buy wine, I opened one of my very special bottles of 'fizz' and had that instead. It worked for me.

There are other drinks on the website that might be worth a try if anyone wants to be a taster and report back?

Great link for the AF wine Faire, like the idea of 'dealcoholised' - suggests it might be more that just fizzy grape juice.

thanks beaches I've made a point of getting the shopping in so i won't have any excuses to pop to the supermarket this evening. I've just finished Jillian's Banish Fat Boost Metabolism and really done want to sabotage that with extra wine calories either. Despite 11 days of DJ and no more than 1400 cals a day I've not lost a pound

Well its chilling in the fridge now, and I'm expecting vinegar tasting/catsbumface inducing stuff here. Hope I'm proved wrong...

Thanks for the link, faire, thats really useful

Would go for the beer variety but hate the gas-iness.

Anne stick with it. Same happened to me 10 days before I was due on and afterwards all the weight fell off. Sometimes our bodies like to hold on to that extra water and that's all it is. You will get the results you want if you stick at it.

How many weeks til summer? Well assuming it's here by June, about 20 weeks to get that 'bikini body'. Make them count babes, you will be glad you did

Good evening, tis me, Mouse

Anne - I did the MN Low Carb Bootcamp and lost 2 stone in 6 months. I feel amazing the weight has STAYED OFF!

I've cut my bread right down, pasta maybe once a month, no rice, reduced my gluten massively, as in I try to be wheat and gluten free as much as possible, upped my water to at least five pints a day, stopped with the obsessing etc and once you get used to that 'Way Of Eating', you lose rather quickly and then you just maintain.

I have treats, chocolate and cake but in moderation. That's the key - moderation and water. The more water you drink, the more water and weight you'll lose. Daft as it sounds, it's true. :)

I am happy in my body and I can finally get into a size 8 pair of skinny jeans from Fat Face! - their sizes are bigger though!

My skin is clear, I have energy most of the time although I've been wanting to sleep more too (I think that is down to losing my mum so suddenly and grieving)

It's common sense really. Move more, drink more water, have a mixed and varied diet :)

You'll get there, I have done every diet in the book, and this is the ONLY thing that works for me; cutting out fuel I'm not going to use. Keep going xxx

I'm - If you want to or NEED to get out of the house, you can contact Shelter LOOK HERE and they will give you the details that you need to find somewhere SAFE for you and the DC.

I appreciate that you don't want to put too much on the board, and that we've talked off board but this is getting serious now.

WA have a responsibility, (a duty of care), to protect women in danger, as do the police, as do SS.

As others have said, WA should and can do more than they have so far, from what you've said.

If you are scared of losing your DC, you have to act. I'm very surprised that WA haven't done more to help you.

The police seem pretty unhelpful too considering that their are young DC involved.

You know what you need to do. We've talked off board and you have the practical things in place, if you weren't thinking of leaving, you wouldn't be asking the things that you are.

You need to detach yourself from him. Emotionally and physically. You have to leave him, you know that. Think of what the DC see, hear, and feel when he hits you, leaving bruises - (you can cover the emotional wounds, but not the physical ones)

You need to take the control away from him, take the fear away from him, take his power away. The SS will HELP YOU if you are honest, and whilst you don't want to lose your children, you really don't want to keep living like this, do you?

Please, talk to Shelter. They really helped me when I was in a similar situation, as did a local women's support group.

Enough is enough, it's time to take action and protect yourself and your DC. xx

Oops, just realised I posted this on the Dry thread slightly by mistake as I'd meant it for here (the lovely people on that thread may be a bit mystified by all the bus references!) So - here goes again..

Hello all. Waves shyly. Can i join you? I've been reading your posts for a while now and I LOVE this bus! You are all such safe and supportive drivers and I've gained a lot of comfort and knowledge from you all in a short space of time - thanks so much.

Bit about me. I'm mid-40s and I've drunk far too much for far too long - classic decline from student drinking to workplace drinking to anytime/anyplace drinking. This is the first time I've really properly admitted it - I'm an addict. In the months leading up to Christmas I was doing the whole drinking wine from coffee mugs at 11am and hoping no-one noticed thing, and getting through a couple of bottles a day, every day for months. I seemed to be functioning ok, doing my job, spending time with the kids, but everything was happening through a hazy, distant fog, figuring out how I could sneak the next drink, and so snappy whenever the plot got foiled - really irrationally angry and unpleasant with those I love. Tbh I have no idea whether my (very lovely) DP was wise to it or not - I suspect it must have been obvious and maybe he was as scared to acknowledge it as I was. I got to the point my liver was twingeing (does that die down once you stop drinking, btw?), I was permanently half hungover/pissed, doing deals with myself every morning and breaking them by lunchtime. And SO miserable.

So I started DJ, like the rest of the country, more in resigned hope than expectation. And (whisper it), I am astonished by how well I feel 10 days in. Don't hate me for saying this but thus far I have found it surprisingly easy. I've had alarmingly vivid dreams and been a bit tetchy here and there, but the psychological triggers to reach for a drink as soon as I get home from work don't seem to be kicking in. And I guess that's why I've stuck my head above the parapet here and am asking for your support. I feel its too easy at the moment and I KNOW I'm deluding myself and that I'll fall comprehensively off the wagon if I am not constantly vigilant - at the moment its all shiny and new, but once we're into February and its become more of a habit not drinking, I know it will take a tiny, tiny shove to send me back to the Pinot Grigio. It will only take a whisper or a sniff of a drink at just the wrong moment and I will fall, and all this smugness will evaporate and I will just be desolate to be back there again. I can't bear it, for me or for my family. So, I would be so grateful if I could climb on your bus for the ride - it sounds much nicer and comfier than a lonely wagon and I would love to join you (ideally on the beach!).

thanks for listening - sorry for this massive deluge of a post!
xx

beaches yes I saw! Saturday is a bit tricky, with extra coffee and biscuits, but I'm still in the green (just) and not even had my pudding yet

I'm wavering a little tonight, it's just habit to think that after a busy week I deserve a drink. The diet is keeping me going, and I assume there are hundreds of calories in wine?

Sorry, I cross-posted with you Bruno Welcome and well done for posting.

I'm sure some wise babes will be along soon with advice and support. My only suggestion right now is that be careful if you find it too easy, as you may start thinking to yourself "oh this isn't so hard, I could do controlled drinking" and little by little it creeps back.

About 75 calories per 100ml Joey. For me, the wine itself was not just the diet problem, it was the poor food choices I made after drinking the wine too.

Hi Bruno welcome to the bus and well done on dry January so far. The best advice I can give is to keep posting. Check in whenever you like but especially so if you feel tempted. Remember, the first glass is the only one you need to avoid. We can help with that.

Welcome Bruno take a seat and Ma Mouse Nuff or Isinde will be along with your ticket

Well done for posting it's a brave thing to do Hold tight Babe just keep posting. Day 10 is amazing x

Haha spanna, not me driving. No wonder we are hurtling along at such a rate!!